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| Ian Barford |
We were about to see the Peter Shaffer play "Amadeus," directed by Robert Falls, and with Falls you never know what mayhem is going to be unleashed onstage. One certainly doesn't want to add to the pyrotechnics, unintentionally: "That old man who leapt up with a strangled cry during the quiet monologue and ran gibbering out of the theater — was that part of the show?"
"Take a right," we were instructed. We confronted a blood red corridor and a single red door labeled, "ALL GENDER RESTROOM." The men in front of us tottered in. I began to follow, but my wife froze. She wasn't going in there after them.
I diverted my path, as well. Solidarity. We found a "PRIVATE BATHROOM" tucked to the left, and once we established there were no ominous males lurking inside, I sent her on her way and returned to the brave new world awaiting me — well, not so new; Steppenwolf was remodeled in 2021. But I hadn't been there since then. COVID kneecapped my habit of going places and doing things, aided, I suppose, by gathering senescence.
What do you expect in a bathroom? Urinals, correct, if you're a man? Stalls with toilets in them? Ah, ha-ha-ha. There was none of that. A blank white corridor that seemed like a set from "2001: A Space Odyssey." I walked the length, found myself among the sinks, figured — hoped — that I'd missed something, that these weren't the new sink/toilets I hadn't yet heard about. So turned and tried a metal door handle I'd missed. Success!
Something new. But a change that can be adjusted to. I've never felt the overpowering bathroom shame that seems a major force in American politics. Then again, I've traveled internationally, which is fatal to such prejudices. I remember standing at a urinal in Tokyo, hat in hand, so to speak, when a grandmotherly cleaning lady with rubber gloves and a bucket came in, knelt and began to scrub the floor, almost at my feet. What can you do at that point but shrug and proceed? The sort of cultural enrichment one roams the globe to experience.
Then again, I'm a connoisseur of unease. On the drive in, I'd mused over the shocks that Falls has presented in the — geez — 40 years I've been seeing his shows, since Aidan Quinn slowly spray-painted, "To be or not to be" on a brick wall onstage at the Wisdom Bridge Theatre in 1985, turned to the audience, jerked his thumb at the dripping red paint, and said, "That's the question!"
Full-frontal nudity, as in the "The Tempest." Gloucester's gouged-out eyes sizzling on a grill, from "King Lear." And the zenith of Falls' theater-as-a-thumb-jammed-in-the-audience's-eye splintery-stick-to-jam-up-the-audience's-backside directorial style, the surprise stabbing of Isabella at the end of "Measure for Measure." I thought patrons were going to rush the stage. The Goodman had to hold formal "conversations" immediately after each show, which were really just therapy sessions designed to help the audience find the strength to leave the theater and go about their lives.
"Amadeus" seemed fresh meat for Falls, with the pompous, plodding Vienna court composer, Antonio Salieri, passing judgment on the giggling, carnal man-boy Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. What Grand Guignol thrills were in store?
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So your wife is uncomfortable sharing a bathroom with men. Maybe that is how many female high school students feel if a boy was requesting to use their locker room.
ReplyDeletebingo
DeleteHave you ever encountered a trans person?
DeleteHave you ever met a female high school student who shares a locker room or bathroom with a trans woman?
Or do you spend too much time with Fox News?
Or worse yet, real female hs athletes getting hurt from a male being female person in sports. Even with estrogen, the bones are thicker or heavier. Ask paleontologists and orthoped. surgeons. Or losing out on a scholarship to one. That's a bridge too far. One doesn't have to be a Trumpster or rel. conserv. to think that. What happens to women's rights and gains in sports?
ReplyDeleteKinda missing the point here. Question: does your concern for girls athletics extend BEYOND the possible negative effect of trans athletes? Didn't think so.
DeleteWhat about female athletes getting hurt by larger female athletes? I haven't heard much about that.
DeleteI understand that some people would like privacy when they use the bathroom. Public restrooms can be designed to accommodate this. it's more expensive to construct them but it seems reasonable to not want to use a restroom where people of the opposite sex are present. Even with the more private enclosures pictured.
DeleteSchools and athletic facilities don't seem to strive for privacy at least in the men's locker rooms and bathrooms of which I'm familiar.
Never having been in a females facility. At least not when they're open for use I have done some construction work in hotel and institutional facilities.
As far as trans athletes it seems like they can be accommodated while not causing discomfort to females using if not the same but part of the same facility again it's just more expensive.
We've gotten used to the notion that ADA bathrooms are law and they need to be provided. Seems like there's a solution to the bathroom situation if everybody just kind of calms down
When it comes to competition my son's played various sports and there were always people bigger faster and stronger than they were it's part of the landscape of Athletics. It's dangerous for the smaller slower weaker boys and sometimes they get hurt by some giant guy
You just have to accept it in most sports. some balance for weight like wrestling there's various levels of sports that balance for age
When I played Semi-Pro baseball there were some female college athletes that competed with the men.
When the tables are turned and people who have transitioned from men to women are mixed in with female athletes a lot of times they're bigger faster and stronger.
You're not always the winner sometimes somebody beats you and sometimes you get hurt if that person used to be a man but is now a woman you just have to try harder.
Athletics is just such a special case in the social circumstances of young people sometimes scholarships are attached well sometimes somebody else gets the scholarship and not you it's not fair but life's not fair.
It should be as Fair as we can make it for everybody including trans people.
Maybe a third designation and all trans people would play against each other in sports. This seems unlikely as there really aren't that many trans people and only a portion of them play sports they could kind of get left out that way.
I don't know but through reasoned consideration maybe things could be worked out.
Women are concerned seemingly justifiably that they'll get the short end of the stick like they used to and they don't want that so is it solely on them to sacrifice?
Like I say I don't know
Love those Steinbergian ripostes!
DeleteI will never understand the anti trans arguments for sports. If you've ever watched a game of American Football, its clear that the better team doesn't always win. Why? Because the games are unfair. Ghost penalties, missed calls, the wind screwed you over, the ball takes a weird hop, the sun causes a drop. Things happen... that's life.
DeleteBarry bonds still has records, he used steroids. Shoe less Joe Jackson isn't in the hall of fame because he "cheated." no ones really sure he did.
You didn't win a race because of a trans athlete? you lost out on a scholarship because of a trans athlete? Maybe you just aren't as good as you think you are... and that's ok. if it comes down to one single trans athlete beating you... it's probably not the issue you think it is.
And i would much rather share a stall with a trans athlete than 99% of the people that share their birth sex with mine.
Seems to me like the people who call everyone snowflakes are actually the snowflakes.
Coey: Because it's not really about athletics. Just as the drive against undocumented immigrants isn't about law. Bullies are cowards, and always have a REASON. What amazes me is how much serious consideration we give their bullshit reasons. Worrying about trans athletes is like analyzing the number of Jewish bankers.
DeleteIt's opposite world here. My former gym had female attendants cleaning locker rooms during regular hours with me and other penis holders in various stages of undress and redress.
DeleteNot wanting a false accusation, I quit that gym. Reverse the thinking and it's unacceptable risk.
Anonymous at 8:43 writes: "One doesn't have to be a Trumpster or rel. conserv. to think that."
DeleteWhile that may be true, I would suggest that one DOES have to be a "Trumpster," or a somewhat misguided individual to vote for a fascist, his many detrimental policies, and the most blatantly incompetent administration in history because of one's concern about this issue. Yes, it's very important to some (trans people, for instance -- NOT voters who think trans people are icky), but in the overall scheme of things, it's way down the list of things that should be determining what needs to be done in this country.
The fact that the "She's for they/them, he's for you" campaign ads were evidently effective is so depressing. "She" was for helping everybody she could, so, indeed, she WAS for they/them, as well as for you. But "he" is, was, and has always been for nobody but himself. How people can't see that boggles the mind, since it's been obvious for decades.
Meanwhile, that was a fine, thoughtful comment at 9:49, Franco.
Mr Steinberg I'm not sure where you came up with this notion that all bullies are cowards if you had any dealings with bullies you'd find out that a lot of them are pretty tough and they'll kick your ass.
DeleteGiving people advice to stand up to bullies because they're cowards seems like bad advice steer clear of bullies don't call them out on their b******* because you could be on the receiving end of a beatdown
Cowardice, such as "submit to bullies so you don't get hurt" — your argument in a nutshell — is rarely defended. So points for the attempt. Still, no cigar.
DeleteCoey, you are comparing apples and oranges.
DeleteMr Steinberg if we could all be as courageous as you and stand up to the bullies no regard for our own well-being I'm glad you do it every day every goddamn day
DeleteI'm always embarrassed and nervous when using an all gender bathroom. Not for any reason other than the fact that I am embarrassed and ashamed at my visage and the sounds and smells that my body produces while in the bathroom.
ReplyDeleteIt's also not lost on me how uncomfortable it makes other people.
I also judge the people i see in bathrooms. Didn't wash your hands? Peed all over the floor? Didn't flush? Cut in line? Talked on your cell phone? If you've never been into the "mens" room durring a sporting event
I am always nervous and worried when i use an all genders bathroom. But that's mostly because I'm well aware of my own visage and the sounds and smells I produce. There is something comforting knowing that the only people who can hear or see you are those that are not going to be interested in you. Though that's a stupid assumption. I suppose that's what society has conditioned me to think.
ReplyDeleteNo hand washing, no flushing, talking on speaker phone, peeing on the floor, dropping your garbage anywhere, cutting in line, being an asshole (instead of using yours); If you've ever been to the "mens" room at a sporting event, you'll see the worst of what we as humans are with our public spaces.
Though, I would expect the users of the bathroom at a theater (when you're there for a play) would treat the facilities much kinder.
As your piece so masterfully spins from bathroom discomfort to the brilliance on stage I think we can all learn something from this version of Salieri... it's not about us, its about the other. We should make the other feel safe and comfortable, even if that means we have to defecate next to the opposite sex. After all, its just a bodily function, and you're not there to help them wipe.
But that's just me...
No hand washing, no flushing, talking on speaker phone, peeing on the floor, dropping your garbage anywhere, cutting in line, being an asshole (instead of using yours); Love that last one. Gonna steal it sometime if the need arises. Sounds like you've been to a few sports venues.
DeleteIn the old ballparks...Boston, Cleveland, Detroit, Comiskey, Wrigley...men pissed into metal troughs, and their aim was not always true. Sometimes the rubes from St. Louis and elsewhere mistook Wrigley's circular sinks for urinals, especially if they'd consumed too many Old Styles or Buds. Probably still the same, especially for openers and on big weekends.
The signs on the doors matter less and less as I get older and it gets harder to hold my water. Literally. Men, women, all-sex, unisex, changing rooms, employees only...when you gotta go, you gotta go. Especially in geezerhood. Have used the women's room when nobody was there, and I have even run into the parking lot a couple of times. Sometimes, that's not close enough.
The diaper jokes about Felonious are less amusing now. I'm only a year younger. Hope I never need those, but I may have to start using the pee pads soon. Any day now.
The "anons" 7:27 and 8:43 (two stellar examples of both reasoning and anonymous courage) bringto mindthe reason for not playing chess with a seagull.
ReplyDeleteI somehow didn’t think the remarks above related to the point of your article.
ReplyDeleteOnly critique: the headline, uncharacteristically, kinda stepped on any surprise value in the narrative. Surprise, by not surprising?
The Front Bar, adjoining the main theater lobby at Steppenwolf, evidently opened in 2016. That was the first place I ever encountered an all-gender restroom, which I utilized with no qualms. That bathroom looked nothing like the one in your photo, however. I don't know when that occurred, but it was before the pandemic, because we haven't quite made it back to the Steppenwolf since seeing the production of "Bug" on March 11, 2020 that ended up being their last before the shutdown.
ReplyDeleteI'm pretty sure I commented about the restroom after we'd been there, though I can't find it, of course. At the time, it seemed like it was on the cutting-edge.
"COVID kneecapped my habit of going places and doing things, aided, I suppose, by gathering senescence." That was much more true for us than for us than for you, NS, but we have attended MEDEA at Lyric Opera and a fine concert with Muti, the CSO and a classical guitarist (Pablo Sáinz-Villegas) in the past month or so. I think the first dramatic play we saw since 2020 was "Royko" at the Chopin Theater last year. As I recall, you weren't too impressed with that one.
A Robert Falls-directed "Amadeus" is something we'd have definitely seen in the past. Will we see this production? I really don't know.
To get back to The Tempest, as opposed to the tempest-in-a-teapot bathroom issue, we were fairly new to Chicago when a friend gave us their Goodman tickets to the Tempest. I blinked a couple of times and definitely realized we weren't in Kansas, or even Detroit, anymore. It was exhilarating.
ReplyDeletebut Franco, it's different if you are just comparing smaller boys competing with bigger ones, and not as unfair
ReplyDeleteYes it is different and still relatively new certainly wasn't happening when I was a kid.
DeleteDegrees of fairness are very difficult to determine but we know the world's not fair people come up against other people and circumstances which they can simply not overcome you can't get rid of it all.
I remember a book by Kurt Vonnegut I can't say which one it was and people with good eyesight had to wear glasses that blurted and people that were strong had to carry sandbags around with them but it was some kind of a satire maybe cat's cradle
And by the way, as a registered Democrat who hates Dump, kids shouldn't get sex changes till they are 18. Yes, I know the right lies saying they are pushing this in public schools, not so and homeschooling is not the answer.That's for the religious nuts. But if my child can't take a tylenol in school without a note from me, then so be it.
ReplyDeleteWell said, Franco As for bullying, sometimes it does hurt a company, a poll worker, people at the Capitol, universities, opponent cause they often do have to cave to Dump. He doesn't back down and can hurt.
ReplyDelete