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Wednesday, September 9, 2026

Rejecting cruelty of a nation bent on squashing trans Americans

Moon over Alabama, by Richard Linder

     The war on trans Americans continues unabated. The government cashiers loyal and effective soldiers from the military while trying to quash health care for young people nationwide. Apparently, parents know what's best for their own children only when denying them vaccines. A scary time, and if you don't think it's your problem, then you're ignoring how quickly a cruel and arbitrary government can shift from one target to another. Hate is fickle.
     Civility shouldn't be. I've been defending trans people in print for 34 years. First, because I'm a Jew, and given our history of being on the receiving end of hatred, it's our responsibility not to limit the compass of our sympathy entirely to ourselves.
     But there's another reason, one I've never explained, So today I'll tell the story.
     As a young reporter, I quickly discovered there are two ways to do the job. You can wait for someone to assign you something, and end up covering fires and zoning board hearings.
     Or you can find your own subjects, ones that you are guaranteed to be interested in because you picked them yourself.
     I preferred the second path.
     So I'm combing the classified ads at the back of the Chicago Reader, fishing for leads, when I notice an ad for a boutique on Elston Avenue selling women's clothing in large sizes to men.
     "Now there's an interesting business," I thought, and headed over. Talking to the owner, I realized this is more than one shop. This is a world, a community. I saw an announcement for a dance, and decided to go.
     At the dance I met "Jenny," who I described in the opening paragraphs of my story this way:
     Jenny has sparkling blue eyes, a small, upturned nose and a cascade of curly blond hair tumbling over her right shoulder.
     With a rhinestone nail charm centered on each red fingernail, a dab of blush at her decolletage, and deftly applied make-up, it's easy to believe her when she says she spent three hours getting ready to go out.
     The shimmery blue and silver dress is custom-made, she says, and it's easy to believe that, too, since with the spike heels, Jenny tops out at perhaps 6-foot-7.
     "I'm a bigger girl, I know," she says, smiling radiantly. "I can't go out to a mall — hey, I've got a football player's shoulders."
     What I did not put in the story was my thought processes, standing there in the dim, loud dance, with my narrow pad and pen, as she spoke. Picture me, brow furrowed, gears slowly turning, as I looked up at this young woman, nearly a foot taller than myself.
     "Hmmmm...." I thought. "Three hours. That's a long time. She must really want to do this. You know ... most people do what they really want to do. And in that sense, I'm lucky that what I really want to do is go home and kiss the wife. Because if I wanted to do ... what she wants to do ... I'd be completely screwed. Because I could either do what I want to do, and be this loathed pariah skulking around the shadows. Or I could spend my life not doing what I want to do, and isn't that a sad way to live?"

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20 comments:

  1. Neil another great column. Very touching back story. And I am where you are. I think though that the issue of trans acceptance is being complicated by the sports competition debate and used by the "haters" (?) to squash any consideration of acceptance. Complicated times. Thnx again.

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  2. I have wondered if this disgusting hostility towards Trans people has increased, at least in part, by the Obergfell decision, which provided gays legal protection to marry and thus removed some of the impetus to attack them. Needing someone to target, the right began focusing on trans people.

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    1. No question. Haters are generally cowards, and hate who they can, who some authority figures gives them permission to dislike.

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  3. I am willing to bet that a vast majority of people who are against trans rights have never met a trans person.

    Anyone who openly attacks the other is a sick and evil person.

    Furthermore, if someone wants to fight for this country, how dare we turn them away because they are gay or trans or female. The only people we should be turning away from service are white nationalists, christian nationalists, and Nazis. Unfortunately, both of those groups seem to be major players in the republican party as it exists today.

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    1. I think that meeting a transgender person may not reduce but actually increase prejudice against them. It didn't for me but you underestimate how perverse human nature can be when presented with something totally out of their experience. We are living in bad times.

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    2. How very fascinating, David.

      I wonder if most people would even know.

      But I agree, we are living in some bad times. Keep up the good fight.

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  4. Back in the mid 70s, at the age of 22, I began dating a woman who had many friends in the trans community. She took me to a club here in Chicago called Night Life, where I met some of the nicest people I have ever known.
    Denizens had an opportunity to tease and make the nervous straight boy uncomfortable, but the exact opposite happened.
    They were kind and welcoming, and did everything they possibly could to make the guy who looked like a deer in the headlights feel at ease. One of them named Gail, who sounds a lot like the Jenny in your article, right down (up?) to the shoulders, was nicest of them all.
    I was a different person (for the better) after that night.

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  5. When my daughter came out as trans, it was challenging for me as a parent. The only label that matters is that she is “my child”. Most of my friends don’t (think they) know any transgender people. They have all had to adjust their thinking now that they know someone who is.

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  6. I have now lived a bit more than 81 years and I just don't get it. This irrational fear and hatred of the"other", whether that person is Black or female or gay or trans or Jewish or Muslim, or whatever. I just don't see how "you" being any of those things affects me or my life.

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  7. I'm noticing that groups are trying to use transgender persons as a wedge issue to rollback the protections not just for them but for gay persons as well. These days are starting to remind me of how blacks got the shaft after reconstruction ended.

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  8. Howie Mogil-LakeviewSeptember 9, 2026 at 9:02 AM

    Great job Neil.

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  9. This obsession with other people’s lives continues to mystify me.

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    1. It's how the Rethugs cover up for their own activities, by persecuting "other people" and using that persecution as a smokescreen to hide the things that they are engaging in. Pedophilia, same-sex hook-ups, in airport bathrooms, cross-dressing, and so much more.

      The things they persecute are the things they are doing when they think nobody is watching...until they are outed. The occasional Democrat gets caught, but it's nearly always someone from the Gee-Oh-Pee. Isn't that interesting?

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  10. An interesting analogy drawn between trans folks and Jewish people.

    Be who you are just don't be up in my face about it. Sadness is a very personal matter and I've known trans people who after seeking out their identity still aren't very happy. If you're happiness depends on other people accepting you good luck with that.

    I think the culture wars are the result of fear not hatred.

    We be hating on them they be hating on us and an eye for an eye just leads to being blind and that's what many people are blind to the understanding that it's only they themselves that they're in charge of . They want to be in charge of others no matter what the dynamic its a big mistake that leads to turmoil.

    What others think how others feel how others treat you reaching out of yourself to make these types of demands just leads to dissatisfaction

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  11. I'm curious: this article was about cross-dressing, which to my knowledge is different from being trans, although I'm sure there's a Venn diagram there. Did Jenny want to live full-time as a woman, or was this more an occasional thing?

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    1. That's something that caught my attention too. The whole trans movement seems to have eclipses the old transvestites — men who dress as women but are still men. I do remember that some people at the dance were full timers. I asked one if she was gay, and she said, No, she lives as a woman and dates men, which took me a while to process. Others were going through the surgery, even then. I'd say it's a spectrum.

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  12. Three hours? That's dedication. A gay friend of mine used to tell a story about the one time that he tried dressing differently for a party. "Never again" he said, "I looked like Aunt Bee!" He had a marvelous sense of humor.

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  13. Hi Bill

    I have a lot of thoughts about what you've written.

    What do you consider being in your face?

    It's not so surprising you've known transpeople who are still unhappy after coming out and expressing their gender identity. Some days I think unhappiness is a big part of the human condition. Besides, not a few people publish novels, or win big in the lottery, or marry the person of their dreams and are still unhappy.

    That's a fair point about the problem of relying on other people's acceptance for one's happiness. On the other hand, all other things being equal, not being accepted makes life a lot worse. For transpeople, all too often this can mean harassment and violent -- sometimes fatal -- assault.



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  14. Thanks for the column Niall and also the paintings.
    I think transpeople like everyone else deserve respect and safety and love.

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  15. Barrington Kenilworth IVSeptember 9, 2026 at 7:45 PM

    I couldn't agree with you more, Neil. Just because I have never experienced gender dysphoria doesn't mean it doesn't exist, and certainly does not exempt me for having compassion for those who do experience it. Just as I reach for the Pepto when my stomach is upset, reaching for hormone therapy and surgery to alleviate gender dyshoria is perfectly logical and reasonable. What is not logical nor reasonable is putting roadblocks in the way for people seeking such relief. How utterly cruel and mean spirited to persecute people who are suffering, or who are taking positiv steps to alleiviate their suffering.

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