Will taking Greenland by force make us feel like men?

     Trivia time!
     What is the biggest nation on earth? In land area, that is. I'm not talking about largeness of spirit or national heart, qualities that are not only unmeasurable but increasingly unvalued. At least in our country. What does "freedom" mean if you aren't free to protest your neighbors being dragged away by masked thugs? What does "democracy" mean when the president talks about canceling elections? What kind of nation is that?
     Sorry. We were talking about land mass. Any idea? China would be a good guess: 3.7 million square miles. Which allows me to trot out one of my favorite obscure facts: China is almost exactly the same size as the United States, at 3.8 million square miles. (Meaning ... we're bigger! We win! USA! USA!)
     Not so fast. Both China and the United States are eclipsed by Russia, at 6.6 million square miles. Even after the collapse of the Soviet Union.
     Still a massive country, spanning crossing 11 time zones. Land is not what they need. Yet there they are, fighting to claw territory away from Ukraine, 3% of its size. Estimates vary, but it's believed that around 250,000 Russian soldiers have died in the conflict.
     For what? I suppose you could muster some flapdoodle about resources. But it's really about pride. Russia is a failed state — when was the last time you bought something made in Russia? They don't even lead the world in export of vodka — that's Sweden. Followed by France. Then Poland. Putin attacked Ukraine as a lunge at former glory. Because Ukraine once belonged to the Soviet Union, and it's making Russia look bad — in Putin's eyes — by thriving without them. Russia can't make a toaster, but they can bomb apartment buildings in Kyiv. Kiev.
     Ditto for China — at a very big 3.7 million square miles, remember — which snaps its slavering jaws at Taiwan, 0.3% its size. A nation that was never part of Communist China. Invasion looms, even though doing so would knock over the global economy.
     Again, why?
     To argue a practical reason —oil, gas, land, whatever — is to suggest the school bully is beating up Timmy because he needs his pocket change. It gives the bully too much credit for practicality. Picking on weaker kids is what bullies do, to feel alive. To feel like men. To feel great.
      Which brings us to Greenland.
     "We do need Greenland absolutely," President Donald Trump said, preferring to buy the place, which belongs to Denmark and is not for sale, otherwise threatening to seize it by force.
     "I would like to make a deal the easy way," Trump said Friday. "But if we don't do it the easy way, we're going to do it the hard way."
     "Obviously," his adviser Stephen Miller explained. "Greenland should be part of the United States."
     Obviously?
     I want you to say that to the next person you see. "Obviously, the United States must have Greenland." See what kind of look you get. It's bonkers. Did we learn nothing from watching Ukraine not only fail to crumble before the Russians but fight back fiercely?
     Trump said if we don't snatch Greenland, Russia will. That's also nuts. Denmark is a founding member of NATO where, sadly, talk seems to be about how to placate Trump — the lessons of Munich 1938 still unlearned.

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