"Even if it's just you and me and Lee, we'll have fun," I told my wife, of the architectural river tour I'm hosting Aug. 21. An indication of my mindset when writing this — tickets were expensive, and we needed to sell a bunch of them. So I crafted the best sales pitch I could.
Completely unnecessarily, as it turned out. What I never contemplated, not for a second, was that all the tickets would sell out in a couple hours on Thursday, when they opened sales for supporters of Chicago Public Media. I was shocked, and unsure if the column should even run. But I played with the ending, and we decided to go ahead. The response was very gratifying, and I appreciate everyone who signed up.
And big fun. Big Chicago fun. Enjoying the unique activities that only a city like Chicago can provide.
Such as? What are peak Chicago summer experiences? A Cubs game at Wrigley Field. A hot dog and fries at Gene & Jude’s. To me, it isn’t summer unless I stop by MingHin, grab some dim sum and then meet my wife at the Gehry bandshell in Millennium Park to listen to ... well, honestly, I don’t really care what we listen to. Music. Blues, jazz, opera. Whatever.
A Chicago River cruise fits perfectly into the mix. Frankly, the Water Taxi works for me. But the ideal, full, peak cruise experience is the Chicago Architecture Center cruise. Because the buildings along the Chicago River, well, they’re Chicago's glory, aren’t they? I can’t tell how many times I’ve taken that cruise. Filling my pockets with informational coin that I can dole out for years to come.
Although, the last time — I had trouble. The docent, she was very nice, and, ah, informed, in a gentle, volunteer, small town librarian sort of way. And it isn’t as if the information she was telling us was wrong, per se. But I found myself almost biting my hand, struggling not to interject the sharper facts she was overlooking.
How can you point out the Tribune Tower and not use the phrase “Gothic horror show of a building”? (Okay, neo-Gothic horror show ...) How can you mention the 1922 architecture contest that selected this mess of flying buttresses — the best the Middle Ages have to offer — and not observe that the truly innovative design, Eliel Saarinen‘s far superior and influential, though never built, tower, came in second?
Or that Tribune publisher Robert McCormick — a world class xenophobe and Hitler bootlicker — sent his correspondents to beg, borrow or steal chunks of the great landmarks of the world, the Parthenon and Taj Mahal and such, to embed in the outside wall at ground level in his monument to American exceptionalism. A staggeringly misguided display of architectural homeopathy that would revolt us if we weren’t so familiar with it.
See how fun this is? Musing on how I could both enjoy the summer and raise some money for my financially struggling newspaper, I cooked up what we’re calling the Sun-Times Roast of the Chicago Skyline. A gloves-off, no-holds-barred, sharp, adult architectural river cruise. Not for the faint of mind.
Although. Since I do like to have an adult in the room — someone who really knows the topic, and can backstop me if I go blank, plus share the inevitable blame — I invited Sun-Times architecture critic Lee Bey to join me. And in a very uncharacteristic bit of recklessness, he agreed.
Lee, who worked for both Skidmore, Owings & Merrill and the city, brings a granular knowledge of the buildings we'll be drifting past, and will keep things from getting too negative. I’m with him there. I mean, I got married at the Intercontinental Hotel. It isn’t that I don’t like it. But the former Medinah Athletic Club, well, it’s also very strange, with those big Assyrian bas reliefs of bulls and kings and whatnot. What were they thinking? We'll tell you. For 90 minutes.
In a city like Chicago, there's a lot to keep track of. I was talking Saturday to a young lady of my acquaintance, who conflated the Willis Tower and the John Hancock Building, now 875 N. Michigan.
When I pointed this out, she said, “Aren’t they the same building?”
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Several years ago I won a free trip on a Seadog cruise in the lake & then up the river. The guide made so many mistakes about Chicago architecture it was appalling.
ReplyDeleteThe one I remember was him saying that Union Station was built by the Union Pacific Railroad, which is totally wrong. It was built by the Pennsylvania, Burlington, Milwaukee Road & the Chicago & Alton, in fact all four of those railroads had their names on a sign over the criminally destroyed Concourse Building on the east side of Canal, along the river.
The Union Pacific trains actually always used Northwestern Station, because the UP connected to the Chicago & Northwestern in Iowa & ended up buying the C&NW in the mid-1990s.
He also said the bridge houses were all different designs because different families owned the bridges, which was absurd, as the city always owned all the bridges, other than the ones the railroads used.
There were a lot of other mistakes, but those are the ones I definitely remember!
I took a river tour where the sole identification of the NBC Tower was "the home of Jerry Springer." Which I found so amusing that I had to call Adrian Smith, the architect, and run it past him. We both had a laugh over that. Well, more like a weary, bitter chuckle.
DeleteCAC docents are trained to never say negative things about a building. They are to give facts, not personal opinions.
DeleteThanks for explaining that to me. Though facts ARE personal opinions — you describe one building and not another, highlight this over that.
DeleteOne needs to remember that these "guides" that SeaDog (which I love BTW) and other outfits are kids, and are not native Chicagoans. Or from Illinois. Or from America. They import these young adults from Ireland.
DeleteI think it's a case of you get what you pay for.
An architectural tour with Lee Bey would be well worth any price of admission.
Neil, I'm also a CAC docent. There are a core of buildings that are required on every cruise; the rest are at the discretion of the docent. There are about 120 buildings along the route. 30 are "core"; I include about 30 others, which is on the high side (though some get grouped into one description). I have about 20 seconds to cover the Tribune Tower Residences. I mention the design competition, the architects' names (and that they knew that Col. McCormick, a WWI vet, loved Gothic architecture), and cite the particular tower in Rouen they copied. That's about all I can fit in.
DeleteAnd it's true we are asked not to be disparaging about buildings. I heard a story from many years ago that a docent described the now-demolished "Freedom Center" printing plant as having gotten its name because so many former print laborers were freed from employment by the plant's degree of automation. And guess what... there were Tribune Company execs on board, and of course they complained.
When the Trump International Hotel & Tower's sign was put up, I would sometimes mention the true story that the family that owned Johnson Wax asked Frank Lloyd Wright why he didn't put the JOHNSON name on their iconic complex in Racine. Wright's reply: "Would you put a name on the Washington Monument?" Alas, even that drew a complaint and I was asked to drop the reference.
I'd love to see your and Lee's take on river architecture, but alas I was too slow. Glad it's popular -- enjoy and good luck!
Well, you know what they do when a big show sells out -- they add another show. I would sign up for that.
ReplyDeleteWe took the architectural tour once years ago. The T---p building was under construction at the time and I did my best to avert my eyes. Even then I sensed trouble was brewing. Actually, the building will be beautiful when the letters come down. A veritable Cinderella story.
There was immediate discussion of that, but the powers-that-be didn't want me to even dangle the possibility, lest they be signing a check they can't cash. Any endeavor that involves renting boats has to be entered into carefully.
DeleteHence the mention of insurance paperwork, which scared some EGD folks into thinking Mister S was finally taking the buyout offer. Yesterday's story in the Sun-Times should have laid those fears to rest.
DeleteShowed off the city to my Cleveland-born wife when we took the tour in August of 2004, just two weeks after the infamous "Dave Matthews Band Bus Incident"...AKA known as Poopgate. Passing under all those bridge gratings made me nervous.
For those who either don't know or don't remember:
On August 8, 2004, DMB was at the center of a controversy when about 800 pounds of human waste was dumped from their tour bus through the gratings in the Kinzie Street Bridge, and onto about 120 passengers aboard one of the tour boats. In 2005, the band's tour bus driver pleaded guilty to dumping the bus's waste tank into the river, and he was fired.
The band donated $50,000 to the Friends of the Chicago River and $50,000 to the Chicago Park District. The band also paid $200,000 to settle the civil lawsuit that followed.
Perhaps this was among the reasons for those insurance forms.
Not exactly the same thing, but long-time readers might recall your multiple outings to the Civic Opera with groups of readers along for the ride, so the powers-that-be should have some institutional memory of your ability to swing such get-togethers. Or maybe they don't.
DeleteIt's worth pointing out that following the link for the now-sold-out tour will at least let you sign up for a wait list, and I've done so.
Perhaps before Winter rolls in another tour could be scheduled. I think that it would also sell out quickly.
DeleteOk... I have a bone to pick.
ReplyDeleteYou're ok still referring to the Hancock as the Hancock, but the Sears is now the Willis?!
The Sears Tower has been the Willis for quite some time, and people know what that is. I should have written, "875 N. Michigan, formerly the Hancock."
DeleteDo you think it should be changed to Blackrock Tower or United Tower?
DeleteThe current owners and the largest tenant respectively.
I'm with you on "Willis" vs. "Sears." Sears was there about 20 years, then moved to the suburbs. They've been gone for more than 30 years. I have no problem referring to it as Willis Tower.
DeleteIn the CAC docent community, though, I appear to be in the minority on this.
All of the 1000'+ buildings in Chicago have changed their names at least once, except the one with the gaudy sign. Even Jeanne Gang's St. Regis Hotel (3rd tallest in Chicago) had a different name when it was under construction.
Architectural Boat Tour with Lee is a brilliant idea. The River tour is always a winner. I've done it a few times, always good. I was not aware of the CDC not allowed negative opinions. I did a bus tour in Philadelphia once and that guide pointed out some ugly buildings and I thought we really don't have ugly buildings here, at least not along the river. Would be very interesting to hear the opinions if the two intellectual studs hosting this tour. Just having anyone host this tour with a differing opinion is a brilliant idea.
ReplyDeleteThank you. I don't get the negative opinion ban. Time magazine once called the Sun-Times Building the ugliest building in Chicago. That's a fact, but also an opinion. The Thompson Center was loud, hot, salmon and blue — all facts. But suggesting that Helmut Jahn should have stood trial in the Hague, for crimes against architecture, is an opinion that can't be expressed.
DeleteThe ugliest building in Chicago is the main library. It looks more like the headhouse of a European train station, from 1890. And the interior layout is even worse! It's a crime against architecture. Tom Beebe should've been tried in the Hague, along with the fools who inflicted this on the city over several far better designs.
DeleteTime Magazine must not have been familiar with the Apparel Center or Water Tower Place ;-)
DeleteWhat a cool experience! Please add another date. The rest of us would love to buy tickets.
ReplyDeleteEveryone should take a dip in the swimming pool at the old Intercontinental Hotel at least once!
ReplyDeleteFunny you mention that. One of the false bits of architectural trivia that drives me mad is how Johnny Weissmuller "trained" in the Intercontinental swimming pool. Weissmuller's careers as a professional swimming ended before the Medinah Athletic Club was built. That said, I did swim in it an hour before I got married. One of my favorite memories, cutting alone through the water, with this huge event bearing down on me.
DeleteI'm so relieved today knowing that NS has not taken a nose dive. Carry on Neil. We need more of you, not less.
ReplyDeleteGrizz 65:
ReplyDeleteAs a former Motorcoach Operator (bus driver), allow me to allay your fears. 99.9% of tour buses need to be stopped, and you pull a valve in the back, right where the waste comes out. That had to be a special feature put in for that bus. Now birds on the other hand . . .
As a CAC docent, I would urge you to find out a bit more about how we are trained. Buildings we describe are chosen to give an overall picture of all the styles along the river. We do not choose those we like best. In fact there are few "optional" buildings; most are required. Lee Bey certainly knows architecture and I'm sure the "can-you-believe-this?" tour will be fun and enjoyed by all. Some of the docents would probably agree and add to the story But, that is not their job with the public who pay to learn
ReplyDeletefacts. (And since when do you subscribe to the president's idea that "facts are personal opinions"?)
Sounds like a great idea and hope there may be more opportunities. I have taken the cruise many many times. And always find it enjoyable and I learn new things. Your description of the VOLUNTEER CAF docent, who probably knows more about Chicago buildings then you might was unnecessarily unkind
ReplyDeleteSpeaking of the offended: the first couple times I took a river tour, the docent in the process of mentioning the reversal of the river and ensuing litigation, joked that St. Louis paid Chicago back by putting the polluted water it received in cans and sending it back to Chicago as Budweiser Beer. Gone on a few more tours waiting for that punch line. No more. I guess Bud people can't take a joke.
ReplyDeletetate