Kitty and I, we have our routine. She appears with the dawn at my bedside and makes a plaintive noise. This is my signal to stand up, throw on jeans and grab her leash for our amble around the neighborhood.
About 4 p.m. she's back, a patter of paws on the wide red pine floorboards of my office. She'll sit patiently, waiting, then clear her throat, and we'll hit the pavement again.
The final walk is always my doing. I'll realize it's after 9 p.m. and summon her from her bed in the living room. We often visit the Northbrook Village Green, where we circle the fountain, ball field, playground and charming gazebo, she exploring smells, me reflecting on the sweetness of our lives. Really, toss in a few wandering peacocks and it could hardly be more idyllic.
Sunday, just before 7 p.m., Kitty and I broke custom, with an unusual pre-dinner walk over to the park. An editor had mentioned the candlelight vigil for slain MAGA icon Charlie Kirk, and I decided to slide by for a look-see.
"We'll be back," I told my wife, busy in the kitchen preparing eggplant lasagna.
Why take the dog? Honestly, I pictured a dozen people shielding candles in homemade foil holders, shooting me hard looks as I padded past. Kitty was my cover — "Hey, I'm not spying, just walking the dog!"
That was a silly expectation. Nobody in the crowd noticed me.
As I walked up, they were singing "The Star-Spangled Banner." I took off my hat, placed it over my heart and joined in. We're on the same page, so far. Why not look for commonalities as well as divisions?
There were, by my estimate, about 300 people, some carrying American flags — several literally wrapped in the flag. Lots of kids.
Northbrook has plenty of Donald Trump fans because it's an affluent, predominantly white community, and part of the Trump appeal is to well-off white folks chafing under the difficulty of their lives: the insult of hearing snatches of Spanish spoken in public; the pain of their children being exposed to ideas other than their own; the discomfort of worrying whether the person in the third stall might have been born a different gender.
See, that's why I could never join the MAGA world — because I have no sense of grievance. Just the opposite. I'm grateful. I live in a good place. I have a good job, paid well for doing exactly what I want. Blaming others for my woes feels small, particularly since most of my problems are self-generated — little anxieties that stick in my craw until I can manage to hock them out.
It gets worse. I care about those who struggle, and accept people different than myself. Alternate ways of thinking and modes of existence are not pressing existential threats to my own. Gay marriages don't wreck my marriage. I don't look at others in a bathroom long enough to suss out their birth gender. Edgy books didn't ruin my kids. Immigrants don't threaten my livelihood. As my pal Lin Brehmer used to say, "It's great to be alive."
But my essential optimism also makes me a poor fit for the left. While I value knowing the full, uncensored history of this country, I'm still a patriot. I love the flag. I've shot guns with my kids for fun. I never bought the one-strike-and-you're-out cancellation business. I can't understand questioning an Abe Lincoln statue because of something he said on the stump in Jonesboro in 1858. Identity might be a full-time job for many folks, but it's not an actual profession.
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Northbrook has plenty of Donald Trump fans because it's rich and white, and those well-off folks have all those resentments and grievances, doncha know. About moochers and takers, and immigrants and minorities, and anyone else who's not just like them.
ReplyDeleteA vigil in Berea or Evanston wouldn't draw anywhere close to 300 people. Hell, Evanston probably wouldn't have one at all...and even Berea would not see that kind of a turnout. Vigils aren't really a thing in most well-off white communities.
Haven't heard about any vigils in Northeast Ahia. We might be deep-red North Missitucky now, but we aren't Oklahio yet, either. Can't wait for all this hoo-ha to go away, and for Charlie to fade into history. That always happens, eventually. Americans possess the attention spans of spotted lantern flies, and quickly leap from one place to another, just as these pesky insects do.
Hey. Be nice. I'm a Northbrook resident, and I wouldn't be caught dead at a "Charlie Kirk vigil." There are well over 30,000 people in Northbrook. I don't consider a gathering of 300 to be in any way representative of the political sentiments of Northbrook residents.
DeleteI was stopping by an event, not taking the temperature of the town. If you want to hold an anti-hate rally at the gazebo, I'll walk Kitty over there. But good luck getting 300 people to attend.
DeleteNot you, Neil. I was answering "Grizz 65," who saw fit to contrast Northbrook with the supposedly more enlightened Evanston and something called "Berea," wherever that is.
DeleteAh right, sorry. Sometimes I miss who's responding to who. I agree with you about Evanston — first, it's twice the population, so if they have half the Trumpies, percentage-wise, they could still muster 300. (Not to forget Northwestern students, whose politics can be imagined). As for Berea ... you must be new here. Suburb immediately west of Cleveland. I grew up there. https://www.everygoddamnday.com/2019/08/flashback-1998-hometown-is-just-distant.html
DeleteForgive me. I'm indeed new here and didn't know. I grew up in a little town in northern Wisconsin, so I would never cast aspersions on unfamiliar places.
DeleteNo forgiveness necessary. We're all unaware of most everything. A desire to learn new stuff is one of the unifying principles of the EGD community.
DeleteExcept Kirk really didn't want us to live together. Just read this essay by Ta-Nehisi Coates in Vanity Fair:
ReplyDeletehttps://www.vanityfair.com/news/story/charlie-kirk-ezra-klein-tanehisi-coates?utm_brand=vf&utm_mailing=VF_VFD_UNPAID_091625&bxid=5ee145e1cb988a675a35e917&cndid=15968422&hasha=caf95fbbc7a72adaa757863b77853396&hashc=be1de27629ea365f0c675099f61490aa626e4f3816c222ff786cb2ef8f804d09
I just read the Vanity Fair article, very interesting.Thank you for the recommendation.
DeleteThank you
Deletethanks, Clark
DeleteI really and truly believe that most of those choosing to canonize Kirk have never really seen (Instagram, X, Etc) or read a single thing that he ever said.
Delete"Can they truly be so ignorant to the words of a man they have so rushed to memorialize?"
Sadly, The answer to this is a responding "Yes".
*resounding
DeleteGrrrr Auto-correct / fat finger..
So much that is happening is certainly not good for morale but I find your commentaries to be helpful in mitigating the erosion. Shana tova.
ReplyDeleteI wish I understood politics better.
ReplyDeleteNot that long ago white men had most of the power.
Honestly it seems like white men still have most of the power.
The gains that have been made by women, black people, Hispanics and other under represented groups has led to resentment and fear amongst those whose power has been diminished.
They seem very angry about it.
Our country elected a very angry white man to be president.
He is seizing every bit of power available.
Thankfully the court system still wields some power over his efforts.
The citizens of this country need to take one of the houses of Congress in the midterms can it be done?
Joel, the court system? really? every time a decision against a trump policy goes before the supremes, trump's sick vision is upheld. the fix is in everywhere.
DeletePgw. Saying every is wildly mistaken look it up
DeleteYou were brave to take that walk. You may not view yourself as a Public Figure in 2025. At this late date. But you still count in that regard. It only would have taken two or three people in the crowd to recognize you. And then there's a confrontation. And there you are a 65-year-old man walking a small dog. Surrounded by large angry young men wrapped in flags. As I said, you were brave.
ReplyDeleteI'll never understand why some people are bothered by hearing people around them speaking another language. To me, it's music. Of course, I rarely understand what others are saying, but my ears perk up and I evesdrop, if you can call it that.
ReplyDeleteWhere I live there is a lot of Polish and Lithuanian being spoken. Most people can't tell the difference, but I can. I'm always listening. Sometimes it's just chatter, but sometimes there's a melody.
I'm kind of embarrassed to admit this but I'm one of the people who is bothered while here in the United States to hear people speaking another language.
DeleteI don't take any actions of any kind I'm kind to everyone I'm helpful to people I've hired people who didn't speak much English when they started working for me this one Vietnamese man in particular who came on the boats after waiting two years in the Australian camps so that he could come here legally.
I don't care what you do at home or when you're with your friends or family that's your choice and that's your space.
At work we all have to be able to understand each other. speak English at work . I didn't travel to a another country they did and you're being paid.
The other time that it bothers me is when I'm watching television listening to the radio attending a rally and people are complaining they're complaining about the way it is here and how they're being treated I can't understand a word they're saying but they want things to change to benefit them. one of the things that they can control is adopting the primary language of the country that they've taken residence in.
We print all kinds of documents in different languages we're an accommodating people. don't demand more and when demanding it don't demand it in a different language.
What am I supposed to do learn polish and Vietnamese and Spanish and Chinese so that I can understand what everybody's saying what are they all supposed to do learn three or four languages? Higher translators?
I don't think we should have an official language in this country you can put signs on your businesses in whatever language you want but when we're at work in order to be efficient and profitable and for nobody to get hurt we have to pick one language. right now the one that makes the most sense is English I'm sorry I don't mean to be bigoted
I don't believe it's hearing another language. One of everyone's biggest complaints was the "Press 1 For English" crap when you called in to some place. Now it's generally something in Spanish to tell them to press 2.
DeleteIt's also the feeling that the recent immigrants have no interest in learning English at all, although their children do. Plus have classes in school to teach English as a second language, instead of what California passed a law some years ago ending that. Or the absurd multi-language signs in places, where the foreign word is just an accent grave away from the English word. Now that is insane!
Hmmm ... Franco ... well, avoid Switzerland. They speak THREE languages there. When I travel, I find most locals are kind, and accommodating, and speak a little English. And Clark St. ... do you hate those handicapped spots, too? Why should somebody get to park closer just because they're in a wheelchair. I'm not sure who made you the spokesman of "everyone" but I'm never bothered by the Press 1 business. Really, how much of your time is taken up by that? 10 seconds a month? Plenty of old world types never learned the language. I never hear anyone say, "My grandmother could hardly speak English; I hated her for that..."
Delete177 languages are spoken in the United States . Less than a dozen in Switzerland one of which is English .
DeleteI was honest and I posted under my name. Thanks for not shaming me.
I've never traveled outside of North America haven't been out of the US if you don't count Canada have encountered many of these languages during my travels like I say bugs me at work and when people complain about the United States while they're here in some other language. Learning English your life will be easier that's all I'm saying
I spent nine years working in a building with Polish speaking cabinet makers. Whenever I walked through their shop, they were speaking Polish to each other. When they wanted to speak to me, they switched to English. No problem.
DeleteOne of the guys was taking English lessons at night because he was older and struggled. On his lunch break he would come into my shop to practice speaking English. I'm glad I was there.
It's a nice piece, Niel.
ReplyDeleteI think you hit one of the biggest issues facing our country these days. The idea that only I can make it. no one but me.
Altruism is key for a healthy functioning society. The right and its supporters will never believe in the common good. That's why they hate education and taxes. It's why they hate laws that "tell them what to do" but are ok with laws that tell everyone else what to do.
A vast majority of Kirk's supporters would have much better lives if they elected progressives. But they refuse to believe anything. We are living in some of the darkest times in history regarding how information is censored and spun. Kirks supporters are proof of that.
God speed to us all
here's how you spell Neil, double b
DeleteThat can't be right. There was no red underline.
DeleteTrue, the people that voted for that person never seem to understand that progressive policies have done so much for them. This idea that you are worse off when someone else benefits too is just so shortsighted. As Paul Wellstone famously used to say, "We all do better when we all do better."
DeleteYou sure give your affluent white neighbors a wide berth when they are honoring a gutter racist. I’ll echo the previous commenter that you and your readers take a look at the Vanity Fair article by TNC.
ReplyDeleteAnonymous, affluence? What makes you affluent? Living in an "affluent" neighborhood doesn't make you a affluent.
DeleteI would define affluent in an affluent neighborhood as being able to afford living in that neighborhood even in the face of personal loss. As owner and not servant.
DeleteIt's not just a sense of grievance, but a profound belief in their own victimhood, and that all those women, blacks, disabled, and other minorities are just exagerrating about how difficult things were (are) for them.
ReplyDeleteNot exactly on point: the Sun-Times printed an obituary today for a 99-year-old woman who had her day in the sun about 10 years ago. She wrote a food column in a local newspaper in North Dakota and had the effrontery to praise an Olive Garden Restaurant there. Foodies came down hard on her at the time, but Anthony Bourdain, of all people, stuck up for her and actually helped her in the publication in book form of some of her more noteworthy newspaper columns. Others also defended her taste in family restaurants as well as her homey style of explication, which apparently she continued without change almost to her dying day.
ReplyDeletetate
I am much like you Neil but at a somewhat lower economic point. We can’t go on a world tour but still eat regularly and have a home to live in. I learned a long time ago to discern the difference between things that affect me and the real world and made up crap. I can’t help but see this as America’s Horst Wessel moment. Used by The Usurper to create more hate and division.
ReplyDeleteI opened your book and you signed this copy. Figured I looked you up! Very cool and realistic to see a real person still writing, with his signature right in front of me. From the wreckage I will rise. Eventually. I need some coffee before anything rises.
ReplyDeleteGood luck with that. One day at a time. Let me know if the book helps. It's designed to.
DeleteMy grandparents immigrated here from Greece. They learned English, but never perfectly. Their son, however, was fluent in both English and Greek. And I am fluent in English and... French (grad school). Every immigrant is on a learning curve regarding English, but their children become fluent in both languages, and their grandchildren will be like me. But here in America, the demand is for everyone here - and abroad - speak English fluently because... too many people won't put in the time and energy even to learn how to say hello, goodbye, thank you, where's the restroom, etc., much less have a conversation. Missing a lot that way. Missing a lot.
ReplyDeleteDid you know that in French "Blessed are the meek" is "Heureux sont les debonnaires". Look it up. It's great.
I wonder what Neil will have to say about ABC taking Kimmel off the air indefinitely. i am guessing that means for good. I wasn't watching b ut this all he seemed to have said. "We hit some new lows over the weekend with the MAGA gang desperately trying to characterize this kid who murdered Charlie Kirk as anything other than one of them and doing everything they can to score political points from it." Implying I assume the Robinson is a MAGA. Apparently he isn't. "We hit some new lows over the weekend with the MAGA gang desperately trying to characterize this kid who murdered Charlie Kirk as anything other than one of them and doing everything they can to score political points from it." From a news report I saw it came out after Kimmel made this remark. However after he said that, they showed a Trump being asked about Kirk. He said something like am good and then pointed to the new addition being added to the White House. Of course conservatives are up in arms and the FCC is threatening to take away ABC's license. https://nypost.com/2025/09/14/us-news/newsday-forced-to-apologize-for-vile-charlie-kirk-political-cartoon-after-igniting-call-for-boycott-crossed-a-line/ or you scroll down you will see a cartoon that every one is upset about. It was drawn by a conservative leaning cartoonist.
ReplyDelete