A colleague once found himself committed to the locked alcoholism ward at Advocate Lutheran General Hospital in Park Ridge. Though we were not friends, I decided, being a sort of self-designated official greeter for recovery, it might be a fine thing were I to visit him there.
Lutheran General is where Elton John got sober. If you ever saw "Rocketman," it's amusing to contrast the place as it appears in the film — arched hallways, Roman columns, brass sconces — to the dated, sprawling facility on Dempster. No self-playing grand piano noodling in the lobby, no life-size fiberglass whale hanging from the ceiling, none of the other fripperies found in the finer downtown or North Shore medical establishments.
Arriving, I got the sense there wasn't a conga line of visitors. Finally I found someone to let me in, show me a locker to stash my possessions — a strategy to cut down on visitors passing booze to residents — and eventually was ushered into my co-worker's room.
He wasn't in shape to receive company — restrained, with wide leather cuffs strapped to his wrists and ankles. I settled myself into a chair, radiating what I hoped was cheerful solicitude. He looked at me and started talking incoherently, a babble of nonsense syllables. I nodded, eyes wide, for 10 minutes or so before I decided I'd done my duty and fled.
This episode came to mind when I asked my wife if she intends to watch the presidential inauguration, and she said she probably couldn't bear it. I said that I feel obligated to. Duty-bound.
There is a value in showing up, bearing witness, being there, if not to the person being visited, then to the person doing the visiting. I doubt very much my few minutes in Park Ridge registered on the booze-shattered psyche of my former colleague. But it certainly stuck with me, one of those little helpful reminders that as refreshing as a big glass of Jack Daniels on the rocks might seem at any given moment, best to stay on the path instead. Avoid the ditch.
That's why, even though everything I've written over the last decade, taken together, has not diverted the country from its running plunge into the abyss, I still feel the need to pay attention, through latticed fingers, and offer occasional commentary — not for the nation's benefit, but mine. And maybe yours too.
Actually, a program I'm familiar with offers a variety of tips that might prove helpful to us in enduring what is to come. Over my desk is a plaque that reads, "One Day at a Time," and that is helpful, today being all we have.
Then there is the escape of rote activities. When I went into rehab — 20 years ago this fall, my the time does fly — I think I spent five days cleaning the basement. I remember sweeping a line of fine gray dust across the concrete floor and thinking: This is very zen. Like being in a monastery. I easily have four years' worth of deferred household chores, if not 40. Now is the perfect opportunity.
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Exactly, we can't just bury our heads in the sand.
ReplyDeleteEveryone who is dumb enough to to the inauguration should wear Canadian Maple leafs, fly the Canadian Maple Leaf flag & Greenland whatever their symbol is!
ReplyDeletePiss off that fat traitorous asshole!
The morning after the election I realized with horror that I have never lived in the country I thought I lived in. I paid attention in Civics and Science classes and truly believed the lessons I was taught. The success of MAGA has taught me that a critical mass of the citizenry did not absorb the lessons. We will soon have a president who organized an attempt at a violent overthrow of our democracy. Unthinkable. I feel helpless but I will continue to bear witness along with you.
ReplyDeleteBy the way - I type this with nine fingers - I lost my left index finger in a moments inattention with a power tool. I don't recommend it as an experience. Be careful.
While i love the idea of a hobby, or hobbies, your article does point out something all too worrisome. Until our ordinary regular run of the mill lives are upended most people don't care who the president is or what they do.
ReplyDeleteI don't know if it would actually matter, since I've lost a lot of faith in humanity over the course of the few decades. I think the world is just too complicated for us to make sense of it on a grand scale, or at least those of us who are too selfish and lack the ability to look beyond themselves.
It's an interesting place to be in. Stuck between a rock and a hard place...
I understand losing faith in humanity, but am a bit confused about the "past few decades" part. You knew about slavery, right? And the Holocaust, whose main lesson is that one third of the nation will kill the other third while the last third watches. My expectations are rock bottom. I was mildly surprised when Trump was re-elected. I didn't think people were THAT stupid. But obviously they are. My being sad about it won't change anything.
DeleteThey are indeed stupid, something I observed in one of my first comments here several years ago now. You responded by pointing out that they're not ALL stupid; there are many venal and nefarious characters mixed in, which is certainly true.
DeleteWhere I think Trump had an original idea was to realize the sheer number of stupid-- okay, poorly educated, low intelligence, no critical thinking skills, however you want to put it -- people who could be energized to vote for him by hearing their grievances echoed back at them for a change. That critical mass had been ignored by both parties for years, a great big voting bloc that would put into power the first person who recognized them, regardless of whether he actually cared about their situation.
He does not, of course, care anything about them, something that they will only learn in the coming years, but by then, they will eventually realize that it is too late for them to do anything about it. Perhaps someone more suitable for the office can campaign with enough of an act to sway the stupid voters over to his or her side for the next administration, but whether we can change course quickly enough to avoid the iceberg remains to be seen.
Some countries make voting a mandatory obligation for its citizens, yet US politicians contort themselves and our laws to disenfranchise and discourage voting. Of course, the whole dang electoral college is because our Founding Fathers didn't trust their fellow citizens to cast informed votes, so there's that, too.
DeleteThe day after the election, I removed the American flag from my house. I put it back out for Veterans Day and then took it back down. Tomorrow I'm going to drive 372 miles north to a little cabin in the woods. Before I even unlock the door, I'm going to take down that flag, too.
ReplyDeleteI hope my feelings change soon. I'm nothing if not a patriot. For now , the sting is too new.
A crammed garage, and a basement full of hoarded crap, can (and hopefully WILL) keep me busily occupied for a long time to come. And a bedroom, as well. Not a good thing when you live in a two-bedroom bungalow.
ReplyDeleteBegan throwing stuff out back in March and April, when we had guests for the solar eclipse, but never kept on de-pigging the rest of the year. My wife would have to continue if i suddenly croaked, and that is not fair to her. Bad enough becoming a widow.
All of our devices are in the OFF mode every September 11, ever since the Gee-Oh-Pee began co-opting that sad anniversary for their own nefarious ends. Will be doing the same thing for Darkness at Noon, Version 2.0, on the 20th. No radio, TV, internet, or phones. Don't want to hear a single word from the orange turd. Or anything about him. Not my circus, not my ringmaster.
And when my eye doctor moved across town, he rescheduled my annual vision exam for that same date. Reading the eye chart, and enjoying the eyedrops, are normally not anticipated experiences. But this year, they will most definitely keep me from becoming a Not-see.
I am having so much trouble dealing with Trump’s return to power. I am 81 and I was hoping he would be out of my life before I die and now it seems like he won’t unless I out live him. For me, this has been crazy making. I have canceled all my newspaper subscriptions except the Sun-Times. Cancelled almost all the news apps. I kept a few good ones like The Bulwark so I will know when to run. I have kicked everyone out of my life that I know for sure voted for him. I ask friends to not tell me what is going on but they can’t help themselves. I am a Covid widow and I blame him for the death of my husband. We had no children. I am alone with my cat.
ReplyDeleteIn the last week, I have been in the hospital twice. I caused a car accident, no one hurt, and caused $5,000 damage to my car. That caused a major panic attack resulting in aphasia and a trip to the hospital to rule out a stroke. Monday I fell on my back on black ice because I wasn’t paying attention and hit my head on cement. Another ER trip. Another CT scan. Lucky. Just a really sore back for weeks to come. Obviously not focusing. Probably need a psychiatrist. Starting anti anxiety meds today.
It is difficult to come to grips with what is about to happen to this country, and I fear that it will be worse than we can imagine. I don’t think he will leave in four years. He has all the marbles.
What to do? How to ignore all or any of it? How to stay sane?
WOW. My condolences. Fear can destroy one's life.
DeleteSame as anger can. Ask the man who knows.
Firstly...I think he will be in a box in four years. Probably less. Third time's the charm, doncha know. Or he will have a stroke, and croak. Or he will do something really nuts, and be removed from office. Jail time? Nope. He's the real Teflon Don. Perhaps he'll waste away in Florida, just like in "Citizen Kane." Maybe we will even live long enough to see it happen. Or maybe not.
The most likely scenario, in anywhere from six months to two years, is the Jethro V. Dance Troupe organizing and orchestrating his demise, along the lines of Julius Caesar. No daggers this time. Too crude. They will make it look like Orange Julius died of natural causes. Unfortunately for the Untied Snakes, the Couch Molester is even worse, and he's only 40. Adolf was an old man of 44 when he took power. He's the one who could rule (as a puppet) for a long time.
Secondly; Have you looked into the calming and restorative benefits of cannabis? Easily obtainable, and you no longer have to seek out a pusher man, or even smoke it. It's not 1967 anymore. Highly (ouch) recommended. Once again, ask the man who knows.
While I share everyone's dissapointment that Trump prevailed, I do not view the next 4 years with horror. Rather, the electorate has spoken, and we need to fuel confidence in our democractic system and institutions to carry us through. The good news is that beginning in 2009-10 we can look forward to something, anything, other than Trump to lead the news cycle.
DeleteAgree Grizz, cannabis (as in edible delivery system) highly recommended. For medicinal purposes only, of course.
DeleteI've considered it. But pot was never my thing, and though there is a big dispensary in Northbrook, I've never gone in. My thinking is, I'd either like it too much or too little.
DeleteI stand with your wife and Grizz. NO WAY will I watch the inauguration and will try damn hard to block any news of it. Is there value in bearing witness if the price of such is consuming stress, angst, anger...? Personal decision. Doing it for me. Self care.
ReplyDeleteLike others, I struggle to find a balance between "bearing witness" and "maintaining sanity. But I won't surrender to whatever horrors await us in the next Presidential term without some form of protest! I surrendered my US flag early in Trump's 1st presidency, and won't give it up again. Its my flag and country, too, with history enough to also represent MY beliefs and hopes. If kindness can help us get through, then I will try to be kind. I appreciated the kindness of strangers in the first days after the election, which certainly wasn't coming from MAGA who were (and continue to be) energized by hate and grievance.
ReplyDeleteI really liked Mr S's shaming of FB after they banished R Federer. And the impact of his effort was huge! His friend's account was restored, thanks to Mr S's kindness!
Unlike the 1st term, I plan to step back when it gets overwhelming, and be kind to myself for needing to do so. Hobbies, distractions, goofy pet videos and stories - the retelling of my own, or reading those of others.
In that spirit, Mr S's remarks about LGH's Substance Abuse program triggered a bunch of funny memories for me; I share two for comic relief.
1) I grew up in the shadow of LGH and attended the HS next door. The founder of their world-renowned substance abuse program, Dr Nelson Bradley, was a neighbor. He had a myna bird that lived in a cage in his office until it was banished to his home after one of the bird's favorite lines became, "What's your problem, alcohol?" (I'm not making this up). The neighborhood kids loved to visit the myna bird and talk to it.
2) When I was in HS, my aunt was a patient in the substance abuse program. My mom would often drive over to visit her sister, then swing by the HS to pick up her kids (and an occasional neighbor) when school let out. If one of us was running late, we'd often see a gaggle of classmates hanging around my mom's car chatting. One day, my mom said she thought police were following her. From where? From the Substance Abuse program to the HS. OK. The next week, she did her usual circuit, but when she returned to our house, the police were waiting for her! My mom had been taking my aunt's laundry home with her, washing it, and returning it at her next visit. Her pattern of behavior - regularly bringing bags of stuff to Rehab, then hanging out with teenagers, had been noticed, and there was suspicion she was a drug dealer! She was investigated! (but in those days, unlike the FB era, you were allowed to explain yourself to real people, so nothing came of it). But you can imagine the mileage her children got out of this incident! (even funnier if you knew my mom).
No cannabis on Lexapro or Xanax. Cans cause more anxiety. Great! Yes, more, please
ReplyDeleteI can't help but notice the analogy between losing a finger to a power tool and the devastating position we find ourselves in politically. Both are related to ignorance and not paying attention. The loss of a digit is one thing, the loss of democracy is quite another. When I was a young artist, I briefly dabbled in drugs until realizing that it was all an illusion that distracted me from the creative reality that was about the importance of living my life. Neil got it right when he said, "You’re not doing it for them; you’re doing it for you."
ReplyDeleteI think I’ve come to understand Trump’s appeal by harkening back to my high school days. I attended Arlington High School in the early 80s. Like many schools back then, AHS had a designated smoking section, affectionately known as The Corral, where all the burnouts/stoners/ wastoids hung out. Among them was an affable, shaggy haired dude named Steve, who seemingly lived in The Corral. One year, someone nominated Steve for homecoming king. Each year, the entire student body was forced to attend an assembly to listen to the homecoming court nominees give their pretentious canned speeches about school spirit and visions for the future. Yawn. It was always the same over-achieving suckups, the popular kids that everyone secretly reviled — captain of the tennis team, student council president, the head cheerleader, etc. as they lorded their long list of accomplishments over us hoi polloi. And then came Steve. He was introduced simply as “Frisbee Champ of the Corral”. He gamely took to the podium, laughed and waved, and delivered his speech in three words: “Vote for me!” The crowd went nuts. One of us! A vote for Steve was a vote for anarchy, a way to stick it to the snobs and show the school who was really in charge for once. It was Steve in a landslide. Granted, Steve didn’t have access to the nation’s nuclear code or anything, but now every time I see Trump in front of an adoring MAGA crowd, I think “There goes their Frisbee Champ of the Corral”.
ReplyDeleteFun story, and I think there's more than a kernel of truth to the analogy.
ReplyDeleteI doubt that the orange felon has ever thrown a Frisbee, though he belongs in a federal corral! If only his anarchistic appeal were as harmless as I imagine Steve's reign as Homecoming King was.