Tuesday morning, after our walk, I went up our driveway to toss Kitty's morning contribution into the trash can by the garage and spied half a rabbit. Our dog, who, truth be told, can be slow on the uptake, didn't notice the offal, thank God.
After I squired Kitty into the house, I went into the garage, got a shovel, and returned to what indeed turned out to be the hindquarters of a bunny, the upper portion cleanly snapped away mid-spine, as if cleaved in two with an axe. I considered taking a photo but, yuck, right? I buried the lower half in the strip of woods running along our property, covering the grave with a log, to deter it being dug up.
It was clear to me what had happened: an alien spaceship had bisected the rabbit with a space laser, taking the upper half for study, or whatever nefarious purpose inspires extraterrestrials to flit about our planet in a way that manages to be both omnipresent and elusive.
I considered reporting my confirmed alien sighting to the proper authorities, but realized that, without tangible evidence, my information would not be given the weight that it deserves ...
Okay, okay, not being serious here. With so much rampant credulity — really, we live in the Golden Age of Gullibility — I don't want you thinking, "Oh no, not Steinberg too." I've gone on record about what I think regarding the tendency to automatically view UFOs as visiting aliens, for all the good it does. (The wistful, who want so much to believe, try to skew the issue into, "You don't believe there could be life anywhere in the vast galaxy?" A red herring, and not the relevant question, which is: "Are they here, now?" The answer to that must be a resounding "No!" The whole UFO phenomenon is based on people not grasping the hugeness of space, nor the expanse of time. "Star Wars" nailed it: if there is life in the galaxy, the overwhelming odds are it was both "long ago and far away.")
After I squired Kitty into the house, I went into the garage, got a shovel, and returned to what indeed turned out to be the hindquarters of a bunny, the upper portion cleanly snapped away mid-spine, as if cleaved in two with an axe. I considered taking a photo but, yuck, right? I buried the lower half in the strip of woods running along our property, covering the grave with a log, to deter it being dug up.
It was clear to me what had happened: an alien spaceship had bisected the rabbit with a space laser, taking the upper half for study, or whatever nefarious purpose inspires extraterrestrials to flit about our planet in a way that manages to be both omnipresent and elusive.
I considered reporting my confirmed alien sighting to the proper authorities, but realized that, without tangible evidence, my information would not be given the weight that it deserves ...
Okay, okay, not being serious here. With so much rampant credulity — really, we live in the Golden Age of Gullibility — I don't want you thinking, "Oh no, not Steinberg too." I've gone on record about what I think regarding the tendency to automatically view UFOs as visiting aliens, for all the good it does. (The wistful, who want so much to believe, try to skew the issue into, "You don't believe there could be life anywhere in the vast galaxy?" A red herring, and not the relevant question, which is: "Are they here, now?" The answer to that must be a resounding "No!" The whole UFO phenomenon is based on people not grasping the hugeness of space, nor the expanse of time. "Star Wars" nailed it: if there is life in the galaxy, the overwhelming odds are it was both "long ago and far away.")
Still, there is something useful here. When we consider how smoothly people make the leap, from a flash in the sky to a mothership from Rigel 7, the whole Trump disaster should be no surprise. We knew long ago, or should have known, that too many people are eager to believe the most jaw-dropping nonsense based on nothing at all; why is it surprising that this tendency functions in realms beyond specks in the sky?
Wednesday, standing in the kitchen, I though I saw something flash in the back yard. Looking harder, I saw nothing. "These microships are fast," I thought. Again, not really. Ten seconds later, my wife said, "Look!" and I saw I had left the grill open the night before, eager to convey our steaks to the table.
"I must have left the ..." I began.
"The coyote!" she said. I redirected my gaze, and there was maybe 40 pounds worth of loping piebald manginess, heading around our house and west down Center Avenue. My wife alerted the neighbors across the street, who are watching a dog for friends and might conceivable let her in their fenced-in back yard.
They saw the coyote, parked in front of their house, and one let out a shout they've developed to alert the other that a momentary phenomenon demanding attention is something marvelous, not dire. A pretty bird, not a car accident. "Beauty emergency!" she said. I'm going to borrow that one. Her husband snapped the above picture but, being a more modest sort than I, waved off the idea of credit.
Given this new information, I'd like to revise my theory about what happened to the rabbit. Space aliens didn't cut the rabbit in half: they left the rabbit carcass there, as bait, trying to attract the coyote. That must be it.
"I must have left the ..." I began.
"The coyote!" she said. I redirected my gaze, and there was maybe 40 pounds worth of loping piebald manginess, heading around our house and west down Center Avenue. My wife alerted the neighbors across the street, who are watching a dog for friends and might conceivable let her in their fenced-in back yard.
They saw the coyote, parked in front of their house, and one let out a shout they've developed to alert the other that a momentary phenomenon demanding attention is something marvelous, not dire. A pretty bird, not a car accident. "Beauty emergency!" she said. I'm going to borrow that one. Her husband snapped the above picture but, being a more modest sort than I, waved off the idea of credit.
Given this new information, I'd like to revise my theory about what happened to the rabbit. Space aliens didn't cut the rabbit in half: they left the rabbit carcass there, as bait, trying to attract the coyote. That must be it.
Those coyotes are pesky. The worst though is skunks in the yard.
ReplyDeleteThis is the time of the year that the skunks are digging up grub worms, and will leave your lawn, new bushes, and any other vegetation somewhat freshly planted, as fair game for the skunks to do their digging. Just be thankful they haven't been introduced to your trash cans.
DeleteI've never seen such a healthy-looking coyote. I hope I'm wrong but it looks like someone has been feeding it.
ReplyDeleteWinter is coming. This coyote's coat is filled out and ready for the cold.
DeleteWe live next to Forest Preserve and get lots of coyotes. I scared one off just this morning.Most of them look pretty healthy. There's plenty of ambulatory food and a deceased deer feeds them for days.
DeleteCoyotes have adapted to suburban and urban environments. Another good reason to keep your cats inside.
Fun post; fine photos. If the coyote left half a rabbit behind for Neil to deal with, perhaps it's getting plenty to eat. I'll bet there are more than a few rabbits in the leafy, suburban paradise, especially since I'm often surprised by how many are wandering around city neighborhoods.
DeleteOf course, I'm not in a position to judge whether the coyote sighting is just a coincidence, and it was a fox or falcon that bisected the bunny, as suggested below.
A couple of times I've gone in my back yard & found the remains of a pigeon. I'm pretty sure one of the peregrines that nests about a mile away got it.
ReplyDeleteThey just don't kill enough of them!
Have not seen one in awhile. Lucky you! My mind usually needs a couple beats to get past "dogdogdog" to perceive "coyote"
ReplyDeleteMore likely a fox cleaved the rabbit in half, and the sighting of a coyote was just a coincidence. Foxes have small stomachs and after catching their prey often eat part of it, saving the rest for later.
ReplyDeleteMr. Coyote to Mrs. Coyote, "I swear I saved half that fat little bunny for you, but this alien creature came by and buried it in the ground for some unearthly reason."
ReplyDeleteMrs. Coyote, "Yeah, sure."
tate
Gull-a-bull! Thank you for the first smile of the day!
ReplyDeleteYes...and if you are invited into the alien spaceship you will find "The Donald" at the controls, smiling, waving his finger at Marjorie Taylor Green saying this could happen to her if she doesn't get back on board!
ReplyDeleteYears ago, I had a family of foxes hanging out in the back yard. I thought it was charming ... until I saw one of the adults drag a dismembered squirrel past the dining room window.
ReplyDeleteCoyote sightings near us at Roosevelt and Harlem have been going up for ten years; daylight, loping down the street, skulking in the alley.
ReplyDeleteYour alien explanation reminded me a visit to Graceland cemetery awhile back. It was a beautiful clear day in the dead of winter, all brilliant blue skies, pristine snow, and gray headstones. My young nephew and I, the only people inside the graveyard's walls, were looking at the markers near a pond when came upon a Canadian goose, spread eagled on its back, split open. Its insides were completely cleaned out. Some bright red blood was splattered on the snow. It wasn't a gory scene but striking visually.
Who did this? I concluded it was an occult animal sacrifice. And we might have interrupted their ritual. We ran back to the car.
As we drove out, excitedly talking about our theory, we saw two coyotes eyeing us, feathers stuck to their red muzzles.
If we hadn't seen them, I'd probably still be thinking that we had come acoss some satanic shenanigans.
Terry- I live northwest of you, closer to the DP River. Coyotes are regulars in my neighborhood. Foxes were once regular until coyotes chased them out. More recently, there have been reports of a wild turkey running around, which i find amazing. I consider myself lucky and privileged to have the opportunity to observe the natural world from my back (or front) door. I don't understand people who move into a neighborhood adjacent to a forest preserve and then attempt to eradicate the co-existing wildlife.
DeleteBack in my prime Wrigley days, the mid-Eighties, a good friend and I went to smoke a joint in one of those overgrown and semi-abandoned graveyards between the ballpark and Graceland Cemetery. I think it was the "Hebrew" one...one of the oldest Jewish cemeteries in Chicago.
DeleteWe came upon the fresh remains of several chickens...entrails, bones, heads, the whole megillah. My friend immediately identified it as being a voodoo ritual. Fowl play (sorry).
You learn a few things when you spend twelve years in New Orleans. Including a stint as a jazz DJ. Came home and became one of the biggest ticket scalpers in Wrigleyville. Who do dat voodoo? You do.
I've seen coyotes at Graceland Cemetery several times, but have no video to show for it. Robert Loerzel, Chicago's Baron of Bluesky, has filmed them on many occasions.
Deletehttps://bsky.app/profile/robertloerzel.bsky.social/post/3m52e2m2uuc2s
Jakash, that is good to know. We are going to Graceland in a few years when we croak and would love to know a group of coyotes are keeping watch.
DeleteHalf of our Ring doorbell neighborhood notifications are from someone seeing a coyote lurking about. I think the only thing preventing mass panic as a result (*cough*) is the number of replies to the original post, all pointing out (either gently or not so gently) that, Duh, they live around here. We are in their neighborhood, not the other way around, as I like to say.
ReplyDeleteIn our neighborhood, we have two distinct packs out there, one living east of us near the creek, and the other up on a distant hill to the west. On a quiet night, we can hear them calling to each other in stereo, back and forth. Rough translation:
"Hey, did you try that bunny at 123 Maple last night?"
"Naah. Too chewy. I hear there's a new Chihuahua at 312 Oak. We're going to check that out tonight." ...and so on.
Agreed. Bird of prey, like a falcon.
ReplyDeleteHave you ever seen the Nimitz videos? You have veteran naval aviators testifying to Congress they've had dogfights with objects defying all the laws of physics.
ReplyDeleteThe crafts go from stationary to 4000 miles per second and run rings around our fighters. The crafts are able to evade our fighters and anticipate their every move, they play games with the aircraft.
AND there's video evidence of the crafts moving at speed that would kill a human pilot.
UFOs have also been overflowing are nuclear silos, turning the rockets on and off terrifying the airmen.
@Neil I know you're a skeptical but take a look at the Nimitz videos.
Rendlesham Forest incident - Wikipedia https://share.google/2oPzxmD0vH85heWkT
This incident was in the 80s. We had nukes in England and for an hour UFOs flew over the base, 100d of witnesses. Not cranks but high level officers testifying to the incident.
The British Secretary of defense said " either there were craft over the base or 100s of Americans were hallucinating ".
Most reports about UFOs are frauds or mistaken identity but some are real and terrifying.
Stipulated: Many lefties (and even more righties) hate Bill Maher. Largely because he can be an asshole, not infrequently, and depending on the topic. Nevertheless, we watch his show occasionally for some disturbing reason.
DeleteRecently, he had a guy named Dan Farah on. This gentleman has a documentary (premiering on Amazon Prime tomorrow, FWIW) called "The Age of Disclosure." It deals with some of the UFO "evidence" referred to by 2:50 Anonymous, above, and suggests (of course) that there's a government cover-up of such material. Bill Maher was all-in on the idea, needless to say.
Having read Neil's elegant and thorough 2013 vivisection of the whole UFO shebang, to which he linked in today's post, I'm more skeptical than Mr. Farah or Mr. Maher, but some of this stuff does seem remarkable. The reviews are all over the place, as one might imagine.
All of which is to say, I hope you'd consider responding to 2:50's comment, NS. I assume you are completely unmoved by reports by experienced pilots, etc., but does skepticism not allow for the remote possibility that 99.99 percent of UFO sightings are bullshit, while there could conceivably be a few that are worth looking into?
I'm assuming that's a definitive "No," but thought I'd throw this in here, anyway. 👽🤓
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Age_of_Disclosure
Yeah, this whole "experienced pilot" thing is wishful thinking. If I said, "Well, it was said by the president of the United States of America, so it bears consideration," how would that go over? Again, nobody is saying there isn't mysterious, unexplained stuff. What I am saying is the leap to make it evidence of extraterrestrial visitors is completely unsupported by anything.
DeleteAll these years later, I still marvel at the implosion of J Allen Hynek's reputation, if not career, in re: to his turnaround views about UFOs. He retained his role as Chair of Astronomy at Northwestern, but people primarily viewed this as an example of job security for tenured professors.
DeleteThanks for the reply, NS. I agree that, lacking evidence, skepticism about all reports is the proper attitude, especially when so, so many are clearly hoaxes or things that CAN be explained.
DeleteI just hesitate to rule out even the remote possibility of there being civilizations that far surpass ours that could conceivably travel here at some point. Franco notes that "There are just so many other places to go." Indeed, I'm sure indigenous people on remote Pacific islands may well have thought the same thing when the first ships showed up, if they'd had any idea of how large of a planet they inhabited.
If, in the year 1000, you'd been chatting with a buddy and he told you that he saw a 747 land 20 miles away, you'd have been justified in thinking that he was delusional. (And he would have been, of course.) But, within the very short span, cosmologically, of a millennium, 747s were commonplace and not at all the most impressive demonstration of technological advancement.
A lot of really weird, inexplicable things happen all the time, and I'm not talking about alien abductions. In short, just because something seems inconceivable and hasn't happened yet, doesn't mean that it can't happen. Whether people engage in wishful thinking about it, or not.
"Science says that the likelihood that we've had visitors from other planetary systems within our galaxy is extremely unlikely. This doesn't rule it out completely but does rule it out almost entirely." I can certainly go along with that.
Though I fear that now I'll be pigeon-holed as EGD's own version of J. Allen Hynek, minus any credentials at all. D'oh! 😉
Jakash- you could NEVER be pigeon-holed! I love how you speak your mind and articulate your views, even when in the minority. I especially like that you proudly put your name on your posts, too. Skepticism cuts both ways - skeptical of whether UFOs exist, and skeptical that they don't. No one knows for certain, in spite of the odds/probabilities. Our dear Dr Hynek went from being skeptical that UFOs exist to being certain that they do. You sir, are no Dr Hynek!
DeleteWow, that's a notably kind reply, Jill A. Thanks very much! While I use A name, it's a pseudonym and I'm afraid I don't use it proudly, alas...
DeleteI'm not sure how long you've been commenting here, but I don't think it's been all THAT long. Regardless, you've been a welcome addition to the EGD Commentariat. You seem to have a lot of interesting experience and have made many worthwhile contributions on different topics, whenever it was that you joined in. While I may not have responded, your thoughtful, well-written remarks are always appreciated!
Thanks, Jakash. I should have said, "you proudly stand by your posts with an identifiable moniker", but I do enjoy the moniker your selected! I was a reader of EGD for a bit before I even began to read the comments. Then I was a voyeur before posting anonymously. It was a transition and you are correct -you were a regular commenter long before I made my "identifiable" start.
DeleteAs we all know UFO stands for unidentified flying object.
ReplyDeleteI know for a fact there are flying objects that we are unable to identify.
The leap from this fact to the assumption that these are the result of visitors from planets somewhere in the galaxy/universe is enormous.
Most unidentified flying objects are the result of human activity either our military or the military of some other country..
There are some that are completely unexplainable and positing that they are from somewhere else not in our solar system is borderline preposterous
There is a remote chance that some highly advanced life form has vehicles that can travel at extraordinary speeds but the chance that they would end up here is infinitesimal.
There are just so many other places to go.
It's okay to believe in whatever you want to believe in but that doesn't make it true.
Science says that the likelihood that we've had visitors from other from other planetary systems within our galaxy it's extremely unlikely.
This doesn't rule it out completely but does rule it out almost entirely.
Sorry to have to be the one to lay this out but this is just the reality
Franco
You're not the one to lay this out, Franco. I am. You're echoing me, which is fine. What is odd is that you don't seem to realize it.
DeleteOh I do I understand you're writing your commenters on the other hand or at least one of them seems to have missed it and certainly not laying this out for you
DeleteI'm not that precocious
Did you see any roadrunners?
ReplyDeleteYou had me at your dog's name is Kitty! Delighful! This is the first time I've commented on your column after many many years and this is it! Thank you!
ReplyDeleteIf you could send any surplus Northbrook coyotes down to Evanston, we could use them. Serious excess bunny population. Springtime would be best, when the bunnies threaten my wife's hosta plants.
ReplyDeleteAlso, could I say I'm slightly horrified by your having to say that you were kidding about the Space Invaders. What have we come to!
A few years ago, I saw a coyote on our front lawn-we were living in Palatine at that time-he trotted up to the street, stopped, looked both ways, and ran across the street. No wonder they have thrived in our suburban areas.
ReplyDelete