Know your enemy: buckthorn

Fear it.

     I had more fun with my column on Arbor Day than a person should probably have while getting paid. The first draft ran 30 percent long, and I had to leave a few interesting bits on the cutting room floor. Hallmark and American Greetings do not sell Arbor Day cards, as far as I can tell — I cut that first, as it's hard to prove a negative, and figured I was inviting someone to wave their some undetected Hugs for Trees series under my nose.
    Beer companies also do up the holiday — I checked because initially I said they didn't, then thought: "Better find out." The following was trimmed from the end of the first graph:

     A few small local beer companies make an effort — Yards Brewing in Philadelphia has "ArBrew Day," giving away free saplings and beer. But the big boys stand pat, waiting for Memorial Day. A pity. I'd like to see Angry Orchard do it up right. "Slam a cold hard cider for the trees that made it!"

     One of the Arbor Day tips I suggested was this:

     Learn what buckthorn is — an aggressively invasive tree, illegal in Illinois to buy, sell or plant, that will crowd out the entirety of nature if we let it — and carefully pull the next sprout you see.

     But I couldn't imagine anyone actually doing it.
     The only lawful way to plant buckthorn is if you get a permit and are studying improved ways to kill it. Once buckthorn takes hold, you can't pull it, you have to dig it out. I try to get an early jump. I walked my yard yesterday, for the second time this spring, doing buckthorn suppression. I must have dug out 25 buckthorn sprouts. Their roots race to the center of the earth and if you wait until they're six inches tall they can be devilishly hard to extract. When we bought this property, 25 years ago, the northeast corner of our yard had buckthorn trees 15 feet tall, and without constant vigilance, they'll be back in no time. Friday I took out a tree that had hidden inside a large bush that was easily seven feet tall, with thorns an inch long (they call it buckthorn for a reason). Some of my neighbors down the block still have buckthorn hedges, decades old, and while I have considered stopping by with a gas can and wordlessly setting them on fire, that would be wrong. The birds gobble their berries and poop the seeds in my yard. Sadly, buckthorns are not illegal to own, though that would be a logical next step if any legislator wants to take the hint. We're in a war and buckthorn is winning.