Friday, May 19, 2023

‘A little extra artillery’

     Why did Jordan Eldridge, of Michigan City, Indiana, submit to a series of 20 injections in a part of his anatomy where most men would never want even one?
     He considers before answering.
    “Well ...” the 33-year-old landscaper began. “I guess it’s just part of the culture. Bigger is better. I never really had too much of a problem in the bedroom. I have had a girlfriend tell me my johnson was small before. But it was an argument. You have to take it with a grain of salt.”
     I’ve always thought penile enhancement is invariably some variety of scam.
    “Historically, you’ve got to be careful what is out there,” agreed Dr. Jagan Kansal, a board-certified urologist in Chicago who specializes in sexual and reproductive medicine. His practice, Down There Urology, performed the PhalloFILL procedure on Eldridge. “There are a lot of advertisements promising you take a pill and your penis is going to get bigger. Oral medications won’t do that.”
     Eldridge said he did not do it for romantic reasons.
     “I asked my girlfriend that I was with currently, and she said, ‘No, I don’t think you need to do it.’”
     Then why?
     “It’s more of a personal thing,” he said. “You know, guys in the locker room. Everybody takes a glance, and you don’t want to be the smallest guy. Don’t want to be the biggest, but it never hurts to have a little bit more.”
     PhalloFILL does not make the penis longer — Kansal says no reputable procedure promises that — but wider. Eldridge received shots of a substance called hyaluronic acid filler, a natural compound found in body joints.

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  1. Perhaps Jordan should have opted for an encephalon enhancement instead.

  2. I guess there are no forbidden subjects these days. Great job even if banned in Tallahassee.


  3. This has certainly enlarged my knowledge of this area of men's health.

    But really? He "enjoyed" the procedure more because two comely female docs handled it?

    Oh, brother.

    1. I see what you did there. "Comely female docs handled it." Two puns in one sentence. Oh, brother, indeed. Kudos.

      Love the final quote from Peter Johnson (not his real name): "I would recommend it to any guys who have personal confidence issues. It’s just a confidence booster. You know you’ve got a little extra artillery.” Sounded exactly as if the dude was discussing firearms...and his purchase of a more "Is that a pistol in your pocket...or are you just happy to see me?" Bigger is better, whether it's guns or genitalia. It's the American way.

    2. Reminds me of a bit of doggerel meant to impress recruits with proper Marine/Army nomenclature: This is my piece, this is my gun, one's for fighting, the other for fun.

  4. Hmmm, Neil... Wondering if that photo atop the blog has to do with something you're doing today, tomorrow's post or, perhaps, does it represent something that appears rather short, but proportionally wider than it might be? Of course, sometimes a lighthouse is just a lighthouse, as Freud said. ; )


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