Donald Trump constantly proclaims himself to be smart, in fact a genius. Actual smart people rarely do that. First, it isn't smart, but an invitation to disagreement. Second, there are problems being smart. It isn't all whipping off the correct answer and collecting glittering prizes. People tend to hate you. You can feel cut off from the world, particularly now, when we are witnessing an apotheosis of dumbness, a Grand Festiva del Idiocy, infecting half the country and seems poised to take over half the world.
Third, no matter how smart a person can be, generally, you are still capable of making spectacularly stupid mistakes.
For example:
The birds are eating me out of house and home. So I reach the bottom of the galvanized garbage can normally filled with seeds and hurry to the nearby Ace Hardware to get more.
Confronted by the choice above, I paused, considering. To the left, two 20 pound bags of seed for $20. Or a 40 pound bag for $25.99. Hmm. That was easy. I muscled the big 40 pound bag into my little red cart and headed for the check out.
The two Ace clerks looked the bag. Then at me. Then each other.
Confronted by the choice above, I paused, considering. To the left, two 20 pound bags of seed for $20. Or a 40 pound bag for $25.99. Hmm. That was easy. I muscled the big 40 pound bag into my little red cart and headed for the check out.
The two Ace clerks looked the bag. Then at me. Then each other.
"Umm," said one. "You save money if you get two 20 pound bags instead."
I started to object, then did the math again. Ahhhh. Quite a lot more, really. Six dollars. And what galled me is I had thought about it, had considered the figures.
I thanked them, profusely. I went home and fed the birds. And considered it a healthy reminder. No matter how smart you are, usually, there are lapses. Sometimes you are wrong and the clerks at the Ace Hardware are right.
Why are you even feeding the birds?
ReplyDeleteSeriously, they will manage to find all the food they need somewhere. They're adaptable enough to do that!
I have plenty of birds around me & I never feed them & it looks like no else does either, but they hang around. We used to have one of those nutcases who fed the pigeons, but he died & all the pigeons went somewhere else. No one misses the flying rats!
Or feed them only in the dead of winter when they can't find anything else.
DeleteYou seem nice.
DeleteI have many regrets in life. Feeding the birds is not one of them.
DeleteI spend a ridiculous amount feeding my “outdoor pets”, as the seed industry likes to call them. (Gayle here.) I do a whole Sunday buffet. Almonds (whole and slivered), peanuts, Walnuts, pepitas, raisins, cranberries, whole and chipped sunflower seeds. Finch mix for the little guys. I find it calming to watch everyone descend upon the feeders. I used to fight the squirrels. Became much happier after I decided to embrace them.
DeleteWell as a smart person who is terrible at math I’ll admit you confounded me. As written, 20 pound bags at $20 bucks apiece would be $40 for 40 pounds, no? Or one dollars per pound? Versus $25.99 for 40 pounds or around sixty-five cents per pound?
ReplyDeleteOh wait, maybe what is written is different than the picture. Not sure . The picture is blurry on my tablet. So 40 pounds for $20 bucks (2 for $20) versus pounds 40 pounds for $25.99. Isn’t that a difference of less than $6?
I’m very very confused which isn’t unusual for me with math (let’s just say my math and verbal scores were so far apart that my high school counselor got a call from the testing service. ).
So can you walk a not smart math person through this? It’s gonna drive me nuts!
Sorry, I didn't explain it properly — I was laid out, sick on Monday. TWO 20 pound bags for $20. Sheesh. It never rains...
DeleteOk. But doesn’t that mean $20 for 40 pounds vs 25.99 for 40 pounds or a difference of $5.99. How do you get $14 more? Ugh. Still confused!
DeleteI don’t understand your math that had you indicate the 40 lb. bag for $25.99 was $14 more than the two 20 lb. bags for $20. Isn’t $5.99 the savings when you buy the 2 20 lb. bags for $20? Where do you get the $14?
DeleteNo, it's me who's confused. ANOTHER error. Fixed now. The savings is $5.99. Next time I'll just take a sick day
DeleteThank you for the clarification and the laughter. I love your wry sense of humor and your brevity that speaks volumes! Really appreciate your writing, your thinking, and your values.
DeleteI can't lift the 40 lb bags anyway, but please explain your math.
ReplyDeleteSee above.
DeleteEveryone makes mistakes but it is disturbing that Americans as a whole seem to be getting dumber, considering they have the accumulated knowledge of human civilization in the palm of their hand. You would have thought that the IT revolution would have ushered in a new Renaissance, instead we seem to be devolving back to the dark ages.
ReplyDeleteMany people seem to lack the ability to think critically or filter out disinformation. Even useful knowledge has become disposable. It is usually accessed and discarded, instead of retained and built upon.
The birdseed on the right is firewood. That might be part of the issue.
ReplyDeleteThat's what confused me! LOL
Delete🤣
DeleteHow the hell could i have not seen that? Birdseed and firewood. Apples and oranges (both of which are round, though).
DeleteThis "math problem" was driving me nuts. Eventually, I began to think: "It's a trick question...a joke...tomorrow he'll give us the solution and we'll all go 'D' oh!' like Homer Simpson--and have a good laugh."
Or else there's a mistake. A typo. Mr. S. will fix it, and it will all make sense.
But I can't believe I didn't see the firewood instead of the birdseed, and point it out, and look oh-so-smart. You look, but you don't see. Nor did I see the small type: '2 For"--which preceded the dollar sign.
Fifty cents a pound sounds like a pretty good deal. My wife goes to our Ace a lot. Says it's a bit pricey, but they're nice, and there are some good deals. I had a similar "math problem" a while back...when they had two different sizes of fuel for oil lamps. They were very helpful when I couldn't puzzle out which one to buy.
We're having more frequent power outages in Northeast Ohio. Aging infrastructure, manpower shortages, but mostly more storms. More trees and wires coming down. Climate change is real. The most recent outage, in August, lasted three days. It was a bad storm. Hence the future need for lamp oil. Bought three quarts. Probably not enough.
Sadly, I just found out our Ace Hardware store is closing in a few weeks. Our Ace is in a strip mall, and has only been there for nine years. Cannot understand the reason why. So handy. So convenient. So helpful. We are both very bummed by the news,
A question for Mr. S: Did you start dragging to firewood to the counter, thinking it was forty pounds birdseed?
or maybe you're not that smart to begin with
ReplyDeleteI'm beginning to suspect that.
DeleteAnd beginning to mellow
DeleteWait til you get as old as me. You may even cheer for the White Sox! Stupid is as stupid does.
ReplyDeleteBirds are the smart ones. They got you to get up and get them feed. They don't care which bag you got and I'm sure they have no problem with your math.
ReplyDeleteIt's really a shame we lost twitter... this would have been an excellent tweet
ReplyDeleteFrom presidential intelligence to bird feed; assumptions, miscommunication, preconceptions, digressions. Today's thread reminded me of a old time comedy sketch.
ReplyDeleteIt's a wonder that clear communication occurs as much as it does.
Well Neil, at least you make no claims to be a “very stable genius”, while telling us climate change is a hoax, and that we could injest bleach to fight off COVID. Among other absurdities that come out of his mouth, that his low IQ knuckledraggers line up to believe.
ReplyDeleteAnd many have of his supportrers have high IQs.
DeleteOf course we all make mistakes. The trouble comes if you don't admit it. Sometimes mistakes inadvertently hurt people. That's when apologies are in order. Keep in mind, making an excuse is not an apology. An apology is simply stating you screwed up and have no excuse. The best you can do is try not making the same mistake twice.
DeleteI sometimes say that the ability to admit mistakes is my superpower.
DeleteI am sick today with flu and a cold and depressed so sick of Trump but this column and comments really brightened my day and made me laugh out loud. Thanks Nell and everyone.
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear that — the cold, the Trump ague — I think I might have that too. Glad to have brightened your day.
Delete