Tuesday, September 22, 2015

One less GOP hopeful to laugh at


     The parade of dunces that the Republican Party has been marching through America's living rooms over the summer was just too entertaining to last. Inevitable that the lowest, most rotten fruit would drop away. Last week it was Rick Perry collapsing in a heap, after making a game but failed effort to overcome his humiliating gaffe of 2012, when he demanded the closing of three federal agencies, but just couldn't name that third one, not off the top of his head. The new glasses did not help.
    Monday was Scott Walker's turn to cease—no, no, "suspend," his campaign, a mere pause just in case the nation wants to fall to its knees and beg him to stay in the race. 
    Won't happen. The pride of Wisconsin, who most recently polled at 0.5 percent of the likely Republican voters, declared that other doomed candidates would take his lead and quit too so the party could focus on finding somebody to counter Donald Trump, who's been spanking their bottoms for months now. He seems to be forgetting that his whole problem is none of the voters care what he says or does, so the odds of his erstwhile opponents doing so are pretty slim. 
     Walker made the mistake of believing that dominating Madison made him fit to conquer the world. He actually said that if he could face down 100,000 angry union members, outraged over his keelhauling of government employee rights, he could take on ISIS too. Though my favorite shred of Walker stupidity was when he appeared on Meet the Press, and told Chuck Todd that building a wall along the 4,000 mile border with Canada was a "legitimate" idea to keep out the terrorists who might start pouring over any moment now. (Add his recent invitation to Ben Carson to drop his trousers and reveal his shameful bigotry, and Chuck Todd is becoming the go-to guy for egging on self-immolating Republicans) .
     Walker's downfall seems to be that he was out-crazied by Donald Trump. The charisma-challenged Walker lost the lunatic fringe and thus the footrace to the bottom of the American soul. 
     So a big bye-bye as Walker bites his lip and confronts a future where the harm he can do is limited to Wisconsin. 
     Now the question is: who's next? Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal would be a natural, though there is real doubt whether he possesses the self-awareness needed to quit. Lindsey Graham does, at least, have the photo receptors and ganglionic clump that Jindal lacks, which might inspire him to look around, see where he is on the evolutionary scale, and go home. He does have a sense of decency that makes him unelectable as a GOP contender -- he actually chided Carson for his vile bigotry about Muslims, which, in Republican circles, is the equivalent of joining Jane Fonda for an inspection of North Vietnamese gun emplacements. But Graham did moderately well at last week's loser consolation undercard debate, and that probably splashes enough water in the face of his swooning campaign that it can endure a few more turns of the thumbscrews. 
    No, Rick Santorum is the next baby GOP baby bird to be pushed out of the presidential campaign nest .Santorum, whose very name has morphed into a term for a gross sexual byproduct -- a usage that is certain to outlive him, the way "bowdlerize" lived on long after Thomas Bowlder— couldn't even distinguish himself in the pageant of midgets, his performance drawing comments like "lackluster" and "weak." Given the blats of ridicule he receives, expect him to slink off with whatever injured dignity he can muster, I'd say by St. Crispin's Day, or Oct. 25. 
      My wife, by the way, using her generally spot-on intuition, announced at supper Monday night that Marco Rubio will get the nomination and win the presidency because he is young, handsome, and seems able to gull GOP diehards into thinking he's crazier than he actually is, then reversing course and tacking toward a generally acceptable flirtation with rationality when the general election rolls around. We could do a lot worse.
     


16 comments:

  1. Get the nomination? Maybe. Win the general election? No way. He will not be able to hide "his crazy" for the next year.

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  2. In my opinion, the worst Scott Walker gaff was calling on President Obama to cancel a state dinner for Chinese President Xi Jingping. The current meltdown in the global equity markets is centered on the collapse of the Chinese stock market. A component in stabilizing markets is building investor confidence, that is a belief in the future for favorable market conditions based on profitable trade. Unfortunately Scott Walker wasn't the only genius, Marco Rubio also embraces this foreign policy position.

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  3. The Ghost of Christmas PastSeptember 22, 2015 at 7:40 AM

    My own prediction is that whoever the GOP nominee is will be elected President in 2016. And it may well be Trump. Makes no difference to me as I think all Democrats and Republicans are equally vile and ultimately irrelevant to the real movements for change happening in the streets. ROCK AND ROLL!

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    1. Pretty to think so. But the failure of the whole Occupy movement is mistaking fun street theater for actual change.

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  4. I disagree on Santorum being next man out - he has no clue that he's washed up, and he'll go on, the combination of Lar Daley and the Energizer Bunny.

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    1. Of course Santorum brings to life the phrase, "More Catholic than the Pope."

      john

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  5. The media flavor of the week seems to be Carly Fiorino, characterized by many as an American incarnation of Britain's Margaret Thatcher. Which brings to mind a description of that fearsome lady by an English comic: "Like Ronald Reagan but with a bigger penis."

    Tom Evans

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  6. The observations about Rubio becoming our next President brought the realization home that it's at least 50/50 that one of these goofy Republicans will be anointed our leader all too soon. The incessant criticism of Hillary has poisoned even my mind and Bernie is unelectable, no matter how attractive his ideas are. Oh well, we survived Nixon, Reagan and GW. Marco could be worse, I guess, but will probably ease back from the abyss once he's actually President.

    john

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  7. Let's not forget Walker slashing benefits for the poor, then turning around and committing tens of millions of dollars for a new stadium for the Milwaukee Bucks, a team nearly as uninspiring as he is. All to service the team's owners, who just happened to have contributed heavily to his campaigns.

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    1. I listen to Wisconsin Public Radio, which gives me a skewed notion of the demographic, so I was shocked and amazed that Walker survived the recall vote. After all, this was a State that had a Socialist governor at one time. The pendulum has certainly swung way over.

      john

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    2. the long time Mayor of Milwaukee was a socialist. Don't recall hearing about a governor.

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  8. Now if we could just get rid of ALL of the rest of them!

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    1. As someone once said, "The mediocre deserve representation too."

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  9. I was kinda hoping Kasich would survive the Tea Party candidates burn out, as Trump has taken over their supporters. Only the truly psychotic will vote for Cruz if Trump finally stumbles. I don't think Rubio has enough support to prevail in the long run; he's not crazy enough.

    Walker's biggest surprise was how fast his former big money supporters dropped him. I don't think he has a future in national politics.

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  10. I'm looking forward to Trump's appearance on the Late Show tonight. The contrast of depth between him and Colbert should be entertaining.

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  11. Rubio won't be nominated nor make the presidency! How ANYONE can think that Tea Party candidates can win ' blue states ' , no matter what they look like, is strange. Outside of Florida, Rubio's only known for attacking Obama on everything. Yet, pandering to his far right-wing base, he offers no plausible solutions to the contrary on national issues and his opposition to restoring diplomatic relations and travel with Cuba prove how ' out of touch ' he is with 21st-century foreign policy.

    Meanwhile, the ' Donald Trump and the 15 Dwarfs ' show continues playing. Ben Carson is the latest of the lot to begin self-destructing, thanks to his anti-Muslim remarks much like Trumps anti-Illegal Immigrant comments, greatly hurt his electability outside Tea Party constituency.

    Fiorina, like most CEOs, is too abrasive and lacks the charisma to lead a diverse nation. Despite professing pride about her stint leading HP, she still carries plenty of ' baggage ' that's somewhat similar to Hilary Clinton's stint as Secretary of State. Also, just like Rubio, her openly hostile stance against Obama policies and positions alienate her from his die-hard base that is still significant during the end of his final term in the presidency.

    The remaining candidates were never going anywhere but back home from the start of their campaigns. Jindal, Santorum, Graham, Etc. were delusional to believe that outside their home states their ' mass appeal ' was greater than it is.

    As for ' The Donald ' (Trump) .... Even he if he were honest, would admit how surprised he is that he's not only still in this race but in the lead. But, the problem with such anti-establishment campaigns as his is they gain steam for only so long before most of the bandwagon followers ' come to their senses ' and return to familiar territory and Trump is too unpredictable even for most of them.... " Better is the devil that you know than the one you don't! " Even if Trump survives and wins the GOP nomination, he'll be defeated in the General Election, by many of the same voters currently flocking to his rallies and cheering his rhetoric just because he is an outsider. And, when it all comes down to it, the American electorate still prefers establishment candidates that ' bring home the bacon ' as opposed to those candidates that vow to 'shake things up ' and possibly put their local interests in jeopardy.

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