Going to many parties this year? Me either. None at all, in fact. Which is great. One of the guilty secrets of COVID is that the pandemic is a jubilee for us introverts. You mean we can’t go into crowded places? Or to the office? Or out of the house? Yessssss!
Introversion always struck me as a personal flaw. We’re all supposed to be salesmen for our own personal brands, striding up to strangers with a gleaming grin and a firm handshake. I never thought of shyness as a valuable skill that could be shared, until I saw this tweet mocking O The Oprah Magazine for printing yet another article on how to be more outgoing:
The thought bubbled up: Hey ... wait a minute. I could write such an article.
Perhaps now is the moment, during the holiday hubbub. A bit of introversion might make it easier for everybody involved; might mute, just a little, the chest drumming of the relentlessly gregarious. Especially those who get into arguments, blurt out hurtful opinions they later regret, and otherwise dig a deep hole with their mouths they then have to try to climb out of, somehow.
It’s worth a try. Here are five tips on how to be more quiet and reflective in social settings:
1. Shut up. Take your hand and put it against your lips. Are they moving? You might be one of the many who talk continuously, out of habit. Who take the old “Silence = Death” slogan far too literally. Take your fingers and firmly clamp your lips together. If your jaws are still working, and you’re making muffled, “Mmm mmmmm...” sounds, take in a long, deep, slow breath. It’s impossible to inhale and talk at the same time.
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Paywall. Again.
ReplyDeleteThere isn't a paywall. Are you sure it's not just asking for your email? That was the situation with others.
DeleteIf you sign up for a Sun-Times account - even without signing up for a one-time or ongoing e-subscription - you'll get access to Neil's article.
DeleteThere's a Twitter account called Introvert Problems @IntrovertProbss that's a fun read. The "problems" in the name refer to the problems introverts have dealing with extroverts.
ReplyDelete"Silent" Cal Coolidge, introvert extraordinaire, hated going to parties and meeting new people, even when it was part of his presidential duties. Supposedly at one party a woman walked up to him and said, "I just made a bet that I could get you to say more than three words. Coolidge looked at her and replied, "You lose."
ReplyDeleteMy all-time favorite Coolidge story. Actually, the only Coolidge story most people know. He claimed it never happened. He didn't generate all that many jokes, but there were a few zingers:
Delete* His first act as president, upon being sworn in after Harding died, was going back to bed.
* Silent Cal was multi-lingual...he was silent in five languages.
* A reporter asked him if he had any hobbies. To which he responded: “I hold office.”
* The daughter of Teddy Roosevelt famously described him as a man who appeared to have been “weaned on a pickle.”
* Coolidge not only insisted on sleeping 12 hours every night; he seemed determined to make that fact well-known. During the day, he almost always got in a two-hour nap. His explanation? "When you’re asleep, you can’t make any bad decisions!"
* Upon waking up, he would reportedly ask his aide, “Is the country still there?”
* Coolidge often seemed uncomfortable among fashionable Washington society; when asked why he continued to attend so many of their dinner parties, he replied: "Got to eat somewhere."
* Coolidge was aware of his stiff reputation; indeed, he cultivated it. "I think the American people want a solemn ass as a President," he once told Ethel Barrymore. "And I think I will go along with them."
Dry humor. Desert dry. He might've been a contender...for a second career in stand-up comedy. But he spoiled that possibility, by dying at 60. Dorothy Parker, upon learning of Coolidge's death, reportedly remarked, "How can they tell?"
Sounds like something Mencken might have made up.
Deletejohn
Another excellent photo pick, with that old photo of Nipper listening to the ancient gramophone.
ReplyDeleteI remember reading that the JVC [Japanese Victor Company] HQ is at number 28 on a street in Tokyo & 28 in Japanese sounds a little like "Nee Pah".
"Words are silver. Silence is golden." Tom
ReplyDeleteAnd for all these years I thought you didn't take requests! Evidently an exception has been made for Tom and Lorenzo, whom I've never heard of aside from Nancy Nall's blog. (She seems to be a fan of theirs.)
ReplyDeleteA fun column, indeed, which certainly appealed to this introvert. Also, I second Clark St.'s shout-out with regard to the photo (choice enough to be both atop the blog AND included with the post for posterity, I note!)
#3 reminds me of something I read or heard (somewhere, about some famous figure) which I'll paraphrase as "For him, the opposite of talking isn't listening, it's waiting."
As a hardcore introvert myself, I can say, Neil, that you've hit the nail on the head.
ReplyDelete