If orchids vaguely frighten you — and I find them creepy — there's good reason. Orchids are saprophytic; that is, they obtain their food from decaying organic matter. Other plants, usually. But your rotting body would serve in a pinch.
Orchids are also deceitful. The flowers of certain species mimic territorial enemies of bees. There's a great term for this, "pseudoantagonism," as opposed to the all-too-real-antagonism we humans experience. With the pseudo version, male bees strike at the insect-imitating petals, trying to drive the illusionary foe off, getting pollen on itself in the process. Other orchids mimic the smell of nectar that isn't actually there, and hungry bees root around, looking for it, getting pollen on themselves in the process before flying off, disappointed.
Orchids are also deceitful. The flowers of certain species mimic territorial enemies of bees. There's a great term for this, "pseudoantagonism," as opposed to the all-too-real-antagonism we humans experience. With the pseudo version, male bees strike at the insect-imitating petals, trying to drive the illusionary foe off, getting pollen on itself in the process. Other orchids mimic the smell of nectar that isn't actually there, and hungry bees root around, looking for it, getting pollen on themselves in the process before flying off, disappointed.
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| Slipper orchid |
Despite orchids' seedy reputation and behavior, my wife and I, being faithful, card-carrying members of the Chicago Botanic Garden, so every February we go to see the CBG light up the mid-winter darkness with their annual Orchid Show. This year's, "Feelin' Groovy," has a 1960s theme, and while perhaps not as natural a pairing as last year's marriage to subcontinental India, not bad either.
Orchids are all about inclusivity — they're found all over the globe, including four species above the Arctic Circle. Some grow on bare rocks — several species grow on cacti. They're associated with the tropics, but several species thrive in desserts, and the environment you'd expect them in most, rain forests, are not really best for orchids.
They're luxurious plants, mostly good only for show or, in the disapproving words of the Encyclopedia Britannica, "the family is notably lacking in species from which products are derived."
With one big exception — vanilla, extracted from Vanilla planifolia. Found in Madagascar, Mexico, Indonesia, various Pacific Islands and ... wait for it ... Puerto Rico, which I emphasize because, well, Puerto Rico is having its moment in the spotlight, are they not? Enjoying the same Bad Bunny Bounce that caused Democrats to hope that we aren't as royally fucked as we seemed to be last week.
Orchids are all about inclusivity — they're found all over the globe, including four species above the Arctic Circle. Some grow on bare rocks — several species grow on cacti. They're associated with the tropics, but several species thrive in desserts, and the environment you'd expect them in most, rain forests, are not really best for orchids.
They're luxurious plants, mostly good only for show or, in the disapproving words of the Encyclopedia Britannica, "the family is notably lacking in species from which products are derived."
With one big exception — vanilla, extracted from Vanilla planifolia. Found in Madagascar, Mexico, Indonesia, various Pacific Islands and ... wait for it ... Puerto Rico, which I emphasize because, well, Puerto Rico is having its moment in the spotlight, are they not? Enjoying the same Bad Bunny Bounce that caused Democrats to hope that we aren't as royally fucked as we seemed to be last week.
Still, I think vanilla is a big enough deal to make the Britannica's "notably lacking" a little unfair. That's almost like saying wood is not good for any practical use beyond building houses ... and furniture. And paper. And cardboard. Okay, not quite like saying that at all.
Not many orchids this year presented an appearance I consider "The Screaming Baby Face," which is good because ...
Oh hell. Okay, confession time. The only reason I've written these words is to have something to frame my photos of the Orchid Show, "Feelin' Groovy," which runs until March 22. That mission is accomplished. Tickets to the show are $16 if you are an adult living in Cook County, and $16 if you don't live in Cook County, which makes me wonder why the Botanic Garden makes the distinction at all. Plus $9 per person to get in. And $10 parking.
If that seems like a lot, remember: annual memberships start at $141 for an individual. It's worth it. We go dozens of times a year. The answer to the question, "Should we go to the Botanic Garden is alway, always, always, "Yes!" Even when there are orchids.
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