Trivia time!
What is the biggest nation on earth? In land area, that is. I'm not talking about largeness of spirit or national heart, qualities that are not only unmeasurable but increasingly unvalued. At least in our country. What does "freedom" mean if you aren't free to protest your neighbors being dragged away by masked thugs? What does "democracy" mean when the president talks about canceling elections? What kind of nation is that?
Sorry. We were talking about land mass. Any idea? China would be a good guess: 3.7 million square miles. Which allows me to trot out one of my favorite obscure facts: China is almost exactly the same size as the United States, at 3.8 million square miles. (Meaning ... we're bigger! We win! USA! USA!)
Not so fast. Both China and the United States are eclipsed by Russia, at 6.6 million square miles. Even after the collapse of the Soviet Union.
Still a massive country, spanning crossing 11 time zones. Land is not what they need. Yet there they are, fighting to claw territory away from Ukraine, 3% of its size. Estimates vary, but it's believed that around 250,000 Russian soldiers have died in the conflict.
For what? I suppose you could muster some flapdoodle about resources. But it's really about pride. Russia is a failed state — when was the last time you bought something made in Russia? They don't even lead the world in export of vodka — that's Sweden. Followed by France. Then Poland. Putin attacked Ukraine as a lunge at former glory. Because Ukraine once belonged to the Soviet Union, and it's making Russia look bad — in Putin's eyes — by thriving without them. Russia can't make a toaster, but they can bomb apartment buildings in Kyiv.
Ditto for China — at a very big 3.7 million square miles, remember — which snaps its slavering jaws at Taiwan, 0.3% its size. A nation that was never part of Communist China. Invasion looms, even though doing so would knock over the global economy.
Again, why?
To argue a practical reason —oil, gas, land, whatever — is to suggest the school bully is beating up Timmy because he needs his pocket change. It gives the bully too much credit for practicality. Picking on weaker kids is what bullies do, to feel alive. To feel like men. To feel great.
Which brings us to Greenland.
"We do need Greenland absolutely," President Donald Trump said, preferring to buy the place, which belongs to Denmark and is not for sale, otherwise threatening to seize it by force.
"I would like to make a deal the easy way," Trump said Friday. "But if we don't do it the easy way, we're going to do it the hard way."
"Obviously," his adviser Stephen Miller explained. "Greenland should be part of the United States."
Obviously?
I want you to say that to the next person you see. "Obviously, the United States must have Greenland." See what kind of look you get. It's bonkers. Did we learn nothing from watching Ukraine not only fail to crumble before the Russians but fight back fiercely?
Trump said if we don't snatch Greenland, Russia will. That's also nuts. Denmark is a founding member of NATO where, sadly, talk seems to be about how to placate Trump — the lessons of Munich 1938 still unlearned.
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Making an important point with generous dollops of humor is a piece always to be coveted. Thanks for this.
ReplyDeleteExactly my thoughts
DeleteWe used to have 13 military bases in Greenland in WWII, now we have just one!
ReplyDeleteWe also have a treaty with Denmark that allows us to build as many military bases as necessary in Greenland as we need or desire.
There's zero need to take over Greenland either by force or by buying it, even if Denmark was stupid enough to take the money. And exactly where would that money come from, we have the biggest deficit ever now!
This solely because the demented, deranged, narcissistic sociopath, child rapist, fascist traitor, pile of shit wants to rename it after himself!
I think it's to distract us from the rising prices of everything, especially groceries.
DeleteToo sad to be untrue. So if we attacked Greenland, under the NATO treaty, we would be obligated to defend Greenland. Sounds like self abuse.
ReplyDeleteI couldn't help but be amused by reading somewhere that part off Trump's obsession with Greenland is related to his fundamental lack of understanding of the Mercator projection. Greenland looks so BIG (even though it isn't really).
ReplyDeleteGreenland is the 12 th largest country in the world. its pretty big
DeleteYour point being ... Canada is no. 2. Should we try to seize it, 'cause we can? Or rather, we THINK we can? Turns out to be not so easy.
DeleteSerious question...
DeleteIf we seize Canada and/or Greenland, would the populations of either be able to vote?
Canada is supposed to be the 51st state, according to republicans, and given its size, i can imagine it would have a lot of representatives. I can't really imagine a vast majority of an conquered sovereign nation voting for the party that conquered them.
Or are republicans just trying to take them over and not give them the fundamental right of "no taxation without representation" like they refuse to do for DC, Puerto Rico, Guam, and all of the other "american" places we "own" but refuse to allow to be part of our democracy?
Why don't we ask Republican's why they don't believe in the constitution and statehood for DC and Puerto Rico? why are legacy media so complicit in their refusal to address these things?
And this morning we discover his DOJ is investigating the head of the Fed, who he otherwise hasn't been able to intimidate. Another day, another outrage. He has completely coopted and taken charge of the entire machinery of government, using each of those components to Nazify our once proud democracy. The GOP majority, the only people with the power to rein him in, is silent. Historians will name names - if a free press still exists.
ReplyDeleteSome historians will pass proper judgement on these monstrous times, but there will be plenty of "revisionist" historians who'll tell us that all this was a good thing. Both sides, right? Apropos of your free speech concerns, a lot of the universities where these future historians will be teaching gladly collaborated with the MAGAs. I can only imagine what the course materials will require teachers to say.
DeleteNeil, Your piece is nice and it points out between the lines how much congress has ceded its power... if you can read between the lines.
ReplyDeleteAs I have said, and will continue to say until they act, Republicans are the problem here. Trump and his amerikan bronwshirts can hacken zusammenschlagen all they want, but the blame falls squarely on the shoulders of every republican who has been elected to office.
From Mike Johnson's inability to know what's going on to Susan Collin's belief that Trump got the message. If you voted for a republican anywhere on your ballot you are to blame. If you give money to a republican candidate you are to blame. If you support a business who has publicly supported a republican (audibly or financially) you are to blame.
Weak men with small dicks ruin everything. From Hitler to trump, from Mussilini to Johnson, from Bush to reagan, from stalin to new gingrich, from pol pot to neil gorsuch, from joe liberman to joe manchin and all the way down to tom money bag homen and greg four foot two bovino.
Double B: your effusions demonstrate that the Trumpean rhetorical manner is contagious . Your chest beating, your sophomoric name calling and your stream of conscience wordiness, (albeit in a good cause) reflect the Trump style. We can do better...I think...I hope.
Deletetate
You make a very valid point, tate.
DeleteThough i do want to point out, the only way it appears that you can actually get anyone on the right to actually react and have a conversation with you is through insults and name calling.
From experience with Greg Bavino, the only way you can get him to stop breaking the law, firing tear gas, violating a court order, or attempting to run over people is by insulting him.
"Everyone" said Secratary Clinton was out of line when she called Donald Trump supporters deplorable. She wasn't. She was right. And we need to call these monsters, fascists, and Nazis what they are.
They have come out on tv and social media saying that they only use the songs and words they do is because they know it will get a reaction from the left and media. As such i will do the same, without feeling bad about it.
Respect is earned, and no republican or republican supporter seems to be capable of proving they are worthy of respect. If republicans spent half as much time governing than they did clutching their pearls regarding charlie kirk one minute and calling murdered Ms. Good a terrorist maybe i wouldn't consider calling stephen miller a bald baby neo facsit who would rather felate king cankles. But these people aren't serious. They are anti american frauds, and don't deserve the respect they refuse to give anyone else.
For years trump has stated that global warming is a hoax. Now with water ways in the arctic melting, is Trump finally admitting that global warming is real? So facts for him are real only when it benefits his agenda? Aren't we all getting a little tired of his BS? Facts are facts, real is real only when it benefits him. Wake up to the ongoing crap that the administration is constantly feeding the American people. Taking Greenland is not the answer. We have our military there now for protection. We have NATO, at least for the moment until Trump decides to pull out of there. What we need is protection for the United States from our own current administration. That can be accomplished with the upcoming 2026 election. Get out and vote to help and eliminate the chaos in the U.S. that is all to prevalent now. in o
ReplyDeleteNuuk, Nuuk, Nuuk. Its like a 3 stooges comedy short. Instead of Moe, Larry and Curly,
ReplyDeletewe have Trump, Vance and Rubio. The only difference is that the original were very funny. The latter are very dangerous.
I meant to tuck that in, then forgot.
DeletePossible future headline: "Nuuk Nuked? NUKED!" Not very funny, though.
DeleteA wiser man than I once said”The conquest of territory is the easy part, holding and controlling is the hard part” Canada, Cuba, Venezuela, Greenland, whoever. If the populace doesn’t want us there and our real enemies decide to help them “free” themselves we don’t have enough military to do it. See Vietnam in the history books for more information. Times 100.
ReplyDeleteThe State Department has just set travel advisory for Venezuela to Level 4 and mandating the evacuation of US citizens because of threats from paramilitary groups. Presumably the majority of US citizens in Venezuela work for oil companies. So, Mr. Miller, what's the plan? Gawd, the stupidity and arrogance are breathtaking.
ReplyDeleteWhen was the last time anybody bought something made in Russia? Hardly ever. They don't make or export very many things that the world needs or desires.
ReplyDeleteRussian cigarettes fell apart and tasted terrible. When I was 14, my uncle brought home a brand called Laika, named for the dog in the Sputnik. The tobacco was greenish yellow. Made me gag and retch.
Russian three-wheeled motorcycles were exported to the States in the Nineties, where they became cool for a short window of time, but they were something of a joke. The Ural had a top speed of about 60 mph, which made them useless on the American highway. Even an old VW Beetle did better. They sell well in Europe, Japan, Canada...and Russia, natch...but not very well in this country. Big surprise.
Vodka? The top five producers are Sweden, France, the United States, Poland, and Ireland. Followed by Italy, the Netherlands, Germany, Finland, and Latvia. Then comes the UK, Belgium, Russia, Ukraine, and Lithuania. Yes, you read that right. Latvia! They outproduce Russia, which ranks 13th, and produces less than 2.5% of the world's total vodka output, compared to Sweden's 17.4%.
And as for toasters, Russia has never been able to produce electric home appliances like our Sunbeam Products has, for almost 130 years. They originated in Chicago and were centered there for decades. Sunbeam is best known for toasters, mixers, and heating pads.
Sunbeam toasters literally last forever. Models from the Fifties and Sixties are still in common use. The toaster we use daily was brought home by my father in 1953. And when that one dies, a 1956 kid brother will take its place.
After the Soviet Union collapsed, thousands of Russian SKS rifles were imported into the US. They were made from the late 40’s through the 50’s. I bought one for $90. Gun shops were practically giving them away. It was a cool gun with a folding bayonet I think it was the same gun they sold to North Korea during the Korean War. For such a cheap gun it shot pretty well. At least the barrel didn’t explode.
DeleteHaven’t shot it in 30 years. Not really into guns anymore. I wouldn’t plug in an 80 year old Russian toaster let alone try to shoot an 80 year old Russian gun. It is a pretty awesome Cold War souvenir though.
Trump is bullying Greenland/Denmark, Venezuela, Cuba, Mexico, etc. because he can do so safely. They're all much smaller and weaker nations, close at hand. He can push them around endlessly, puff up his chest and look tough to his heart's content.
ReplyDeleteHe needs the cred because he's not going to get it against anyone in America's weight class.
Look at Russia and Ukraine. Whenever Trump is forced to talk about Ukraine, he invariably repeats his preening assertion that Putin would never have dared to invade if he'd still been in charge, because he's just that tough. Only for all that toughness, he is unable to move the needle on the war. His influence on Putin is approximately zero; the only way he can even get attention is to threaten Zelenskyy with a cutoff of aid. In terms of leverage, that's less than useless.
What will the U.S. do if China moves on Taiwan? My prediction is that Trump will shrug and do nothing but send JD Vance to make the rounds explaining why China's aggression isn't *really* our concern. He will do this because he is a coward, and this is the coward's way out -- refusing to let the U.S. fulfill its moral obligations and geopolitical imperatives.
So Trump and that hairgelled idiot in charge at the Pentagon will go around threatening and being obnoxious toward our allies and neighbors, while allowing Putin and Xi Jinping to tear up the world. And their supporters will think of Trump as the toughest president ever.
Bitter scribe. Do you think we should engage in a hot war with Russia over the Ukraine.
DeleteDo you think we should supply Ukraine with the material that they would require to defeat Russia?
Do you think we should engage in a hot war with China? Over Taiwan what kind of s*** show would that be?
If you had posted this column 9 months ago, I would have deemed it a good April Fools joke. I still have moments of incredulity when I read the news now.
ReplyDeleteWe have sunk so low and so far in a very short period of time, and so much of the drama is ludicrous.
I'm wondering if part of the strategy for going after Greenland is to break NATO. I believe that's a key goal of Putin's, and Putin has been manipulating his puppet rather skillfully.
Neil, your piece in today's S-T is one of the best I've read in a long time and that's saying something given how awesome your insights usually are. I've been to Russia 19 times since 1990 and watched with elation when the USSR folded and with horror as Putin destroyed any hope of Russia becoming a democracy. Comparing stories with my Russian friend Boris about our education in the arts, he observed that in Russia the teachers asked students, "What do you know?" In America they ask, "What to you think?"
ReplyDeleteIn some odd way, that reveals something about the freedom so many of us take for granted. Boris' struggle to reach America is documented in a video his son made. You and your readers might like to see it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vPCMCn-nFGg
Let's hope that Americans vote in the 2026 midterm elections to bring us back to sanity or we will be as screwed as today's Russian people who have lost a quarter million soldiers for no reason other than to appease a dictator.