"Shouldn't it be, 'She's a girl'?" I said, pointing to a package of paper plates announcing, "It's a girl!"
My wife furrowed her brow, pondering the question.
"No, sorry, joking," I said, immediately backtracking. "Just being a grammarian."
We were in Party City, prepping for the baby shower we're throwing for our older son and his wife, whom you saw married in July. Showers are co-ed now, or so I'm told, which is why my son and I will be there. (If you aren't invited, don't feel bad; we had to limit the guest list to mostly family, to keep it a manageable 40 people).
Coed baby showers feel strange. I always thought they were strictly No Boys Allowed.
Times change. But despite societal shifts, the choices at Party City were binary — "BABY BOY" said one sign. "BABY GIRL," the other. Boy stuff was blue. Girl stuff, pink.
There was no third choice — no purple "It's an ungendered person!" plates. Then again, Party City went bankrupt and is having a final sale, so maybe those were snapped up already.
Doubtful. Though honestly, I'd be fine if people bought those. I like living in a free country and can perform the mental gymnastics — impossible for many, apparently — of understanding that the freedom I enjoy myself can be utilized by other people who hold other beliefs and values not my own. I don't need to posit imaginary harms and oppress blameless individuals in order to feel good about myself. Freaky, right?
Democrats, watching in stunned horror as the scaffold of what seems like a fascist state is set up, piece by piece, sometimes fault their general acceptance of the trans community. If only we'd been a bit more judgmental and callous to the vulnerable among us. If only we'd coughed into our fists while kids were bullied, we wouldn't have to sacrifice our government now — fairness in girls high school athletics being the great moral issue of our time.
That doesn't scan for me. Then again, I'm a roll-with-developments sort of guy. I accepted the news, before we even learned the gender, that we were not to even imagine kissing the baby on the head, lest we poison it with our germs.
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Oh wow, congrats on you're becoming a Grandpa!
ReplyDeleteCongratulations Neil!
ReplyDeleteNeil, first off congrats! Being a grandparent is one of the most terrific things that can happen to a person. In two short years we went from no grandkids to 4! My one daughter had my oldest grandson and then less than two years later had identical twin boys. (Quick side note—we learned she was having twins while strolling your favorite place, the Chicago Botanic Gardens). My other daughter just completed the adoption of my granddaughter after fostering her since she was 12 days old. She is precious, we are blessed.
ReplyDeleteI have decidedly chosen NOT to be called grandpa or any of the traditional ethic names. Instead, I am The Dude, or Dude. I love it, first because I am a fan of the Big Lebowski, but mostly because it is different, not the same old thing. And it kinda fits my personality. It is very cool when they see me and come running to say ‘Dude!’. My wife goes by Lovie, a tip of the hat to a Southern nickname because our granddaughter is in Savannah.
Again, congrats! So happy for you and your wife.
Will you also be OK with "El Duderino" if the grand kids are not into the whole brevity thing? :) I'm a huge Big Lebowski and Coen brothers fan also, so many great quotes. Congratulations on being a grandparent!
DeleteI had a momentary vision of a baby babbling DuDu trying to pronounce Dude. Great names!
DeleteCongratulations Neil
ReplyDeleteNeil and Mrs. S. - MAZEL TOV! You are entering an entirely new phase of life, and what a wonderful phase it is!! The baby will worm her way into your heart and be there forever. I have 6 grandchildren. (I am approaching year 83). Not a day goes by that they don't affect my wife and me. MAZEL TOV again.
ReplyDeleteBack in my day, baby showers were always gender-neutral. Hard to imagine but we really didn't know until the kid was born.
ReplyDeleteMost wonderful news. I have felt no greater joy in life than my child having a child. It's been four years and I still find it a bit surreal. Perhaps consider a sobriquet as distinctive and anomalous as you are. Graciously leave Grandpa to the father of the bride. Mazel Tov Saba!
ReplyDeleteBeautiful column.
ReplyDeleteMazel tov! I believe this is the other news to which you alluded earlier. Congratulations! 🍼
ReplyDeleteI love the headline in the paper. :) Congrats to you and your family. So much fun in being a grandparent! We have No. 5 arriving in June as well - and a girl, too. Love you already, indeed. This time it's my son and his wife; the other four are with two of my husband's sons and wives. It makes no difference; they all are/will be the most precious things ever to this Nanna and Grandpa.
ReplyDeleteWe, too, worry about the lives of these new little beings. It is wise to recall that humans have had their ups and downs for all-time in order to not be consumed with the insanity of this moment. Thanks for the reminder. So, I will hope that the pendulum will soon again swing toward the true fairness, love, and acceptance that benefits us all. We'll be sharing those values with ours as they grow. It's a start.
I am Latino/Native, so of course I'm called Opa. Some of the cousins are half-German.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations. I have two beautiful grand daughters (4 and 2, thank you) that I take care of regularly and I can say without hesitation that taking care of them is the most fun, engaging, rewarding experience of my life. Who knew? Watching their little personalities develop is a gift from the heavens.
ReplyDeleteHopefully our grand children will get to grow up in a democracy.
Wonderful news!
ReplyDeleteI thoroughly enjoyed how you broke the news to us. Congrats!
ReplyDeletecongrats! Being a grandparent is the best! You love them, spoil them and then give em back! No need to say no, discipline . And he/she will love you unconditionally! If I'd know how great it was to be a grandma, I'd have skipped being a parent and gone right to grandma!
ReplyDeleteCongratulations! Grandparenting is the absolute best part of life. I have one, soon to have 4 (my only child is marrying a girl with 3), so big changes ahead. This is the good news; not so good news is that I'm moving to a very religious red state to be near them. It took several months to get used to the idea and make that decision, but, in the end, family took priority over politics. I do like the idea, though, of being a real thorn in the side of that state's legislators and holding their feet to the fire on all the issues.
ReplyDeleteCongrats on becoming a grandparent, I don’t think I will be so fortunate. Maybe instead of, it’s a girl one should say: a girl shall be forthcoming? The other trend these days are the gender reveal parties, maybe gender fluid baby showers? 😂
ReplyDeleteRaising a mazeltov cocktail...L'chaim to the new Bubbie and Zayde!
ReplyDeleteSaw the big display of greeting cards...and expected your column would be about gender-neutral ones, and the like. The times of spending two hours at Walgreen's, looking for the "right" greeting card for my father (generically affectionate, but without the word "love"...and never in rhyme), are ancient history now.
My bubbie was born on a farm in Russia, but she lived and worked in Bialystok as a youngster. She and two of her siblings were able to emigrate to America during World War I...while still in their teens. They were the only survivors. Their whole extended family went up the chimney around 1941-42. The letters just stopped coming. Grandma Rose was very matter-of-fact about it. She talked about it only once, forty years after the fact. By then, I was in my thirties.
Congratulations Mr. and Mrs. S. The grandparent thing is underrated. It is one of the highest honors in life. Grandpa will suit you just fine. I only have one grandchild who will be 10 in a month. She is funny, smart and a total joy. I recently teased her about being 1/10th of a century old. She promptly countered, "That sounds too old. How about 10 percent?" You're gonna love your promotion. I am very happy for you.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations! Words can’t describe the feeling of being a grandparent- but I trust you will give it a noble attempt.
ReplyDeleteI am ecstatic you Neil are a grandfather-to-be. Please enjoy the ride.
ReplyDeleteAnd know you have a fan club that exceeds space and time. The gentle winds of autumn are due to bless your growing family. All the best; as it should be.