If orchids vaguely frighten you — and I find them creepy — there's good reason. Orchids are saprophytic; that is, they obtain their food from decaying organic matter. Other plants, usually. But your rotting body would serve in a pinch.
Orchids are also deceitful. The flowers of certain species mimic territorial enemies of bees. There's a great term for this, "pseudoantagonism," as opposed to the all-too-real-antagonism we humans experience. With the pseudo version, male bees strike at the insect-imitating petals, trying to drive the illusionary foe off, getting pollen on themselves in the process. Other orchids mimic the smell of nectar that isn't actually there, and hungry bees root around, looking for it, getting dusted with pollen in the process before flying off, disappointed.
Orchids are also deceitful. The flowers of certain species mimic territorial enemies of bees. There's a great term for this, "pseudoantagonism," as opposed to the all-too-real-antagonism we humans experience. With the pseudo version, male bees strike at the insect-imitating petals, trying to drive the illusionary foe off, getting pollen on themselves in the process. Other orchids mimic the smell of nectar that isn't actually there, and hungry bees root around, looking for it, getting dusted with pollen in the process before flying off, disappointed.
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| Slipper orchid |
Despite orchids' seedy reputation and behavior, my wife and I, being faithful, card-carrying members of the Chicago Botanic Garden, go every February to see the CBG light up the mid-winter darkness with their annual Orchid Show. This year's, "Feelin' Groovy," has a 1960s theme, and while perhaps not as natural a pairing as last year's marriage to subcontinental India, is not bad either. When was the last time you saw a yellow Volkswagen Beetle?
Orchids are all about inclusivity — they're found all over the globe, including four species above the Arctic Circle. Some grow on bare rocks — several species grow on cacti. They're associated with the tropics, but several species thrive in deserts, and the environment you'd expect them in most, rain forests, are not really best for orchids.
They're luxurious plants, mostly good only for show or, in the disapproving words of the Encyclopedia Britannica, "the family is notably lacking in species from which products are derived."
With one big exception — vanilla, extracted from Vanilla planifolia. Found in Madagascar, Mexico, Indonesia, various Pacific Islands and ... wait for it ... Puerto Rico, which I emphasize because, well, Puerto Rico is having its moment in the spotlight, are they not? Enjoying the same Bad Bunny Bounce that caused Democrats to hope that we aren't as royally fucked as we seemed to be last week.
Orchids are all about inclusivity — they're found all over the globe, including four species above the Arctic Circle. Some grow on bare rocks — several species grow on cacti. They're associated with the tropics, but several species thrive in deserts, and the environment you'd expect them in most, rain forests, are not really best for orchids.
They're luxurious plants, mostly good only for show or, in the disapproving words of the Encyclopedia Britannica, "the family is notably lacking in species from which products are derived."
With one big exception — vanilla, extracted from Vanilla planifolia. Found in Madagascar, Mexico, Indonesia, various Pacific Islands and ... wait for it ... Puerto Rico, which I emphasize because, well, Puerto Rico is having its moment in the spotlight, are they not? Enjoying the same Bad Bunny Bounce that caused Democrats to hope that we aren't as royally fucked as we seemed to be last week.
Still, I think vanilla is a big enough deal to make the Britannica's "notably lacking" a little unfair. That's almost like saying wood is not good for any practical use beyond building houses ... and furniture. And paper. And cardboard. Okay, not quite like saying that at all.
Not many orchids this year presented an appearance I consider "The Screaming Baby Face," which is good because ...
Oh hell. Okay, confession time. The only reason I'm writing these words is to have something to frame my photos of the Orchid Show, "Feelin' Groovy," which runs until March 22. That mission is accomplished. Tickets to the show are $16 if you are an adult living in Cook County, and $16 if you don't live in Cook County, which makes me wonder why the Botanic Garden makes the distinction at all. Plus $9 per person to get into the Botanic Garden itself. And $10 parking.
If that seems like a lot, remember: annual memberships start at $141 for an individual. It's worth it. We go dozens of times a year. The answer to the question, "Should we go to the Botanic Garden is alway, always, always, "Yes!" Even when there are orchids.
I learned a lot about orchids & also forgot most of it from reading the Nero Wolfe novels.
ReplyDeleteThese are beautiful pictures
ReplyDeleteI have long been interested in native orchids of which there are 49 in Illinois. Of those, 17 are threatened or endangered. Because so many are very rare, especially in the Chicago area, it is such a treat and privilege to find them. Not only are so many lovely, but their presence means the ground you are sharing with them is also very special, having avoided the human caused changes that mark most of our landscapes.
ReplyDeleteYour editor missed your typo. It’s deserts not desserts. From a reader in the desert!!
ReplyDeleteMy editor? Ah, hahahahaha. What does Jake Barnes say? "Pretty to think so." Fixed now, thanks.
DeletePardon another typo correction, but it's Volkswagen, not Volkswagon.
DeleteClark St. is right to mention Nero Wolfe as a huge (literally) fan of orchids, but to get the full effect, you have to seek out the Old-Time Radio broadcast series of Nero Wolfe mysteries from 1950-51. It's worth it just to hear Sydney Greenstreet rumbling those Latin plant names (in between somebody getting murdered, of course).
No apologies EVER necessary for correcting a typo. All I ask — humbly request — is that the correction be delivered with a minimum of AHA-YOU-ERR-GOT-YOU! snark. Fixed now.
DeleteHere's a kick in the ass -- I worked on cars my entire adult life, and I never noticed that Volkswagen is spelled with an "e". Maybe because we all referred to them as VW.
DeleteFar out, man.
ReplyDeleteThere's something restorative about entering a large room of flowers in the dead of winter. By February, I think I appreciate the humidified air as much as the bouquet. I sometimes visit the Garfield Park Conservatory (free to Chicago residents, $10 for non-Chicagoans, $5 for senior non-Chicagoans) just for a spiritual recharge. It's wonderful there, but Chicago Botanical Garden's special exhibits are spectacular and well-worth the visit. CBG has a reciprocal arrangement with the Morton Arboretum - free admission but I think you have to pay for parking as a reciprocal visitor.
ReplyDeleteIts interesting that orchids grow under such diverse conditions. You'd never know it by my track record of trying to keep them as houseplants.
My estranged could do magical things with orchids. She never touched them.
DeleteWatered them with a small sliver of ice
In a window with a shaded Southern exposure.
They would Bloom year after year
I was paying attention cuz I thought: I could do this.
She laughed and left .they were all dead within 6 months
Re: yellow beetle question. 3 months ago when my 74 yr old in-law travelled 2 states over to buy a new yellow volkswagen beetle safely housed until winter finally leaves because "No road salt is touching this baby!"
ReplyDeleteI like when you say pretty to think so:
ReplyDeleteWhen I hear about orchids, I mostly think of Bill Veeck, and the 1948 Cleveland Indians. Ladies Day proved to women that they could come to the Cleveland ballpark and have a good time, and Veeck believed, correctly, that they would become regular paying customers.
ReplyDeleteHe orchestrated promotions like the Princess Aloha Orchid Night, handing out orchids to the first 20,000 female fans. The flowers were flown directly to Cleveland from Hawaii. This was back in the pre-jet era, and flying those flowers 5,000 miles cost him a pretty penny.
Veeck's efforts paid off in increased attendance. Cleveland won the World Series and drew 2.6 million fans that season, which was then an all-time record. That figure was not eclipsed until the Dodgers did it in 1962,
“Tickets to the show are $16 ... Plus $9 per person to get in.” What do the tickets get you, if not in?
ReplyDeleteInto the Botanic Garden. I'll make that clear.
Delete