Saturday, January 21, 2017

All my beautiful friends.

Cynthia Lerner
    Every day beautiful women reach out to me. At least one. On Friday morning it was two, Cynthia Lerner and Marylou Wells. Usually I don't even glance at them before batting them aside. Such is my overabundance of friendly females.
     But for journalistic purposes I decided to accept their proffered friendship on Facebook.
Marylou Wells
      I'm not alone. Oh look, Cynthia's friend, an ... older gentleman employed at the Tribune. And a publicist of my acquaintance is also friends with Miss Lerner, and why not? She speaks Russian, Spanish, Portuguese and French. A polyglot. No wonder my communications associates find her intriguing.
    And Marylou, rocking the glasses. Joined a week ago and 148 friends already. She only speaks Portuguese, Russian and French.  Must be working on her Spanish.
Arlene Rodgers
    Not to forget Arlene Rogers, whose Facebook posts tend toward simple declarative sentences like "HALLO ALL" and "WORK" and "i like sex." Well who doesn't, Arlene? Not to get personal—though we ARE friends now—the whole giant coral pink bees-stung lips thing? It's a very Donald Trump look. Just sayin'.
Alice Melissa
    Alice Melissa just joined Facebook. It's amazing the number of pretty young women who sign up for Facebook and then immediately run to friend me. Quite the compliment. Though she looks an awful lot like Arlene Rodgers, does she not? Maybe they are sisters.
Barbie Ronnie Buffy
     Personal information about these young women tends to be scant. Modesty, I assume. All that Barbie Ronnie Buffy tells us is she lives in Macomb, Illinois.  She doesn't mention it, but Macomb is a town of about 21,000 souls, midway between Peoria and the Quad Cities, in western Illinois. I imagine Barbie Ronnie really stands out there.
Betty Otto Walker
    Okay, enough disingenuousness. All these photos are scams, of course, hooks baited with chunks of cheesecake plucked off the web and dangled before gullible men.
     The true purpose is indicated by Betty Otto Walker's first status line: "Hello single, I'm online right now, please sext me," is a hint what these are. Con games, designed to lure in the lonely and gullible, who then either are conned into sending money to their honeys or, if they are unwise enough to take Betty's hint and send compromising photos of themselves, then are promptly blackmailed.
     Or so I read. Luckily I've always checked to see who is friending me, and ignored those who had just joined, or whose profile photo seemed plucked from some cheap Bulgarian fashion magazine. I do glance at their friends, grids of older gentlemen, or lanky young men who haven't figured out this is an illusion, or have but don't care. To me, as much as I like having lots of Facebook friends, including these would suggest being either a hound or a dupe. I didn't even like friending them momentarily, for research purposes, and promptly unfriended my entire harem. 
     Be careful online. Things are not what they appear. The man who was inaugurated Friday reminds us of the human tendency to embrace an attractive fraud. 



  1. He seemed to have a "deer in the headlights" look when he was about to sign that exec. order. Someone had to point 3x to show him where to sign. When he begins the ACA repeal,pre-existing conditions are certainly a concern, if insurance companies can go back to turning people down anytime. Finally, he certainly has gained a lot of weight since the election. But he doesn't have insurance coverage concerns if he gets ill.

  2. This is what happened to Ron Sandack right? I disagreed with him on many things, and I'm glad he left office, but he never seemed stupid. Just weak, I guess.

  3. odd choice of a theme for a post on the day of the womens march on washington? very odd

    1. My wife pointed that out. Honestly, it was a Saturday, I thought I'd revive the Saturday contest with an enigmatic photo from the Hancock elevator, realized a Google search would crack it in an instant, so went for this, which I wrote weeks ago. I'm just one guy. I'm not the fucking New York Times. I don't sit in a room with a lucite map of the world and a calendar and plot these posts out. Sheesh.

    2. Well, it IS about women, so there's that. (Alice Melissa looks suspiciously similar to Cynthia Lerner :)


    3. i was actually enjoying the piece of fluff until i realized . not a big deal Neil.

  4. Next do a column on why some men agree to believe the fairy tale? If and where the line of fantasy ends. Pretend is fun..but only to a point. Where i$$that point?

  5. Next do a column on why some men agree to believe the fairy tale? If and where the line of fantasy ends. Pretend is fun..but only to a point. Where i$$that point?

  6. Concerning the human tendency to embrace an attractive fraud, I was reminded that Trumpism is not an entirely new phenomenon by rereading Johnathan Swift' "Essay on the art of political lying." To wit:

    "There is one essential point wherein the political lyer differs from others of the faculty, that he ought to have but a short memory, which is necessary according to the various occasions he meets with every hour of differing from himself and swearing to both sides of a contradiction."

    Our hope is that the contradictory lying boasts of Mr. Trump will be found out and his ardent followers will turn on him, but Dean Swift isn't so sure.

    "Some people think that an accomplishment such as this can be of no great use to the owner, or his party. Not so.....Falshood flies and truth comes limping after it, so that when men are undeceived it is too late: the jest is over and the tale has had its effect; like a man who has thought of a good repartee when the discourse has changed or the company parted: or like a phsician who has found out an infallible medicine after the patient is dead."

    Tom Evans

  7. FWIW, Cynthia Lerner's real name apparently is Acacia Brinley. Acacia seems to be some sort of actress, although what she's appeared in is a bit of a mystery.


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