But most ripples pass. There is one, however, whose repercussions roll on through the years.
It was Aug. 29, 2018, and I was cutting through Daley Plaza — back when people walked around the Loop, going places. I came across a protest held by "targeted individuals" — people who believe they are the center of vast conspiracies. I accepted a flyer, took a photo, and left, and later talked to their spokesman and wrote a column.
As I try to do when writing about the troubled, I strove for a gentle touch and to respect their point of view.
It began: 
"Strangers are following you. Teams of them, coordinating their surveillance. Recording you. Attacking you with sonic devices. Maybe burning you with lasers. Maybe implanting grain-sized trackers inside your body. You can feel the hard bumps under your skin."You are alarmed, naturally, and turn for help to those you trust: your family and friends. Maybe law enforcement. Only they don’t believe you. They might even act like you’re the problem. Like you’re crazy.
"Welcome to the world of Targeted Individuals, a loose confederation of those, in their words, subject to the “growing crimes of organized stalking, surveillance, abuse and electronic harassment.”
Later in the piece, I quote a psychologist who says, in essence, that these people are disturbed.
What I did not realize was that targeted individuals, reading this, would miss that nuance, and take me for a kindred spirit.
What I did not realize was that targeted individuals, reading this, would miss that nuance, and take me for a kindred spirit.
On Wednesday, I received an email beginning:
"Hi my name is Sharon and I have videos of hours of similar events that you have shared in this recent post. I have actual videos of strange events happening for more than 4 years now. I would very much like to meet you and share my experiences on this matter because I believe that if enough light is shed on this story more people who can provide some kind of proof, then maybe our laws will change to protect people with mental illness..."Concision here seemed my friend. "No,"I replied, "thank you."
That drew a second email:
"Hi Mr. Steinberg. I just saw your response to the recent email that I sent to you earlier this morning. I can guess why you’re saying no and I understand. I would like to, however, share this with you. I’m 53 years old and I’m being tortured into insanity and I can’t take it anymore. I have had to abandon the state where I was born in because they ran me out from torturing me so bad.What to say to that? "Tortured into insanity." The presence of the child made ignoring it impossible, at least for me. When you deal with such people, it's best to get them to talk. I fired off questions designed to ascertain how she views her situation, and perhaps say something to plug life:
"My family members want nothing to do with me and my only child is about to lose her mother because I can’t mentally take it anymore and my body, mind, and soul just wants peace now.
"Please reconsider it could save my life. I was supposed to end it today then I read your article.Thank you for your time and for reading and responding to my email."
That didn't work. She wrote:"Let me ask you a few questions: 1) Who is torturing you? 2) How are they torturing you? 3) Why ... why you, and not somebody else? 4) Have you explored the possibility that this might be due to something else? 5) How old is your child?
"We only know two things about this life for certain: 1) death is permanent. 2) However long we are alive, we are dead for far, far longer.
"Mr. Steinberg I’m not trying to get into a battle of wits with you. I’m not that smart.There's more, but you get the idea. I called her number and left a message saying, in essence, "I'm sorry, I don't have the skills to help you but I encourage you to find somebody who does." I expected it to end there. But I got a text:
"Second, everyone always ask those exact same questions. My daughter is 33.
'I’m not good with the back-and-forth thing I asked you and you said no I asked you to reconsider and we’re doing this back-and-forth thing and I’m not good at that.
"I really think you should take a look at some of my videos. I really think you should reconsider and take a moment to actually meet with me face-to-face and sit down and talk to me. You won’t be disappointed and you won’t regret it.
"I can’t answer your questions of who is doing it because I don’t know who. I can only tell you that I am zapped in places on my body day and night 24 hours a day seven days a week, 365 days out of the year and it’s painful....
"Hi Neil, thank you for calling me. I didn't realize that you had called me. I'm hanging in there. I decided to fight last night. I started posting any video that I could find that showed what I was talking about to TikTok, Twitter, Facebook ... It's horrible to be kept awake for more than 24 hours for no apparent reason just because someone can. I've been up for four days. I'm still functioning, but I'm grateful because if you hadn't said no, and I hadn't gotten desperate enough to reach out and hear you say no I don't think I would've fought back ... Please with me the best. I wish you the best. Thank you, you're a kind soul."
I asked her if she minded my posting our exchange. She didn't, adding, "I was afraid and now I'm a fighter."
Which is about as good an outcome, for now, as I can imagine.
Aww, that's sad. By her writing it looked like she was mentally deteriorating. Considering where we are today, who's to say she's absolutely wrong?
ReplyDeleteAs they used to say in an old show- "Bellevue is calling." You should have let it go.
ReplyDeleteMental health care in the country is even more abysmal than health care in general. It is hard to find and hard to pay for. More so if you're have the types of symptoms that require it. Frankly, any time I hear someone say "You need to find professional help" it sounds dismissive and condescending to me. Basically saying, "You're broken, go away and don't bother normal people." A better response would have been a phone number, at least recommending she call or text 988 https://www.samhsa.gov/mental-health/988/faqs There might be other services from Illinois or the city. I'm glad she found something in your response to keep going, but she is still in a lot of pain.
ReplyDeleteYou ever call one of those numbers? Providing one is a different kind of dismissive. The bottom line is that you can't solve the problems of others, particularly strangers, and a few kind words is about the best you can do. People have to save themselves. Or not.
DeleteI have not called myself, but I have it in the back of my mind as a last resort for when things get really dark. Are you saying it's useless?
DeleteI think we are both wondering what would be the most compassionate way to respond to someone struggling who who might reach out to us, especially a stranger, within practical reason. These are hard times, many are struggling. Maybe that could be a good column - finding an expert professional who works these kinds of cases who could share some stories, explain how the system works or doesn't, share some practical tips for anyone reading.
Was 988 in existence six years ago? Apparently not. Research shows that the 10-digit National Suicide Prevention Hotline transitioned to the three-digit 988 in July of 2022. And giving it out does not guarantee it will be used.
DeleteIn the early 1900’s, Chicago humorist and columnist Finley Peter Dunne (1867-1936) wrote: “The newspaper does everything for us. It runs the police force and the banks, commands the militia, controls the legislature, baptizes the young, marries the foolish, comforts the afflicted and afflicts the comfortable, buries the dead, and roasts them afterward.”
You did the right thing, Mr. S. You comforted the afflicted, as best you could. A few words of sympathy, advice, and understanding. She has to help herself. As a quasi-public figure, you have undoubtedly attracted (and dealt with) legions of meshuggeners over the years. But in the end, you're a journalist, not a therapist. You can only ease her pain. You can't fix it. Perhaps somebody else can. Perhaps not.
Neil, I think you made the right move. If someone is totally invested (rightly or wrongly) in your participation because they read/listen to you, then a quick, measured response from you can make a big difference for the better. Most just want to be acknowledged... ..John H.
ReplyDeleteThis honestly sounds like a bad case of adult shingles.
ReplyDeleteMy step-mom has it and it’s been a year of constant nerve pain that I could see deteriorating someone like this.
I'm a mental health professional and agree this was well-handled by Mr S, despite a possible lingering feeling of helplessness. As Mr S and others have pointed out, its extremely difficult to access mental health services, and impossible if the individual lacks insight into needing help. Sharon provided an opening by acknowledging she had been "driven mad". In such a case, a therapist might have been able to work with her to help her live her 'best functional life', in spite of experiencing awful things that couldn't be explained. Usually, though, people with delusional disorder resist such 'help'. And unless the legal system deems a person dangerous to self or others, the law prohibits mandated treatment, leaving families feeling quite helpless.
ReplyDeleteI remember a case from early in my career of an immigrant who was admitted to the psych ward with complaints of a demon controlling his brain, and causing 'electric shocks' to punish him. It turned out he had some kind of a tape worm in his brain, picked up from swimming in contaminated water in his home country, and found by CT scan. This isn't said to 'join the conspiracy', as many of the people at the 2018 protest were likely physically well. Its just that the brain is a really amazing organ and should be viewed through both psychiatric and neurologic lenses.
I had a similar thought shingles very painful but usually very obvious not hard to diagnose.
ReplyDeleteI experience some kind of a nerve disorder where it feels like a needle has just been stuck into me it lasts for just a few seconds but it's very painful I read it on the internet not to worry about it so I haven't had it looked into it might happen two or three times a day not every minute of every hour of every day of the year nothing like that but still there are physiological circumstances that cause symptoms that a troubled person could perceive are the result of a hostel outside force
Shingles will drive you crazy, literally, in it's more severe forms. And it's very hard to treat.
DeleteEvery once in a while in the Loop, I'll see some nut with a sandwich board with a ton of small writing on it complaining about all sorts of insanity he believes the government is doing to him.
ReplyDeleteI try to stay as far away as possible!
I was intrigued by Sharon's answer to your questions, the same that she must have heard a thousand times over the years: "I'm not trying to get into a battle of wits with you." This response seems intended to shut down the questioner and avoid any followup questions. She wants a forum to make her presentation to you, but not to have you poke holes in it. (I know this sounds a lot more dry and strategic than the way her brain is probably working, but the outcome is the same.)
ReplyDeleteI think she is used to having pushback from others whenever she tries to explain her experiences, and is probably better at dealing with such people in person than when the topic is put in writing and can be picked apart. She may either dominate the conversation, or interrupt or derail the questioner's point, but she will not be pinned down in conversation the way she could be in print, and she will remain steadfast in her vision of what's going on.
Our mental health treatment lags way behind our treatment of more-physical conditions that are easier to observe, test for and resolve. (The shingles theory raised by others sounds intriguing, and I suspect it's been many years since she had a physical exam.) It's been decades since I watched a grainy old black-and-white film in high school Health class about paranoia, including a lengthy interview with a troubled lady not unlike Sharon, and it doesn't seem like we have made much progress since then.
I think Grizz said it perfectly; one can only do so much in some circumstances, and you did just that.
ReplyDeleteSandyK