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| Created by Google Gemini AI. |
A year ago, I asked Google's Gemini AI to write a column boosting artificial intelligence in the style of Neil Steinberg of the Chicago Sun-Times. It instantly spat out a snappy patter that was a bad parody of me, with lots of winking Chicago references. AI is supposedly constantly improving, so I was curious: Has it actually gotten any better in the past year? I asked Google's new 2.0 "experimental" Gemini for an AI update, again in my style, which I present here (anything in italics is still me). It came up with something that begins:
Last year, AI went from "kinda cool, I guess" to "holy crap, is that a threat to my livelihood?"
Not bad, right? It even threw in bullet points and boldface:
The writing's on the wall, and it's in a font I can barely read. AI can now churn out essays, poems, and even screenplays that are, frankly, better than some of the stuff I've seen on Netflix. My inner playwright is weeping, but also, honestly, a little impressed.
That part about the inner playwright weeping is true, but not because AI is so impressive. I was at a party where a young man said he was writing a play. "Writing plays is hard," I replied. And he said, no, not really; he's having AI generate the dialogue. I gaped at him, open-mouthed.
The music's changed, man. AI can now compose original music, from classical sonatas to surprisingly catchy pop tunes. It's like a thousand different composers jammed into a blender and hit "puree." Is it art? I dunno, but it's definitely something.
I went looking for a "surprisingly catchy" AI-composed pop tune and ended up listening to "Daddy's Car," a muddy mashup of the Beatles and the Beach Boys, whose lyrics border on gibberish. "Unsurprisingly lousy" was more like it.
The images are getting … uncanny. AI art generators are now spitting out images that are so realistic, you'd swear they were photos. Want a portrait of your cat as a Renaissance noble? Done. Need a photo of a talking squirrel riding a unicycle? Consider it accomplished.
Gemini AI did, I noticed with unease, take far longer to create the image (above) of a talking squirrel riding a unicycle than it did to write my column. Not bad, right?
But here's the thing: it's not just about the cool stuff. It's about the implications. Jobs that were once considered safe — writers, artists, musicians — are now facing an uncertain future. What happens when a machine can do your job better, faster, and cheaper?
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I've always thought that you're writing has a variety of characteristics that say Neil Steinberg not every piece you write is the same or even similar in your books can be entirely different from one another so an amalgam of your writing seems obvious I suppose one day you could not tell us that what you were presenting had been generated by AI and see who noticed I really think I would.
ReplyDeleteThe emotions that you convey the insight that you provide is at a level that at this point at least AI has no chance of competing with
Also if AI was asked to generate a post or a column every goddamn day for a year it just can't imagine that it would be able to choose topics that were as compelling and obviously can't make a site visit and interview people the way you do there might be writers that have something to worry about but I don't think you're one of them keep it up you know you're great
Thank you. Too kind. I was about to say, If you find me one day raving about a product out of the blue, you'll know the robots have seized control. Then I thought about my plug for Eli's Cheesecake the other day. . .
Delete100% Agree
DeleteThe deepfakes are the scariest part. It already seems like we've lost a shared reality and truth is an outdated concept. If AI generates videos that are indistinguishable from the real thing, not only will it be (even more) impossible to convince someone they've been lied to, it will be even easier to dismiss actual facts. Musk giving Nazi salute? Oh, that's an AI fake, but look at him riding a cybertruck on Mars!
ReplyDeleteIt has already begun. Rember during the campaign the idea was floated that Harris did not have many supporters at her campaign stops. Allegedly AI inserted her supporters into the picture of her at an airport if I recall the details accurately. I had someone at work tell me it was "proven" it was a deep fake. It has gotten to the level of absurdity of the flat earthers. They simply deny any fact that does not fit their narrative.
DeleteMatt W
how do we know that squirrel can talk
ReplyDeleteAs a linguist, I'm curious about whether there are limits to AI as a tool for translating texts, and I recently heard a story that suggests there are definitely limits at the present time. The husband of a friend of mine was approaching his 75th birthday, and her children and grandchildren asked her to compose a poem about her husband. She did so and sent it to members of the family. One of her granddaughters asked an AI program to turn the poem into a song by setting it to music. When the family played the tune, they discovered that AI had made many changes in the text of the poem. One change in particular baffled everyone. AI described her husband as "playful," a word that was, to put it mildly, not even close to a translation of any of the words in the poem. In point of fact, no one who's ever met her husband would describe him as "playful."
ReplyDeleteThat was a lousy imitation. It tried way too hard to be casual. Not your voice at all. "The music’s changed, man"? I do not believe I've ever seen you use "man" like that. But for me the real give away was the headline. I play a little game with myself every day when I scroll through the CST headlines in my news feed. I try to spot a Steinberg column from the headline. I'm guessing I catch 90% of them that way. I missed this one yesterday.
ReplyDeleteAI-generated text, all too often, is characterized by excessive wordiness and over-long descriptions. Don't encourage the ubiquitous trolling and phishing sites (and pages) that frequently employ them. Especially on Farcebook.
ReplyDeleteThey are only out for one thing, and one thing only...to lure you in, so they can either sell you merch and other shit...or flat-out scam you. Just a cautionary heads-up, folks.
I agree that it doesn't sound at all like you. Not just because it's not interesting, but also because I can't imagine you ever writing something as banal as " This ain’t your grandpappy’s AI."
ReplyDelete