Thursday, August 13, 2020

"This is how they operate."


By Paul Cabet (Musee d'Orsay)
     Over a year ago, I wrote about "targeted individuals"—people who are convinced that they are being followed, harassed, experimented upon by shadowy forces: coordinated teams of strangers, satellites, shadowy government forces. You might think that the idea that passing aircraft are watching you is crazy. They do not.
    Since then, I have received regular emails from such individuals. Some mistake my soft tone as sympathy, and share their situations. Others assume I'm vastly fascinated with the topic and load me with information. Some detect my skepticism and object that they are being wronged. 
     Then there is this email, received Wednesday, which expresses all of that, and more. I'm sharing it, through the miracle of cut-and-paste technology. I'm not expecting you to read the entire thing. I certainly didn't, and in that case it is the first thing I've posted here without actually reading it all, for reasons that will become clear if, as I did, you try to do exactly that. I imagine that you'll start with good intentions, and at one point skim, then abandon the effort. 
     An actual caustic hard ass would just shrug and move on. Alas, that's only a pose with me. I thought carefully about my reply. Sometimes I write back with a version of Prof. LaPorte's stinging question: "What is it about you that makes a congress of agencies want to keep tabs on you?" They never answer. This time I wrote something heartfelt, designed to help. Naturally, I never heard back so I assume the effort was wasted. But I did try to help her in the best way I knew how, and I think that counts for something. 
    I'll shield her name, for her sake. LC writes:

Sad you blame the victims in your story who are suffer total social ousting, if you did your job sir you'd find out those of us this is happening to had very wonderfully normal lives before someone very powerful stole it out from under us. These people love that no one defends or believes us as it gives them power to harm more one by one. What if I had recorded evidence of what these people do? What if I told you I caught very unethical behaviors going on to show how far they will treat you? Its funny how many articles like yours drown out horrific things happening to many people you mock in disbelief and silence its due to our country having zero outlets of places we can report incidences to that really take the report seriously, that really research anything being said as for all we know there may be no honest people at the top of our media or any other agency who isnt part of this horrific domineering issue. I am a videographer, I also wrote a column for 3-4 years, I was blessed with many talents but I was born onto something no one should be and I assure you sir Im not nor have ever been crazy. I was born in CA, I learned recently about a DNA researcher who was injecting things into babies in 1966-68. In 1958 just prior you can find the very document that started this project signed by John McCain and Travelers insurance. Its a public government document that would shock Americans if they ever really decided to listen for a change to those of us whose lives are being decimated, I also have videos of how they are sending signaling late at night hovering over specific neighborhoods and there is on record stories that support using radio frequencies to harm military personnel and they killed a government official down in South America, but of course the stories quickly are told then forgotten. They have to have GPS signaling from one device that had an end receiver, its a known hazard of attack for military after navy ships were hit by their enemies, but the unsuspecting public blames those of us who know all this with falsified labels the medical doctors push to explain away all the physical damages. Well I have a surgeon talking about it on tape, its disgusting, they see the damages in you and they sit there nonchalantly speaking about it like its no big deal after you've been crippled into poverty status from painful attacks that are ruining your organs one by one. There excuse is upper management doesn't allow them to investigate further its against company regulations. The doctors get sloppy though, every once in awhile you get documents your not suppose to have but then what they do is force you in threats until they can get them back and destroy it, my phone, computer its constantly being controlled and hacked you can find the tracking files in the back end of the OS and system files but Im not so good at IT as I don't know C++ but I aim to learn it some day so I can get rid of the files I don't have permissions to delete but I sure in hell know why they are there. After Obamacare there was a change in lab requirements at the CDC, it made labs chosen for population research studies exempt for regular policies. If you are harmed as a citizen labs and doctors do NOT have to report anything to the patient not even if it causes terminal illnesses. So until you sir do more than merely make a judgement against those of us fighting for our health these people ruin as well as our chance to survive in the real world you have done a severe injustice in your reporting. In my case Cleveland Clinic caused vile harm, those of us sick we are funneled into a program called QMB, my disability judgment I had attorney present was totally violated, they found a way to take everything the judge granted away from me through lousy doctors and state officials who only pose to be interested in helping you to find out what you have as evidence they need silenced forever. This is when you phones are tapped, you might come home with your door open or your gate might explain to you people are getting in you don't know or authorize. There's a lot of ways they operate. It worldwide network and they operate through a religion. They've managed to get into our schools, our local police, several cutting edge technology companies that then got bids for important satellite and government security programs. Once your on the list you never get off and they own the legal system so its impossible to find an attorney to help defend you. If I do a search with entering my information on Bar Associations I get a message "you are not authorized to access" same thing happens if I try and retrieve medical history but its only with the doctors who are taking part, the problem is our devices and searches are being heavily controlled by these same organizations and believe me I can prove every last thing Im saying here, so I know when you ignore this email and pass me off for crazy why. See people like you and the moral majority cant imagine much of anything if its not you its happening to but its your ignorance and lack of interest to do real research that will allow the rest of us to be victimized over and over again. We cant even tell our stories to anyone in the age of online police patrolling....  why? Why are words silenced today, why are people so afraid of truth? So you understand clearly Im sending you a second email with photos of the damages I live in day in and day out and so you clearly understand how much these people take, you give me an address sir I have recordings, videos, and major supporting documents to support every damn thing Ive tried to be heard on since my government decided to run aerosol testing over my neighborhood then refuse proper metals testing for 6 years so I now am battling the

beginning stages of small cancerous masses forming all over my body while my doctors play paddy cake, tictoc and allow us to die under COVID hoax, and Im not saying people aren't sick from COVID, Im saying people would be outraged if they really knew the truth. If you think your safe, you aren't, everyone is dispendable here, if you're untouched its merely luck. In my case I have a rare blood type they don't understand which makes me a real find for experimentation and believe me I can tell you sheer horror stories of what they've already done. Most of us just want justice, we want the right to live without harassment and restrictions, we want the torture to stop. Im pretty sure I will die at the hands of these people. As of this moment my disability was cut off, been refused legal representation, they tried to empty my bank accounts through Chase, but when that didn't succeed they cut off my debit card I use at a time my rent was due and I needed a rental car from being rear ended, I don't trust my family after my father drug me down the road intentionally then lied to cops stating I jumped out. I actually felt unsafe in the car as they threatened me so I announced I was getting out at a stop sign, the injuries I suffered were unforgivable. Yeah my father was AF, German decent, ex Bill Gates IBM. The lack of support and what I consider sheer sabotage of my life let doctors know I was open target for experimentation, they've, destroyed my GI system, partially collapsed my lungs, given me heart damage, and have left me with masses forming in my liver, gallbladder, right lung, neck, and I just got two more painful ones that formed down left arm. Heparin bleeding then weaken my abdominal/pelvic region so I have two hernias Ive been refused surgery for so I keep retaining toxins, if you want to experience life in hell well Im living it. Then my dad just somehow trashes the backend of my car and deserts the situation. I have a classic Del Sol, loved this car, very reliable transportation on a below poverty income my government strapped me to illegally. I should be receiving SSI and SSDI this was my legal judgement, but never seen a dime of it after paying an attorney 6k to defend a health issue even the supporting pulmonary doctor announced to the judge and me crying that I would NEVER get better. Even I had more hope then that so it was horrifying to be sentenced into all this with zero sympathy to acknowledge I was listening in the room. See they knew what I was being exposed to, it took me several years to understand the weight of what this doctor knew that was at the time being hidden from me. So my insurance gets odd, starts stalling, their collision center trashed my car further than refuses to fix a simple loose bumper and I spent 1700 in my draining last of funds account only to get a call after weeks no one was going to fix it. The collision center tries to keep my entire bumper as he knew he pumped up the costs to let insurance do a false totaled claim, my car is a highly priced collectors item and they can cash in on the parts or soup it up for resale, either way me as the non responsible party gets screwed. No damages happened to the person who hit me who then cant once again tell the truth , once again Im the problem. Was shocked my dad even was given a traffic citation and they didn't lie and hand it to me instead. So the day I remind my Travelers Insurance (you know the company that signed the 1958 John McCain bill for population research under fake green projects), they first send me to Enterprise where I was denied a rental for reasons not explained, then even though my insurance policy states I should be reimbursed a 5 day rental, they used the denied rental as a way not to honor my policy and I pay instead with my dwindling reverse Im watching go fast due to stripping out my disability income I counted on for living on, then I go to pay and learn my bank shut off my debit card just coincidentally at the same time my family has stopped supporting me as they forced me to move after my home of 5 years was taken away due to my failing health. Then the day I get my bumper returned, Im referred to a new collision center who proceeds to ask if they can take the tension bar and another piece from my trunk, I said "well after last collision center tried to steal my entire bumper yes I do mind." He snaps out "well I cant help you then." I should of left with that remark, but I fell for the "well I need them to check on my computer for correct parts." Sadly these parts were in perfect condition, he never brought them back out, when i asked for them back before leaving after he sat down grinning while telling me he was no longer going to fix my car, he used the while "oh your so pretty I tell you what let me hang onto it longer and ill try and find the pieces you need." So I learn that if i file my claim I needed those pieces in order to pass inspections for the salvage title. I cant afford my rent, in 5 months my funds will be gone so I can't qualify for a car loan. Same day a certified letter arrives from my pcp, claiming I have psychological illness, I cant get legal counsel, are you understanding the set up these people have accomplished in two short months? This is how they operate, its a whole network and as Chase told me as I called to get back my account they illegally tried to take, "we did this because we can....click!" Im currently trying to buy cheap land but I am totally broke in 5 months and so far no one will let me see the land I can afford, weeks go buy and they gleefully tell me oh I just sold that today. Im not allowed a car, land, home, loans, low income housing, employment (I have chronic open wounds Ive been told its a company liability issue), they wont let me apply for food stamps or fix my disability/Medicaid they took from me. The whole time doctors try and force QMB where they have full control of who you see and what they do, its live lab rat human experimentation, but no one cares no one!

I replied:


Dear Ms. C.:

     Later this morning, I'm visiting someone I think of as my "alcohol guy"—a counselor who specializes in addiction. I've been visiting him regularly for 15 years, not due to any crisis, but the way a person goes to the gym, to stay in shape and healthy. Going to see a mental health professional is not a sign of reduced sanity; in fact, like exercise, it is a necessary habit of the determinedly stable. I mention this personal detail to you, a stranger, to illustrate that there is no shame in seeking professional help, or talking to a counselor. If you're looking for someone to care about your very complicated situation, I would consider doing that rather than flinging your situation at journalists and demanding they care. It isn't that I don't care, I do, and I am illustrating that care by taking the time to point out the path you need to take if you want to soothe your distress. It is not easy; true solutions seldom are. But you are the one who needs to care about yourself, and to manifest that care by seeking trained help. Thank you for writing.

NS

Wednesday, August 12, 2020

Teachers ‘scared’ as they ponder return to classroom

"Happy birthday, Miss Jones," by Norman Rockwell
     Printing letters has gone the way of pounding out copy on a manual typewriter. Just as well, it was mostly a summertime strategy for work-averse columnists to dispatch their duties without much effort. 
     However. My column Monday discussing the wisdom of the Archdiocese of Chicago holding in-person classes during an epidemic drew insights from a number of school personnel.So I picked three, condensing for space and scrubbing their messages of any track-’em-down-and-fire-’em details that vindictive school administrators — are there any other kind? — could use to go after them.
     “I have been a teacher in the Archdiocese of Chicago since [an important sporting event in the 1980s]. I have loved being a teacher for the past 25 years, with a break to raise my own children. My passion as [an elementary school] teacher is to prepare my students for the sacraments. What a gift I have been given!     “As we prepare for the reopening of our Catholic schools, I am scared... All of the public schools in the surrounding suburbs are doing remote learning. We are the only school system reopening in person. This puts faculty, staff and our children in danger.
     “My expectations of keeping my students safe involves taking temperatures before the students even leave their cars. I am not a nurse. I am a teacher. I daily 
put myself in harm’s way if a shooter enters my classroom. Now I am being expected to put myself in harm’s way with a known assailant, COVID 19.
     “Without a union, I feel voices of Catholic school teachers are unheard. Many of us are 
scared. I am scared for myself, my coworkers and the children and families I love. I pray the Archdiocese changes their in person plan before we see sick teachers and children, or lives lost.“
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Tuesday, August 11, 2020

"An overwhelming and devastating experience"

Syd Jerome
      Monday was bookended with unsettling news. Starting at dawn with word of the shocking looting across downtown Chicago, and ending toward evening with a derecho, a line of powerful storms, sweeping in from the west (I'd never heard the word, "derecho"—it sounded like a Spanish dance, and indeed is Spanish for "straight").
     Businesses already on one knee got hit again: Michelle Durpetti posted a video of herself standing in front of her Gene & Georgetti steak house, vowing to open for business Monday, despite having a window shot out and their office looted. She did. 

     I heard from Syd Jerome, the clothing store I wrote about after the post-George Floyd riot at the end of May. The publicist for Scott Shapiro (son of Syd) Megha Hamal wrote:
     The aftermath of last night’s looting in Chicago has left Syd Jerome reeling. The looting comes at a time when Syd Jerome was already getting adversely impacted by the pandemic and riots in June. Last night’s destruction left us with shattered windows and ransacked shelves, and many high-end clothing pieces and accessories were stolen. This is an overwhelming and devastating experience for us and other local businesses.


     In between, I wrote three columns—that's the good news. The bad news, from your perspective, is that none of them are running here today. The first a freelance piece for one of my satisfied commercial customers. Then two, count 'em, two columns for the paper. Which is not my usual routine—I work Sundays, writing my Monday column, so usually kick back Monday.  My plan was to finish the freelance piece and then try to take it easy.
     But I'm driving to Madison to research a story Tuesday, so called my boss to basically tell him that as far as I'm concerned he could consider me "on assignment" and I wouldn't turn in anything, having to leave early and be gone all day.
     What unravelled my plan was this: I'd gotten some heartfelt, informative, relevant emails from teachers in response to Monday's column. And it wouldn't be difficult to get those together into a column. And the looting, well, somebody ought to write something. So in the process of of bowing out of writing one column, I ended up writing two, which is me in a nutshell. 
     "If you're not in the newspaper, you might as well be dead," I said in my defense, sheepishly.
     As to when they'll run, well, that's above my pay grade. Both could run today, or neither, or one Wednesday and one Friday, or never. One element of my job is the surprise factor.
     Honestly, I'm looking forward to a long drive up to Wisconsin with hot coffee and music to work on one of my custom out-0f-left-field stories. Doing color commentary on the world falling apart in big chunks starts to drain a man.


Monday, August 10, 2020

Hope alone is not a success strategy


     Two questions.
     First, regarding Lebanese officials who ignored warnings about the 2,750 tons of ammonium nitrate stored in a warehouse in Beirut: Was it smart to do nothing?
     Were they right to just leave the explosives sitting there? Considering the bother of disposing of 5 million pounds of fertilizer. The cost. And when you’ve gone to all the trouble, what would you have to show for it? An unblown-up city. The same thing they started with.
     Inaction worked, for a while. For six years, nothing blew up.
     Given that, would doing something have been worth it? I’d say yes, but then I am a cautious sort, by nature. Cope with explosives before they blow up, that’s my motto.
     To the second question:
     The Archdiocese of Chicago is sending 70,000 Catholic students back to school this fall, to in-person classes, in the face of the raging COVID-19 epidemic: Is that a good idea?
     Maybe it is. New York City, the largest school district in the nation, seems to think so. Like disposing of explosives, keeping kids at home is difficult, on both parents and children. The former have to care for the latter, or pay for them to be cared for, or leave them unsupervised. Education suffers.
     It could work. Keeping kids in cohorts is smart — rather than changing classes and mobbing the halls, each classroom will be its own unit. Everybody will wear masks, in theory, and when people get sick — as they inevitably will — they’ll go into quarantine.
     The virus, which isn’t under control anywhere, might defer to the authority of the Catholic Church and avoid its classrooms. The famous ruler-to-the-back-of-the-hand Catholic school discipline could keep those masks where they belong.

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Sunday, August 9, 2020

Book end



     "Do you have a bookend for me?" my wife asked. 
      We were in the kitchen. Some cookbooks needed to be moved and then, I suppose, propped up.
     "Sure!" I replied, turning on a dime and trotting upstairs to my office. No time like the present! Plus, I'm a sucker for a really good bookend, and as the newspaper office has moved and downsized a couple times, they're always being discarded by my less bookend-o-centric colleagues, and—I am ashamed to admit—I am not beyond lifting a couple out of a rolling bin of discarded office chairs and tangled telephones and law directories. 
    Let's say I have more than I actually can use, tucked in my closet. I grabbed a solid industrial steel bookend that would keep the Gutenberg Bible from toppling over.
      Though heading downstairs with a good bookend, a little daylight entered into that question. Not "Do you have a bookend?" But "Do you have a book end?" 
    I realized—damn!—that I had missed an opportunity. Blown my line, as it were. I did have a book end and a good one. Do-overs are never the same. But I couldn't help myself. The temptation was too great. I arrived in the kitchen. 
     "Ask me again!" I said, twirling the the bookend in my hands.
     My wife, the poor woman, is used to this kind of thing. More than she or anyone ought to be. She paused only a second.
     "Do you..." she began, bracing herself for the inevitable, "have a book end...for me?"
     "I sure do!" I said, grinning. "'So we beat on, boats against the current, borne ceaselessly back into the past.'"
     I smiled. "The Great Gatsby." The last sentence. 
     I'm not sure what I expected. Applause maybe.
     She took the bookend and went to see to her cookbooks.

Saturday, August 8, 2020

Texas Walkabout: Magic

    The Saturday report from EGD Austin bureau chief Caren Jeskey:  

   Abracadabra, what I speak is what I create. That is one definition of the word we’ve heard hundreds of times in our lives, as white-tipped wands wave and bunnies are suddenly pulled from dark and previously empty top hats. Remember those days of miracle and wonder? Squealing with delight when tricked into believing that something lovely and impossible just happened? In the spirit of being live on this earth for a limited time only (this phrase taken from the album name of my favorite yoga singer Krishna Das)—and mortality firmly pressed against the plexiglass partition these days—I am hellbent on grabbing every moment of awe and joy that I can.
     This morning I woke up, put on my battered Birkenstocks and stepped out of my tiny house into a pleasant 80 degree morning 
(it was 98 by the time I got home a few hours later). Cloud cover made it even less Texas-like and more delightful. It took a few miles before I realized that I did not have to spend any more time entertaining the shitty committee in my head. Walking has been proven to improve vitality, memory, creative expression, and health. I don’t set out on my walkabouts with this in mind. My body just seems to leave the house on its own accord. The boon of job loss, and now working only part time from home, is that I finally have time for such extravagant walks for the first time in ages. After a while my thoughts slow down and I notice ladybugs on tree leaves and orange-beaked waterbirds that were always there but seldom seen in the melee of pre-COVID life.   
      Reality can be difficult. Even in the best of times we face challenges that seem insurmountable. The enormity of our new normal is just starting to hit us. It’s a runaway coal train full of pollution and our world will never be the same. On top of the staggering greatness of the global situation we also have our own personal, day-to-day struggles. Yesterday I received some difficult financial news that pulled the rug out from under me. I felt I’d been slapped or punched and promptly felt the tug of fear and the burn of tears. Right in that moment, a long-lost and now rediscovered friend Tana texted and asked if I was free to Zoom. I cried for a few minutes until she hocus-pocused me with empowering words. I was reminded of my gifts and resilience, and all of the tools and resources at my fingertips to gracefully navigate this obstacle.
     I went to sleep last night feeling better than I have in a while. I hadn’t realized that something I was trying so hard to hold onto was not the right thing for me. Once it was removed from my life I felt more myself than I have in a while. This prompted the energy and time for the 7+ mile walk I embarked on today, where I saw a man climb out of a sub-basement covered in mud with a big smile on his face. I chose to take the route right past the Ney museum (mentioned in two previous EGD posts, Badass Women and Shadow of Death) to get a peek of her majestic castle, which always boosts my spirits and fixes me with its artful power.

     If George Orwell is correct,“thought corrupts language, language can also corrupt thought.” Sometimes it's impossible to see a silver lining and feels like a lie to say "I’m okay." But when a brighter path is accessible I am all about taking it. On my walk today I found myself singing "In Spite of Ourselves" by John Prine and Iris Dement, loudly. It felt great and made me laugh. “In spite of ourselves we'll end up a-sittin' on a rainbow against all odds, honey we're the big door-prize.” Then I remembered that Mr. Prine died of COVID and I burst into tears. I sobbed as I walked down a quiet residential street with zero self-consciousness. It was not a self-pitying cry. It was grief. Real grief. Then I remembered that I sang that song with my friend Steve at my parents’ 50th wedding anniversary party a few years back. I tried to remember if we've lost anyone since that party. We have. When will I see my family again? When will I see my loved ones, my lifelong friends? As I write this I realize that they are the meat of my existence. Chicago is in my bones. I will make it back soon, I just can’t say when.

Friday, August 7, 2020

Men have long shunned protective gear

A.G. Spalding
     Albert G. Spalding was a fine specimen of a man: 6-foot-1 with dark hair and a thick mustache. He was also a heck of a pitcher: 47 wins, 12 losses for the Chicago White Stockings in 1876.
     If you read the above and thought, "That's a lot of games" you're right. Spalding pitched 61 of the team's 66 games that season. Most teams only had one pitcher. Spalding not only threw every pitch, but caught every ball, eventually, whether thrown back to him or hit. Unsurprisingly, Spalding’s hands were beat up with “severe bruises.”     
     So Spalding noticed that Boston first baseman, Charles C. Waite. wore something on his hand — a leather glove that matched his skin tone because he was “ashamed to wear it” and hoped fans wouldn’t notice. Men were aghast at the idea of protective equipment. In his 1911 book on baseball, Spalding notes the first catcher’s mask was ridiculed as “babyish” and “cowardly.”
     Spurning personal protective equipment didn’t begin with COVID-19. When you look at the history of PPE, the current uproar over wearing cotton face masks is simple to understand: it’s a guy thing.
     Men take risks. A 2012 National Institutes of Health study found that while toleration of risk has no effect on whether women working on farms wore PPE when spreading dangerous pesticides, it does affect whether men do. Men are prone to underestimate the hazard of any activity and to exaggerate the bother of safety measures, such as seat belts.
     Masks are indeed a bother. Most protective devices are. They diminish the pleasure of an activity: motorcycle helmets and condoms, for instance. Women have an easier time trading comfort for safety: about 60 percent of women wear motorcycle helmets while barely half of male riders do.


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