tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3972382144120426476.post6216546193783696032..comments2024-03-28T12:46:54.004-05:00Comments on Every goddamn day: 03/28/24: Shutting up is an art formNeil Steinberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11468057838260476480noreply@blogger.comBlogger22125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3972382144120426476.post-90753168948533268932018-04-06T18:25:17.494-05:002018-04-06T18:25:17.494-05:00Neil, the way they swarmed to attack you reminds m...Neil, the way they swarmed to attack you reminds me of of the tactics employed by the radical extremes of both political parties in the 2016 presidential election. Social media has become the road to anarchy. I have no ideas on how to calm the hive. There doesn't seem to be a common good anymore. Tony Galatihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11944671504245191140noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3972382144120426476.post-10152552784067658032017-04-07T17:33:14.185-05:002017-04-07T17:33:14.185-05:00This comment has been removed by the author.Privatehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10757585399827295128noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3972382144120426476.post-49652471781879571002017-04-07T17:32:20.503-05:002017-04-07T17:32:20.503-05:00Yes, you can't argue with stupid.Yes, you can't argue with stupid.Privatehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10757585399827295128noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3972382144120426476.post-6185794333490111242017-04-07T17:27:37.417-05:002017-04-07T17:27:37.417-05:00me, myself poster
you are ridiculousme, myself poster<br /><br />you are ridiculousPrivatehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10757585399827295128noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3972382144120426476.post-25937198371687680102017-04-07T17:26:14.337-05:002017-04-07T17:26:14.337-05:00Matisse should know better and you are a brave sou...Matisse should know better and you are a brave soul.Privatehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10757585399827295128noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3972382144120426476.post-53713874398883758912017-04-07T17:21:18.919-05:002017-04-07T17:21:18.919-05:00Yes, it's abuse and coercion of women and kids...Yes, it's abuse and coercion of women and kids. Too funny about the response to your wife. <br /><br />Didn't think you watched any sports.Privatehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10757585399827295128noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3972382144120426476.post-32116723713160560622017-04-07T17:19:26.491-05:002017-04-07T17:19:26.491-05:00This comment has been removed by the author.Privatehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10757585399827295128noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3972382144120426476.post-45779503060768250782014-12-28T14:50:43.311-06:002014-12-28T14:50:43.311-06:00I live prostitution as an art form. I date as a su...I live prostitution as an art form. I date as a sugarbaby and choose the men I go out with and have relationships with. Most are married as I am, so the boundaries are clear in that sense, but nevertheless getting to know a man is like discovering a whole universe. I simply love what I do. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3972382144120426476.post-34552198389157080332014-06-16T12:56:23.157-05:002014-06-16T12:56:23.157-05:00This. This is what is mind-boggling. Lonely guys t...This. This is what is mind-boggling. Lonely guys that have never been able to have a relationship and never get sex...ok, fine. It's pathetic but hire a hooker. But you're story is ludicrous to me. You cannot possibly "love" your ill wife because you put your selfish needs before her feelings and disrespect your marriage. Kudos for not having an affair but how you can do this and sleep at night eludes me. You're delusional. You do not love your wife any more than you love your hooker. Buy a Fleshlight and subscribe to pornhub. At least then you are not hurting this person you claim to love so much. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3972382144120426476.post-60687898332170318552014-04-07T20:05:42.904-05:002014-04-07T20:05:42.904-05:00What a sad and warped perspective. You have no ide...What a sad and warped perspective. You have no idea what the motives of anybody writing on this subject are. Prostitutes who claim that the image of the happy hooker is the norm offer no evidence, have no sympathy for the victims among them. It hardly merits a reply.Neil Steinberghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11468057838260476480noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3972382144120426476.post-54398942575324100052014-04-07T18:32:34.287-05:002014-04-07T18:32:34.287-05:00"prostitutes are mostly degraded victims"..."prostitutes are mostly degraded victims"<br /><br />I have a fact for you too, Steinberg, the majority of mainstream writers on prostitution treat as a voyeur sport. Like you, it's all about beaten women and mug shots so you can get yours warped white knight fantasies out. None of you care about what they need or even about the beaten and battered who women who sometimes find their way to sex work (btw, you'll find many housewives are beaten to. Women who've had nothing to do with sex work. Partner violence has always been an epidemic, one we're just starting to udnerstand.) Hell, you and your commentors even degrade them calling them hideous and worse.<br /><br />You don't care about sex workers, Steinberg. And it's insulting that you pretend you do. But what's truly disgusting is how you turn the women who complained about the stereotypes you hoisted onto them, who's voices you dismissed, into the villains in your story. You and your readers just want to see mug shots of women trying to take care of their children on the six o'clock news.juliannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3972382144120426476.post-156136768221031792014-04-07T12:28:35.559-05:002014-04-07T12:28:35.559-05:00It never fails to surprise and sadden me that peop...It never fails to surprise and sadden me that people are closed-minded enough to think their experience is the only one. I used to engage more in (what I imagined was) constructive argument. But it's a waste of time. As I get older, and feel my life growing shorter, I try to avoid ideological exchanges. What's the point? People have their beliefs and whatever I say won't change them. And vice versa, I suppose - making me part of the problem. I happen to be against "sex work." Because I don't believe it's a choice a healthy person would make. (And I'm certainly against the kind that's actively forced. Hopefully we all agree on that, at least.) But I also believe in live and let live. I've debated enough to know that one's opinions aren't worth a hill of beans. Now where's that peppermint tea? halcyonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16153075174949462914noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3972382144120426476.post-63163939670402175152014-04-07T02:37:05.727-05:002014-04-07T02:37:05.727-05:00Bludog,
I believe you misinterpreted Matisse. I d...Bludog, <br />I believe you misinterpreted Matisse. I don't think she's saying that all those women are sex workers, I believe she's pointing out the hypocrisy of a system that says that if a woman chooses to have sex for some reason...be it a ring, a dinner, a flattering complement...that is her choice, but if she has sex because she asks for money directly that suddenly becomes a crime. I think we are naive to assume that many men might have other motives. Many are not simply taking a woman out for dinner and drinks and dancing (or the theater, the museum, etc) without any additional motive. <br /><br />Is it not odd that if a man and woman to out consensually and she feels, for whatever reason, that the experience warrants sex, that it is acceptable...unless we pair it down to an exchange of money? Justinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12232903687532305184noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3972382144120426476.post-47166074244795702552014-04-06T18:05:22.793-05:002014-04-06T18:05:22.793-05:00I think many people have a lot of misconceptions a...I think many people have a lot of misconceptions about sex workers and their clients. So let me share a personal story with you that might put this in a different light. I am a 50 something man. My wife, who I am still very much in love with after many years of marriage, has progressive remitting MS. She is at this point a very sick woman. One of the side effects of this disease, and the medication she takes, is that our once vibrant sex life is now none existence, and has been so for several years. It's hard to live a life of celibacy, particularly when it's not what one would chose to do. I could have had an affair, I have certainly had the opportunity, but I did not want the emotional entanglement that inevitably comes along with that. <br /><br />A year ago I decided to see a sex worker. Until my wife became quite ill I never even considered this. I thought about the idea for two years before I finally took the step. I didn't know what to expect, and was fully prepared for a disaster. <br /><br />Too cut a long story short, I ended up seeing a handful of women before I settled on becoming a regular of a high-end escort. She is an independent, strong-minded, charming and intelligent woman of around 40 with an education from a well know Liberal Arts College. She has been in "the business" for 20 years, entered it freely, and says that it was a conscious choice. She works for no one but herself, has her own place, has no regrets, and pays taxes on her earnings, just like the rest of you. I see her once a month on average. She has become a friend and a lover, but one where there are clear boundaries. For a few hours each month, I venture into this alternative world that provides me with a sanctuary and sustenance, and then I depart. It helps me to deal with the realities of my daily life, and in my view it does not threaten the core of my marriage. <br /><br />Just for the record, we always practice safe sex. Indeed, the sex worker I see insists on that with all of her clients. There are no exceptions to this rule, period. My understanding is that this is the norm in the profession, and it has certainly been my experience. If you think about this, it makes total sense. When an STD can threaten your livelihood, you are going to be very careful to make sure that does not occur. <br /><br />The point of my story, of course, is that neither the escort nor I fit established stereotypes. Yet from what I have discovered, we may be more of the norm. The other women that I saw prior to meeting her were also independent women in their 30s and 40s who had made a conscious choice to enter the business. They all had their own places and worked for themselves. When I told my story to one provider, she replied: "yes, your story is not at all uncommon, I see a lot of older men who truly love their wives, but their marriage lacks some spark, and I provide that spark". Another one told me that the average age of her clients was 60. Indeed, one provider told me of a regular who was in his mid 80s and wore a pacemaker. He instructed her that if he died during sex, she was to dress him, drag him into the corridor, then call the police and report the dead man outside her door – and I have no doubt she would have done that. <br /><br />Now I am not so naïve as to be ignorant of the other worlds out there; of the harsh world of the street prostitute on Chicago’s South Side, or the heavily indebted Asian girls that are recruited by loan sharks into prostitution, and bought to the United States where they work long shifts to generate the cash flow to pay down their debt. I do not support those worlds. But the fact that those worlds exist does not mean that all sex workers are trafficking victims who do not know their own minds, have no agency, and are controlled by pimps. That is a stereotype born of almost total ignorance, and a highly misleading one at that. <br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3972382144120426476.post-6385697675710305992014-04-06T13:33:02.309-05:002014-04-06T13:33:02.309-05:00Neil,
Fascinating. I'm just going to offer a...Neil,<br /><br />Fascinating. I'm just going to offer a few observations, though I don't really have a strong opinion about this topic. <br /><br />When I read the original column, and again here, I questioned the value of Madigan's remark: "The reality is, no young girl dreams of becoming a prostitute." Whether that is true, or not, it seems to me to be irrelevant. Many, many people do work that nobody "dreams" of doing as a young girl or boy. That doesn't mean that all such work should be illegal, nor that only people pursuing their dreams should be employed.<br /><br />If you were only going to get one non-Twitterized argument, the one you got was a very cogent and well-presented one, and you deserve credit for adding it to the post.<br /><br />I believe that WendyC made a fine comment, as well.<br /><br />Finally, sorry for being so trite, but whatever one thinks about all of this, I hope that you at least appreciated, when compared with the run-of-the-mill insults you receive regularly, the rare opportunity to be called a wankchariot! Jakashnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3972382144120426476.post-59560042069155931742014-04-06T12:10:57.202-05:002014-04-06T12:10:57.202-05:00As always Neil, a wonderfully insightful and inter...As always Neil, a wonderfully insightful and interesting post. I particularly appreciated this: "This is what you get from insular groups who are so used to trading pieties among each other, they forget how to deal with outsiders. They see themselves as besieged. Everybody outside the wall is either a friend or an enemy, a zero or a one." So very true, and so well stated. We have make sure that WE don't become those people who are closed to others' ideas and opinions. <br /><br />I also appreciated your inclusion of Matisse's letter; however, I object to her claim, "It does not matter if I decided to have sex because someone bought me dinner, or because they offered me a diamond ring, or if they offered me a hundred dollars." This is a defensive position I've heard expressed before, as if any woman who has sex is some sort of a sex worker. I find that a convenient excuse on her part, and one that actually equals her argument. Women who do not choose to be sex workers don't appreciate being called one for merely having an ordinary relationship and sex life. <br /><br />One of the commenters above above says, "Many marriages are just legal prostitution in all honesty. In my case, I went 20 years paying without any sex." Wow. So it's all just a transaction for sex? And all those other things in a marriage - sickness, health, fat years, lean years, being there for each other when a parent dies or a job is lost - all of that is part of a transaction for sex?! I feel I don't need much more explanation as to why that marriage apparently didn't work out! <br /><br />I'm not sure where I stand on the decriminalization of commercial sex. Removing trafficking as part of the equation seems much more complex than the sex worker advocates make it out to be. I've spent time in northern Europe where prostitution and brothels are legal, yet, the majority of women in the trade appear to be young and foreign from various disadvantaged backgrounds and countries. And that, in itself, is a form of trafficking. They have no other opportunities and few choices. I suppose it's all pie in a big blue sky, but I'd like a see a world where women have more choices. And if sex worker is what they truly choose, out of all their choices, then OK.Bludoghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18131740899428934800noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3972382144120426476.post-12937322069171702972014-04-06T11:00:07.834-05:002014-04-06T11:00:07.834-05:00Matisse makes some strong points, and I urge anyon...Matisse makes some strong points, and I urge anyone who is willing to open their mind on this issue to at least read the three pieces she recommends. The stereotype of the disease wracked street prostitute with needle track lines up her arms working for a pimp because she is forced too simply does not apply to the vast majority of sex workers who are independent women and men (read no pimps) who have made a conscious choice to do the work they do. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3972382144120426476.post-83309221553172269062014-04-06T10:15:55.959-05:002014-04-06T10:15:55.959-05:00Many marriages are just legal prostitution in all ...Many marriages are just legal prostitution in all honesty. In my case, I went 20 years paying without any sex. Going to a sex worker would have worked better and been more honest. If I ever get married or live with a woman again, a sex worker is the only type of woman I would even onsider.me, myself, and Inoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3972382144120426476.post-19526512508334571322014-04-06T09:48:35.049-05:002014-04-06T09:48:35.049-05:00So Nevada regulated slavery, interesting what happ...So Nevada regulated slavery, interesting what happens when something gets government control. They become a more powerful pimp.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3972382144120426476.post-27730931393911368882014-04-06T09:11:12.130-05:002014-04-06T09:11:12.130-05:00I completely agree with Matisse. Much of the degra...I completely agree with Matisse. Much of the degradation, exploitation and abuse in the sex for money business occurs because of the legal or criminal status of this activity. It's more important to focus on the true sex traffickers and abusers of minor children, who trade bodies (both male and female) not sex acts. Money for sex by consenting adults should not be a crime; in fact it occurs all the time under the guise of escort services.WendyChttp://twitter.com/WendyCCHnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3972382144120426476.post-71074227879461918462014-04-06T04:42:13.661-05:002014-04-06T04:42:13.661-05:00I patronize higher end sex workers. They are wonde...I patronize higher end sex workers. They are wonderful. Of course it should be legal. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3972382144120426476.post-43480265508062335562014-04-06T00:17:06.640-05:002014-04-06T00:17:06.640-05:00I have to totally agree with your comment on the C...I have to totally agree with your comment on the Cicero Ave. hookers.<br />Every once in a while, I'll end up at a site that publishes the mug shots of arrested street walkers & I'm always amazed that there are men so desperate for sex, they'll actually pay these women for it.<br />Often there are also mug shots of the men arrested & they look just like they were grown from the same egg, they're the male losers & failures of the genetic lottery.<br /><br />As for the legal Nevada brothels, I saw an episode or two of an HBO series on one of them & it was truly depressing.<br />There was no glamor, no sex appeal, no interest there of any kind & I'm a straight guy.<br />Prostitutes just don't look like their somewhat popular portrayal on TV shows where most are really hot call girls that make thousands every night!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com