tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3972382144120426476.post7595349013446972352..comments2024-03-28T12:46:54.004-05:00Comments on Every goddamn day: 03/28/24: Paul Vallas, man of mysteryNeil Steinberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11468057838260476480noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3972382144120426476.post-72293229760081116272023-02-12T22:06:27.736-06:002023-02-12T22:06:27.736-06:00I have been married most of my adult life. Startin...I have been married most of my adult life. Starting at 21 when I married a singer.<br />For the last 17 years I've been married to a woman who has lived in California, Ohio and Door county WI. When not living with me in Chicago. We've raised three boys together along with her ex and mine , my middle wife and mother to my sons and her new partner<br />Not to mention gramas from both sides. <br />While it may not have been a village it was at least a traveling road show.<br /><br />It was very common for immigrants to have one member of the family come first settle in and bring the wife and kids later.<br /><br />Traditional marriage is only that way for some folks. The rest of us won't hold it against y'all Franconoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3972382144120426476.post-21947972589597062872023-02-12T20:05:12.279-06:002023-02-12T20:05:12.279-06:00Whatever works for you, or for any couple...marrie...Whatever works for you, or for any couple...married or otherwise. My cousin and his wife of forty years now live forty miles apart. She spent 35 years in a tiny, isolated, backwater town in the Carolinas, a place she never really liked, and where she made few friends. This big-city girl (Detroit) just couldn't hack it anymore. <br /><br />So now he has the big house in the boonies all to himself and his dog, far away from any city. He doesn't care for cities. Meanwhile, she's enjoying the cultural amenities (and their son and their grandchild) in an urban area. They'll probably share their summer place up North, though. He claims it wasn't anything that he did...she just got fed up with the "hix in the stix.". And with becoming one.<br /><br /> When you're 70 and your health is in decline and time grows short, you've got to do what your heart tells you to do. If that includes separate beds, bedrooms, houses, or cities...so be it. As Billie Holiday sang: "Ain't nobody's business..." Grizz 65https://www.blogger.com/profile/02892702223228764894noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3972382144120426476.post-36653706424502867072023-02-12T12:47:44.444-06:002023-02-12T12:47:44.444-06:00My husband and I lived separately for some time. H...My husband and I lived separately for some time. He wanted to retire early and we bought a place in the state I’m from, IL. He settled there and I continued teaching in CA until I was ready to retire. This worked out in many practical ways. I can see how, and why it would work within the framework of some marriages. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3972382144120426476.post-20566896190121328222023-02-12T11:42:05.761-06:002023-02-12T11:42:05.761-06:00Remember the scene in "Mean Girls" where...Remember the scene in "Mean Girls" where one of the characters keeps trying to introduce the word "fetch" as some sort of slang, until Rachel McAdams, the queen bee mean girl, snaps at her, "Stop trying to make 'fetch' happen! It's not going to happen!""<br /><br />To me, Paul Vallas is the "fetch" of Chicago politics. Certain journalists, pundits and others keep inexplicably trying to make him happen. He's not going to happen.Bitter Scribenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3972382144120426476.post-57474034385103751102023-02-12T11:39:17.614-06:002023-02-12T11:39:17.614-06:00Paul Vallas? Seriously? He's still alive and k...Paul Vallas? Seriously? He's still alive and kicking? He was the municipal budget director when I still lived in Chicago, and I've been gone for thirty years. <br /><br />Paul Vallas has held "crisis administrator" jobs (and lived) in three other states (CT, LA, PA) and he's run for seemingly every elected office in Illinois except dog catcher. Now this perennial candidate has moved back to Chicago...to Bridgeport, no less...the cradle of Chicago mayors...to once again run for its highest office? <br /><br />This guy isn't only a hired gun, he's a carpetbagger. Worse still, his past ties to the Chicago PD and to Republican causes, especially his anti-choice views, cast serious doubts on his claims of being a "lifelong Democrat." More like an opportunist who blows with the prevailing wind.<br /><br />Four years ago, in the mayoral primary, Vallas placed ninth out of fourteen candidates, receiving 30,236 votes (5.43% of the votes cast). I know zilch about the other seven challengers for Mayor Lightfoot's job, so I have no dog in this fight. But I believe Chicagoans can do better than Paul Vallas...and that they will. Grizz 65https://www.blogger.com/profile/02892702223228764894noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3972382144120426476.post-19827436982232291362023-02-12T08:00:00.107-06:002023-02-12T08:00:00.107-06:00Also posted on your FB page; hope the double post ...Also posted on your FB page; hope the double post is OK and please delete if not. Thanks! Well told as always. When I was a kid I thought the Heart '❤️' Chicago Motel was where my folks had their honeymoon. We lived on Ridge and drove past it often, and I made that story up in my head the way kids do. Or in the way I did. Turns out their honeymoon was at a much nicer hotel, on LSD. Regarding Mr. Vallas and his "arrangement," it's much more common than folks realize. I am not saying that I know the content of his character, but the living separately thing does not ring bells for me. There are many, many divorces in the US because of the conflict and lack of effective communication in marriages, or perhaps deception when the truth would be more mature, and wiser. Countless couples are in non-traditional marriages that work very well for them, or they are not married but have very close friendships and financial arrangements with a partner who cannot/does not meet their needs in other ways. Dan Savage puts out a podcast that sheds light on the many ways people express themselves intimately in relationships, and Neil Sattin's Relationship Alive is for couples who want to learn how to discuss difficult topics and keep a marriage healthy for those who do not have the skills or maturity. Again, it seems Mr. Vallas might be "complicated" and I don't know what that means, but I do know that Chicago needs help and I hope someone can steer the ship effectively to avoid another Edmund Fitzgerald situation. It's not Chicago's fault that we are crime ridden (thanks NRA, institutionalized racism, intersectionality, corruption, lack of schooling, etc), but a good captain is what we need. https://www.nytimes.com/2022/12/10/style/living-apart-together-marriage.html?unlocked_article_code=A7JSfhgJKrXvORMGZQC2jxsyAR80lVSuEkowUneoaFJoSIEseEijA0kITGzCSR8doMPOpoGwCZfPRZCKCbZ2TACIGE6a8M4ez6ntMkP4OeRR-HBZap47SZjYEUCqaxHE1KXUOTBfcd4_VQZzL4JteB6IInIZ4KgkAnnqC1YoaUD7ODbe96tFndrlFtf-tiHR0I_JnFmNi4H9Yx1o8D0gy7ojGtOpdggECiDscqqQabwJbX1W6Lt7R4Xg53v1xePYqyr4Qrhz5wkGThXknh2BZ4-up8tbJWL8qlkNi6ofU_g74TIVqSJdOXWI9FeJUYWgY2ktJOs6o84j1Inr7jxj2fEscy17xg&smid=share-urlCarennoreply@blogger.com