Flashback 2003: Burying oneself in Joyce brings more than 1 benefit

      Today is the 16th of June, aka Bloomsday, the day in which the entirety of James Joyce's "Ulysses" takes place. I never did finish the famed cinderblock of a novel. To be honest, I never got very far into it. But that did't stop me from having fun with it.

     With potscrape, clump and a gurgle, the blackgreen was pipingily poured into a blazing white soft cup — O joi de cafe! Noir et chaud! — and together, cup and I, went brim-sipping, shuffling, striding, stepping over the iceblue speckled gumsmeared carpeting back to my officespace....
     Sorry. Too much time reading James Joyce. I had to try my hand at parody, mediocre though it may be. June 16 was not only my youngest son's 6th birthday, but "Bloomsday," the day of the year on which the entire action of Joyce's massive novel Ulysses occurs in Dublin in 1905.
     Realizing that next year will be the book's centennial, I started trying to read Ulysses — every few years, I've given it a shot, made some progress, then given up.
     Just like dieting.
     The book is not light summer reading. After more than two weeks of effort, I'm only about 50 pages into it, sawing through the text, still in the part where Stephen Dedalus drags his sorry self around Dublin, musing on Catholicism and his dead mother.
     Not that the book is without pleasure, in spots. Joyce is a good writer (that sounds obvious, but in modern society, we have room for one adjective attached to each person in history, and Joyce — impenetrable. Yet he often writes clearly, with memorable description. The sea has "molten pewter surf," a pier becomes, wonderfully, "a disappointed bridge." Dedalus tells his doddering, anti-Semite boss, "History . . . is a nightmare from which I'm trying to awake." I had heard that famous line before, unmoored from its context, and running into it in the middle of a page was a small joy, like that cliched wedding march popping out of Wagner's "Lohengrin").

Top 10 reasons to read Joyce

     I should pause here and welcome all the new readers picked up from my appearing on "The O'Reilly Factor" earlier in the week. I put in a few paragraphs about Joyce just to turn off as many religious fanatics as I could — I figure, they'll start reading, decide their ox isn't being gored, then move on, sniffing the ground for the next thing to offend them.
     For those who missed last week's column, I used my visit to an Orthodox synagogue as a jumping-off point to argue that religion shouldn't be used in the government to, oh for instance, deny homosexuals their civil rights.
     That managed the neat trick of offending both the Orthodox, who resented — well, I never did figure out what they were upset about — and right-wing Christians, irked at the suggestion the United States isn't just an adjunct to church, like a big parking lot.
     As if I weren't being beaten down enough, I go on this show. My fault. I never watch that sort of thing, and only had a vague idea that "The O'Reilly Factor" is a big deal (a feather in my cap!) so I went on, not realizing it would be some Bible Belt boob asking me a question, then, as I started to answer, screaming at me. Jenny Jones for people who went to college, and punishment for the vanity of wanting to be on TV.
     The line that got me thrown off the show was, as best I can remember, "You have to understand, if you're not Christian, then Christianity is just another religion, just like a tree cult." In other words, it's possible not to believe. We are allowed not to. Right?
     As queasy as I felt after the show, viewer reaction made up for it. Yes, I heard from a few of those either enlightened by Christ ("Jew Bastard!" a guy screamed on the phone, hanging up) or embroidered with the richness of Orthodox Judaism ("I'd advise you not to come back to our synagogue," said a member of the unnamed congregation in my column).
     But in the main, most people understood that this is America, that people should keep their religion in its place, and not try to use the government to cram it down the throats of the unwilling. Just because the Bible tells you to poke your nose into somebody's bedroom doesn't make it your right.
     Frankly, now that the sour taste of appearing on Fox has passed, I'm left quite encouraged. The pendulum swings, but going rightward it never quite gets back to the Lost Eden that the fundamentalists are grasping so frantically toward, and swinging left a new group of previously shunned people somehow scrambles aboard and takes seats next to us, as we squirm against the window, for a while. Religion as a coercive force is on the wane outside of the Muslim world. The harder that America's home-grown mullahs push to go back, the more America swings away toward its accepting future.
     Some people jump from the beginning of a column to the end, so I should return to my subject at hand, just to throw them off.

More dull stuff about 'Ulysses'

     I should make it clear that I am not suggesting you go out and read Ulysses. Unlike some, my life is not enhanced knowing the world is exactly like me. Nor, if you are, say, reading the latest Tom Clancy thriller, am I putting you down. I wouldn't dream of writing to you, first damning your choice of books, then inviting you to join me in the rarified world of James Joyce. That would be pompous and insulting. But believe it or not, people do just that, though not so much with books as they do, oh for instance, with religion.

     — Originally published in the Sun-Times, July 4, 2003