Maybe it's best to just say what happened.
Blufish is an excellent Glenview restaurant, on Willow Road. Good food, good service, good prices. A definite Manhattan vibe to the room, with its high ceiling and chandeliers. My boys love it. I do too, and go there whenever I can. Twice this week, to celebrate their being home. The first time, Wednesday, with the older boy. We both ordered chirashi bowls — raw fish over rice and daikon. I ordered an extra piece of tobiko — fish eggs — and he asked for an ebi, or sweet shrimp. One ebi. Tuck that thought aside.
Friday I was back with my wife and the younger boy. I got the chirashi, again — I really like the chirashi. He got a salad with chicken, and ordered a sweet shrimp. The boys love sweet shrimp.
The meals came — the waitress apologized that the sweet shrimp was on the way. When it arrived, it was not a sweet shrimp, singular, but eight sweet shrimp. We all looked at the plate, and immediately explained we hadn't ordered eight.
"But I checked with you!" she said. I instantly realized what had happened. My son had asked for "a sweet shrimp" and she had asked back, "eight sweet shrimp?" Say it out loud. "A sweet shrimp." "Eight sweet shrimp." Sounds almost the same, particularly in a loud restaurant.
She hurried away. We ate in silence. The plate of sweet shrimp sat there, untouched. Then she returned, said it was no problem, we should enjoy the extra seven shrimp, adding, "I'll have to pay for it." That brought us all up short. It didn't seem right. But we didn't know what else to do. I suggested she take the platter of food — $42 worth of sweet shrimp — for herself. No. But we didn't want seven extra sweet shrimp, especially not paid for by this young lady. We had plenty of food. I don't even like sweet shrimp. We left it on the table.
I pondered what to do "Do you want me to talk to your manager?" I asked her. I figured, explain, ooze some charm, get the waitress off the hook. She said no. I asked my wife — maybe we should split the cost with her? Both parties are to blame. She thought not — we had ordered plainly enough. The fault wasn't ours. I decided to pretend it hadn't happened, paid the bill — after checking that we had been charged for one sweet shrimp, not eight — adding the typical 20 percent tip. She had apologized at the end, which counts for a lot in my book. But I left with a gnawing sense of unease. The meal felt mitigated, reduced. The misunderstanding might have been hers, but we participated in it, albeit unwittingly. Maybe we should have split the cost of the wasted meal. At home, I had to stiff-arm the urge to go back, slip her a $20. I'd never miss it and it might help her. But I shook that notion off. Maybe the experience would inspire her to get the order right next time. What do you think? Did I do the right thing?
Friday I was back with my wife and the younger boy. I got the chirashi, again — I really like the chirashi. He got a salad with chicken, and ordered a sweet shrimp. The boys love sweet shrimp.
The meals came — the waitress apologized that the sweet shrimp was on the way. When it arrived, it was not a sweet shrimp, singular, but eight sweet shrimp. We all looked at the plate, and immediately explained we hadn't ordered eight.
"But I checked with you!" she said. I instantly realized what had happened. My son had asked for "a sweet shrimp" and she had asked back, "eight sweet shrimp?" Say it out loud. "A sweet shrimp." "Eight sweet shrimp." Sounds almost the same, particularly in a loud restaurant.
She hurried away. We ate in silence. The plate of sweet shrimp sat there, untouched. Then she returned, said it was no problem, we should enjoy the extra seven shrimp, adding, "I'll have to pay for it." That brought us all up short. It didn't seem right. But we didn't know what else to do. I suggested she take the platter of food — $42 worth of sweet shrimp — for herself. No. But we didn't want seven extra sweet shrimp, especially not paid for by this young lady. We had plenty of food. I don't even like sweet shrimp. We left it on the table.
I pondered what to do "Do you want me to talk to your manager?" I asked her. I figured, explain, ooze some charm, get the waitress off the hook. She said no. I asked my wife — maybe we should split the cost with her? Both parties are to blame. She thought not — we had ordered plainly enough. The fault wasn't ours. I decided to pretend it hadn't happened, paid the bill — after checking that we had been charged for one sweet shrimp, not eight — adding the typical 20 percent tip. She had apologized at the end, which counts for a lot in my book. But I left with a gnawing sense of unease. The meal felt mitigated, reduced. The misunderstanding might have been hers, but we participated in it, albeit unwittingly. Maybe we should have split the cost of the wasted meal. At home, I had to stiff-arm the urge to go back, slip her a $20. I'd never miss it and it might help her. But I shook that notion off. Maybe the experience would inspire her to get the order right next time. What do you think? Did I do the right thing?
Call the restaurant owner or manager and explain...since you just gave them great free advertising, they might comp you 8 more shrimp... and rectify the situation with the poor waitress who will never make that mistake again. Life offers us all lessons!
ReplyDeleteShe should not have told you she had to pay for it (and management shouldn't have that policy) but once you knew you definitely should have paid for it, either by accepting the order the way she understood it, or tipping enough to cover it. 20,% is pretty much a minimum tip these days.
ReplyDeleteAnn: Yours is the best answer. It is kind and ethical.
DeleteNo. I'm not sure how something that was so early a misunderstanding became her fault. You write that you could have easily absorbed the cost whereas she clearly couldn't. I doubt sanitation rules allowed her to take home the leftovers. Talk to the owner or don't but don't put her in the middle by asking if you should. Go back , not to order but to pay her for the misunderstanding. Btw, I enjoy your writing. You've got the gift.
ReplyDeleteYou ask if you did the right thing. I will say it wasn’t the wrong thing . My opinion. Stop thinking about it. Go back. Give her the money to cover it. I bet you will feel less torn.
DeleteI woulda paid for the whole thing and doggie bagged the extra shrimp home. See, I'm a deaf lipreader and the mistake would have been mine, as it usually is. "Eight" lipreads almost exactly as "a." Look inn the mirror and try.
ReplyDeleteThe sender of the message is always responsible absent malice. To ensure understanding.
ReplyDeleteIt's impossible to have a Manhattan vibe outside of Manhattan.
ReplyDeleteLove it!
DeleteI would have slipped her $40. I would sleep better that night knowing that I did the right thing. I also believe it was a shared mistake
ReplyDeleteWhat's next? Offering 30 minutes of plate washing?
ReplyDeleteYou don't belong in fine dining. You literally turned a newspaper into a failing charity.
Try Taco Bell next time, the drive-thru uses Artificial Intelligence and records everything for future litigation and arbitation.
I love the Taco Bell answer. Seriously, I would have paid for it. when you have a chance to do the right thing and be a hero do it.
DeleteYou're one of hundreds she served that day.
ReplyDeleteHow many typos slip into your soup, err copy?
Nothing seems to discourage that. That's life, let it go.
IMO you should have spoken to the manager immediately rather than dithering about it for a day or so. She perhaps should not have mentioned the policy but now knowing it, you should protest to the management. I would probably not go back because that policy is dreadful, but in a sense that would be punishing the wait staff not the restaurant. If you go again, keep that policy in mind and tip accordingly.
ReplyDeleteMaybe next time order "one" sweet shrimp. 🙂
ReplyDeleteCamille
So the policy of this upscale restaurant in your affluent leafy paradise is such that they will not, can not, absorb the cost of seven sweet shrimp? It was an honest misunderstanding, neither the fault of the waitress or the customer. Happens all the time. I would have requested (demanded?) a word with the manager; surely they would remove the charge. I am most surprised by your wife's militant attitude. Was it that cut and dried...?
ReplyDeleteJust looked up the menu (for the Glenview location; I presume that's where you were, as there isn't a Northbrook location). They're $6 per. You were inclined to give her an extra $20 because you "never miss it." Why not just chalk it all up to a misunderstanding and pay for the shrimp? A Chicago newspaper columnist can absorb the cost much more than a server in a suburban restaurant, no matter now "Manhattan"-like. This is clearly bothering you. You're looking for someone to tell you that it was OK that you left her to pay for it. Which suggests to me that you don't think that's true.
ReplyDeleteRespectfully- in first description you write “one ebi” and not “a ebi”. While the policy of the restaurant I do not agree with - was the order clear? Did all other items ordered have a numerical value preceding them and then switched to “a ebi”?
ReplyDeleteI always, always err on the side of generosity with money and spirit in such a situation. You can afford to eat there twice in a week with a family ,and she is waiting tables! Her boss doesn't feel he/she/they can afford to extend grace for a mistake. Slip the twenty. Nancy E.
ReplyDeleteI think that (despite the noise) when she asked for clarification ("eight sweet shrimp?") Your son could have cleared the confusion by saying "one sweet shrimp" rather than "a sweet shrimp." Whether one side or the other could or could not afford to pay for the error is immaterial. I think in this situation, the mistake is on the customer.
ReplyDeleteHappy Fathers Day!
Mistakes happen in the restaurant business like this. Neither you nor the waitress did anything wrong.
ReplyDeleteThe bad actor is the restaurant, who is making the their waitress pay for the shrimp. I think ethical thing to do might be to not go there anymore, which stinks, since it seems nice.
I would be surprised if the waitress really had to pay for it. If she did, she would have certainly wanted the shrimp. I’ve never worked in a restaurant but I find it hard to believe they would force a waitress to pay two hours of wages for an honest mistake. That’s not a place I would want to work for, or patronize for that matter. She might have been laying a guilt trip on you in hopes of getting a large tip. I would go back and ask manager if that is indeed their policy.
ReplyDelete"I've never worked in a restaurant but ..." is all you have to say. Those of us who have know an entirely different world than the one you inhabit.
DeleteAn upscale place with a Manhattan vibe? Somebody's gonna pay for those chandeliers and to heat and cool that high-ceilinged room. In this case, probably the help, who are easily replaced if they squawk. Fast-food joints...not so much. They will eat (sorry) the cost of a mistake, as part of doing business.
ReplyDeleteUsually, it's the other way around. You get too little, rather than too much. Once went to a Brown's Chicken for take-out and came home with sixteen pieces. For two people. I had ordered eight. Or maybe it was even four. Happened decades ago.
The Popeyes franchise near me is infamous for its lousy service and for shorting its customers. Happens over and over. The employees don't care. The owner doesn't care. The smell of weed is strong and obvious. I keep on coming back, because I love their product. But now I check what's in the bag before I leave. It's short more often than not. You can plainly see where my ass sits on the socioeconomic scale...and it's rarely, if ever, under a chandelier.
Misunderstandings and mistakes like this one happen frequently, and should not be blamed on the staff. Restaurants have become louder and noisier. This is not a new thing. The misguided owners want to hear "a buzz in the room"--or else they're not successful...maybe even failures. Owners like that damn crowd buzz, which is sometimes more like a roar. And I'm starting to hate it more and more...and to want to go out less and less. Younger diners probably don't even notice, or just accept it, but I have to wonder how older patrons feel about it. Maybe it's just curmudgeonly me. Never mind.
The restaurants are indeed louder. It used to be that upscale restaurants were always carpeted wall to wall, which not only augmented their patina of class and refinement, it had the bonus acoustical effect of greatly mitigating the rooms' noise levels. Alas, the self appointed barons of interior design have spent the last several decades persuading the gullible masses that hardwood, stone tile, and vinyl flooring are all the rage, and carpeting is "out". The result of this unfortunate bit of influencing is that all manner of indoor spaces have become less cozy and hospitable, and more noisy, slippery and harder on the knees (not to mention making everything one might accidentally drop on the floor more fragile). There have been numerous, once classy restaurants in my area that have undertaken renovation jobs in which, of course, they pull up the carpeting and replace it with one of the noise making alternatives. I never go to them anymore (Here's looking at you Glenwood Oaks, nice to know you Bistro on Sterling. I hope the rumours aren't true about you, Teibels, but if they are, well, I'll always have the memories.
DeleteNever had (or got to?) work in a restaurant or retail. But my few charitable volunteer experiences in that world—waiter, cashier—proved so beyond my skillset that I became a MUCH more generous tipper and a much more sympathetic customer.
ReplyDeleteAlso I really like shrimp.
I'd've paid the full tab.
Servers make mistakes. It's going to happen. Management should not have this policy. I would have paid for the shrimp, and told management this was an unfair policy. That would have been the kind thing to do. Presumably this restaurant, along with almost every restaurant in Illinois, is fighting legislation to eliminate the tipped wage, and the server doesn't get paid squat. As an ex-server, I would not patronize this place now that I know how they treat their employees. (I wonder if they forced the server to pay the retail cost or the wholesale cost.)
ReplyDeleteNot the first problem noted with Blufish. Too loud, becoming over-priced and---as you noted---inconsistent service.
ReplyDeletePay for it. Enjoy it. Do anything but hose the waitress. I'm sure you can afford it.
ReplyDeleteI had a similar experience in Northbrook a couple years ago while visiting my sister. I don’t remember the name but there is a restaurant bar in the middle of town with a nice, upstairs outdoor patio. I think they brought us two appetizers instead of the one we ordered. It was only another $12 or so. We didn’t say anything. We were hungry. I do remember the turkey rueben sandwich was delicious.
ReplyDeleteThere were two parties involved; both misheard the other. Was it pronounced AHH or AYE? Shouldn't that have been "AN EBI"? Did the waitress read back the entire order? Split the damage; put four (or five) shrimp on the tab. Explain situation to manager. That policy stinks.
ReplyDeleteLikewise. I would have paid the full tab, but taken the shrimp home -- I like leftovers.
ReplyDeleteBut, having left the restaurant without the extra shrimp, and saving the extra charge, puts you in a no win situation: your previous pleasant experiences with the restaurant have been spoiled; you're likely to avoid going back; and if you decide to sneak back to pay off the waitress, you're going to feel even more of a cheapskate despite the kindness of making it right for the waitress.
Please let your readers know if there is second act to this melodrama.
john
Unless the food is subpar or the service is rude or non-existent? I never complain about anything at restaurants. Everybody there is struggling to make money unless you're at one of the places that's doing Bank and at those places. The service is great and the food is fantastic
ReplyDeleteManagement should comped you that shrimp
And the waitress should have been very apologetic for their mistake. That's professionalism in the hospitality industry
I'm a big tipper all my wives have been servers. We currently own a small Cafe in Rogers Park. The steaks happen but I think you did the right thing in those circumstances because it was handled poorly.
I'd have paid for the shrimp and brought it home and fed it to the dog if I was full
From Kate in Chicago: waitress should not have told you that she would be paying for her mistake. She should have apologized for the error and taken the 7 shrimp back to the kitchen. That should have been the end of the conversation. That is good customer service! I work in customer service as a Concierge. I apologize with a smile and explain that the situation will be resolved no matter who erred. The customer is always right. The idea is to make you feel welcome and comfortable enough that you want to return! I dine out often at middling to high end restaurants and servers for the most part either seem stressed and rushed or clueless regarding their role in providing good service. The industry seems stressed since COVID - much like the rest of society, so much and so many experienced people were lost! I agree with your wife in that you did nothing wrong. Let it go!
ReplyDeleteMy eyes popped when I read that the waitress had not only pushed back on the mistaken order but also added, "I'll have to pay for it." Unless the kitchen actually logs the number of shrimp going out the door, the waitress is only responsible for billing the order as it showed at payment time (one shrimp), not for whatever mistakes happened earlier. On the other hand, maybe she made too many people aware of the screwup, and there was some huge discussion in the back that did not end well for her.
ReplyDeleteI had similar jobs in upscale restaurants in my college days, and I get the sense that this was a newbie server who was easily flustered. A little more time on the job and she'll learn how to handle everyday mishaps and misunderstandings, but she's not there yet.
I think it would be good for all concerned if you picked up the phone and spoke to a manager before this incident recedes too far in the past. Go through a dispassionate retelling of the events, then perhaps fall on your sword and express concern that the waitress might have been unfairly blamed for the mistake. They're not going to bill you for the extra shrimp anyway. You were there for pleasure; she was there for work.
I hope your cafe doesn’t have that policy also! How much do you think the 8 shrimp really cost the restaurant? $6? That’s maybe how much the server should have paid for the shrimp because of their lousy policy. I wonder if the servers get a discount on meals there…..
ReplyDeleteNo absolutely not. Every server gets a free meal everyday. They refer to it as family meal. If something gets returned to the kitchen it gets replaced. Nobody gets blamed a little family-run operation, not some corporate entity run by a chef!
DeleteWhat is dacon?
ReplyDeleteWhoops — it's spelled "daikon," Japanese radish. I'd never seen it written out, only spoken. I should have checked. Fixed now, thanks.
DeleteAlthough this sounds like an honest error, I've had employees at my place make "mistakes" on purpose. Occasionally I will have the employee pay for it. Sometimes with money, sometimes with their job.
ReplyDeleteNV
I'm not speaking as any kind of authority, just telling you what I would have done: I'd have paid for the shrimp, taken the leftovers home. Maybe if I felt truly wronged, I'd have tipped on the lesser amount. But the guilt you feel is real -- hence the question posed -- and there is a price to it. Next time, the order will be for "one," not "a," assuming you return to dine there.
ReplyDeleteNo one was at fault here. Mishearing something is not the same as making a mistake, and she double-checked. I guess the question to ask is, is it more important to be right or to do right? I’m confident which side you’ll fall on.
ReplyDeleteMany of the Asian themed restaurants that I frequent hand you. A printed list of the items, especially on the sushi menu and you write down the number next to the one they want. It says the Asian name and then it says the American name. So you know what it is that you're about to eat. Many of the servers look to be Asians while many of the customers are Americans and they've had this mix-up many times through misunderstanding and language which can happen even when both people speak the same one. I guess an upscale place would feel a little chintzy. Maybe handing you a card but then there's no question about what you ordered
ReplyDeleteAlso, there are places that you place the order on your phone and walk up to the counter to get it pretty fancy places. No wait staff just bussers. I find it weird, but supposedly it keeps the price down by not having to pay waitress or waiter and complicates the tipping issue beyond belief, restaurants. Better figure it out
So...what are you going to do?
ReplyDeleteWow, Mr. S, you certainly hit another nerve today. Seem to be a LOT of anonymous commenters...more than the usual number. Maybe if I went back and read all of them, all over again, I could even puzzle out whether it's Anonymous 1, 2, 3, 4 etc...or merely one persistent asshole--ragging on you because you a) have a better job than he does, b) make a lot more money, c) eat out a lot, d) are something of a foodie, and e) didn't "do the right thing" and pony up, thus absorbing the damages, and getting the server off the hook. If indeed she WAS on the hook. I don't care for, or trust, too many people at high-end joints. Which is why I don't go to very many. Call it less than zero.
ReplyDeleteMy guess is Door #2...the PAT...Persistent Asshole Theory. Perhaps you were letting us see, once again, how much you have to eat every day. And I'm not talking about shrimp, either. More like what falls out of the back end of a horse. It comes with the territory, and the job. You certainly know how to stand the gaff, Mr. S. Which I do not. I never could.. It's a huge reason why I'm where I am, and you're where you are. Kudos.
Did I let some through? I thought I deleted them all. But there were so many some might have snuck in. Sometimes sane folks comment as anonymous. The part that wasn't clear is that both my boys live in other cities, and both were here for a pre-wedding event, so that's why I took each out to lunch. Otherwise it's a solitary salad and a Yasso bar for me. Honestly, I barely look at the malicious stuff, and actually have come to appreciate how it's inured me to this. I literally feel nothing. Why should I care if crazy mean people hate me? I don't.
DeleteMy comment from about 12:30AM didn't make it in. Must have swept it out with the trash.
DeleteLove Greek yogurt, but have never even heard of Yasso bars...until now. They sound quite yummy. Probably more expensive than I'm used to, but I'm gonna hunt them down and try them this summer. Thanks for the heads-up, Mr. S.
DeleteFirst of all 20% tip is a nice tip especially if you are “paying more” on cost of the “unordered” items. Second, why not consume the items charged on your bill or ask for a take out box? Highly doubt the server has to “eat” a mistake order.
ReplyDeleteIn long run, you, the customer, in this situation's, have a much higher economic position in life therefore give the benefit of the doubt to the server.
You may not be aware of it, but 20% is not a “nice” tip at a sit-down restaurant. It’s fine. It’s not exceptional, it’s expected. Standards changed years ago. You may not like it, but it’s the way things have been for a while.
Deleteyep
DeleteI would suggest checking with management: there was a mix up and we later heard .... bla bla bla ... that servers are docked for their mistakes?
ReplyDeleteIf yes, then cough up the $45 -- making sure to get it to the correct server -- and call it a day. Because you likely have no idea how much that $45 means to that server, compared to how little it might actually mean to you.
I know I would notice $45 extra on a meal, but it would not change my life. At all. So -- assuming the same is true for you, why not err on the side of generosity?
And then all of your folk will be extra careful forever on in their enunciation while ordering.