Children aren't born religious. They have to be taught. I was taught to be Jewish at home and at Beth Israel — The West Temple. "West" because it was on the West Side of Cleveland, where my family lived. I learned Hebrew, with the same sense of joy I mowed the lawn or other obligatory tasks required of me.
But Rabbi Eric Hoffman's Talmud class was different. It made me think, and I liked that. This was in the mid-1970s. I was around 16.
The Talmud consists of dozens of books of rabbinic commentary on Jewish law. For instance, the central tenet of Judaism is the Schma. A brief prayer — "Hear O Israel, the Lord is our God, the Lord is One" — said by devout Jews three times a day: morning, evening and bedtime. The question we were discussing in Talmud class was: when to say the Schma for the third time each day? Answer: at night. When is it night? When it gets dark. When does it get dark? When the stars come out. How many stars? Three. How big? Medium sized stars.
I raised my hand. Given that Reform Jews like ourselves don't say the Schma daily, never mind three times a day, I asked, why does it matter when the third time should be? Why are we learning this?
Rabbi Hoffman — a trim, compact young man with a dark black beard — explained the Talmud offers a way of thinking."Talmudic reasoning." A method of breaking down problems into basic parts; that has been very useful ever since, both personally and professionally.
What he didn't say was, "Do what you're told." Compulsion is not educational. Compulsion is slavery. The way the state of Louisiana is legally forcing all public school classrooms to display the Ten Commandments.
That bit of news drew no surprise or outrage from me, but pity for a state that is a backwater. Louisiana is called the Pelican State, but it is also the Dead Last State. The perennial bottom dweller of state rankings. The worst crime. Worst economy. Nearly dead last health care, in education. Sticking up the Ten Commandments is gilding a turd.
The real point is to float the case to the Supreme Court, where Donald Trump's missionaries can enshrine it into law and other states can follow suit, under the flag that being denied a chance to shove their own religion down everybody's throat is oppression — to the top dog religion doing the shoving, that is. Everybody else has to smile and take it.
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Your mother does the same thing I do whenever religious pests darken my door, I simply point to my mezuzah. Many of them have no idea what it is. I remember having to explain it to two old Black guys. One said to the other, as they stalked away: "Nobody ever said nuthin' 'bout no damn 'zuzah...shee-it!"
ReplyDeleteSometimes, instead merely of telling them "I'm Jewish"...I just put my index finger on it and put my straight face on, and try to say: : "This is a mojo...and it ain't working on you? . What the hell? I bought this thing to keep you clowns away...so it must be broken. Dammit! Now I gotta send it back!."
That's my way of telling them to hit the road, Jack.
Most of the time, they're still completely clueless, and the joke is completely over their heads, I hate wasting perfectly good snark. Snark is expensive these days, just like everything else.
Was it necessary to mention their race?
DeleteIf you don't, then the dialect joke crashes and burns. And makes no sense. Ain't gonna find Mormons or JWs talking that way. It is what it is.
DeleteIt's no joke that the country is so dangerously divided in so many ways. I'm right from my side and you're right from yours. So where does that leave us. Religion is and should be your own business. No religion is also your own business. There is currently a group of folks who seem to want to nationalize their religion and make it the law of the land. It's bad enough they worship at the altar of Trump. There are millions of citizens who don't share their religion. What happens to those of us who believe what we believe. I do believe the constitution clearly has a thought on this whole religion thing.
ReplyDeleteThe only ones that come to my door are the batshit crazy Jehovah's Witnesses. You can always tell when they're around, as they come in a group of maybe ten middle aged people & then they split up into pairs & ring the doorbells. If I choose to answer, which I always don't do, I always insult them, with lines like 'Go get a blood transfusion", or "send up a flag & salute it", or "I'm awaiting the return of our great lord satan."
ReplyDeleteTwo things you need to remember about the JWs: They constantly predicted the end of the world throughout the 19th Century & up to 1916, when they finally gave up that insanity, because they finally realized, that doing the same thing over & over again, with the same result isn't working.
And they used to ring the bell as early as 7AM on Saturday mornings.
What made them give that up was amazingly, Johnnie Carson telling jokes about that for years on end, until it finally got through to the fools running the place in the huge ex-printing plants they bought in Brooklyn. The JWs are very rich now, as they sold those huge buildings several years ago for about $500 million & moved their HQ to upstate New York, where they had their new buildings constructed with mostly volunteer labor from the lower ranking members, so most of that cash is either in the bank, invested or just used by the leadership to buy expensive booze, which is the sole vice that they are allowed, as the leaders have been seen doing just that at Upstate NY liquor stores!
I occasionally see the male Mormons doing their required missionary work in the city, always in pairs, always in dark pants, with white shirts & a backpack, often riding bikes around the city, but they have yet to darken my doorstep!
If they ever do, I'll just ask them about the White Salamander letter & how come every time Joseph Smith supposedly translated the gold plates he claimed to have found, the translation was different!
Because the sole reason for that lunacy was that Joe & his brother Hyrum, wanted to have sex with many women & not just one. Incredibly, somehow it caught on, again, in Upstate New York, where there were a lot of crackpot religions going around in the 1810s & 1820s.
Well said, Clark.
DeleteAlas, Babylon. And on, and on.
DeleteBut I will readily admit one thing...does Clark know his stuff sometimes.
And this is one of those times. Learned something today. Kudos!
Yup. It got so bad in upstate NY, with all the batty little religions flaming up, that it became known as the Burnt Over region.
DeleteI once overhead a devout Christian acquaintance bragging about the great interest rate he got on the loan for his new car. I told him I was surprised he would borrow money given the biblical admonition against usury. He seemed genuinely taken aback. The next day he approached me with a lopsided grin and told me that he looked it up and "that's Old Testament".
ReplyDeleteI mention this because the Commandments are, of course, Jewish in origin. The irony that this is what the Christian ideologues want on the wall escapes them.
If these Christian ideologues really wanted to put the essence of Christianity on a wall they would post the Beatitudes, Jesus's liberal, hippie, touchy feely manifesto to brotherhood in ever classroom.
Of course they prefer "commandments' regardless of its source. Its top down management style fits in more with their mind set than compassion and forgiveness.
And is anybody else puzzled that they think people need a reminder not to commit murder, not to steal, and to stay away from the neighbors wife? I'm not a biblical scholar, but these seem like fairly self evident truths to anyone not raised by wolves.
Then there is the fact that the first four commandments, a full 40 pct of the total, are stern commands to be deferential to God. Strikes me as an admission of insecurity. I'm not sure I want to profess fealty to an insecure god.
Yeah, your comment is along the lines of what I was thinking, Dennis.
DeleteOdd that those who insist that this is a "Christian nation" so often choose the Ten Commandments for their mandates. Given that they were inherited from and are more associated with Judaism. Didn't they ever watch the movie? There's not a single Christian character in it! ; )
As for the "essence of Christianity," the Beatitudes would be very good.
Of course, they never seem to focus much on those or this passage:
"One of them, an expert in the law, tested him with this question:
'Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?'
Jesus replied: '"Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind." This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: "Love your neighbor as yourself." All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.'"
The folks behind the efforts to impose their view of religion on others are just not fans of that second one, alas. It's not good for demonizing people who you don't like, so it's not what they choose to focus on.
What a great idea. Where I do sign?
ReplyDeletewhy do you have to aggravate me first thing in the morning Neil ?
ReplyDeleteWe've been through this all before and its settled law, see stone v graham building upon lemon v Kurtzman.
Besides how are the 10 commandments seen as enforcing christianity when as you point out their from the Old Testament .
You're responsible for what you choose to be annoyed by, FME, not me. Is there settled law? Not anymore. As for the last question, as jazz great Louis Armstrong supposedly once quipped when asked to explain jazz: "If you have to ask, you'll never know.'
DeleteOh I know.
DeleteI used the phrasing of the recently
installed supreme Court justices during their nomination hearings on purpose.
Of course they say one thing then and do another now.
I definitely choose what I'm annoyed by and every news outlet in America is talking about Louisiana 's Governor like you somehow could have avoided this issue. I expect more from you
FME: There are multiple versions of the 10 commandments and the legislature chose one of the many Christian versions. But the objection to posting isn't because it promotes Christianity. The objection is that it is religious, not secular, and public schools have no business promoting ANY religious beliefs to students.
DeleteThe Catholic Church near me has the Ten Commandments posted on signs on either side of the church. Unwavering universal truths. Except that the two sets of commandments weren't the same. Hmmm.
DeleteFantastic article! Actually, let’s keep religion out of everything except history classes. Religion, like sex, is private. I don’t want to know about anyone else’s. And missionaries, as a sort of Christian, so embarrassing
ReplyDeleteIntolerance is at the heart of Christianity, starting with the words of Jesus: "He that is not with me is against me."
ReplyDeleteChristians thrive on opposition, but they absolutely cannot endure being ignored. Everyone must pay attention to them, and those who don't do it voluntarily will be made to do so by force of law.
I am very interested in what your response is regarding this piece. Not necessarily from here on AGDD, but more from the general Sun Times and internet denizens.
ReplyDeleteWere they generally positive? Did the antisemitism flow like mighty Mississippi when it reaches flood stage? Was it lost to the constant bombardment of "Freedom is the freedom to choose from the list of what i give you."
I've often felt the same as you, while 20 years separated our Talmudic lessons, it's comforting to know that 350 miles is not so different at all. But perhaps that is also why I'm frustrated by the labuvitures and their street side tifilin time.
Live a righteous life, they told me. And then we debated what it meant to be righteous. March on Washington with Dr. King. Drive to the south and help American Citizens beat the "tests." Pay your taxes so that those who are less fortunate are able to have dignity. Have morals. And most importantly be without the need to call attention to you actions.
voting matters. so does being righteous.
Good idea. Let them learn Hebrew.
ReplyDeleteI think the name of the prayer is usually rendered as “shema” or “sh’ma” and there are now rather more up to date translations that avoid using “Lord” (which is both masculine and kinda Christian-y).
ReplyDeleteEither one is correct: Shema Yisrael (Shema Israel) or Sh'ma Yisrael; Hebrew: שְׁמַע יִשְׂרָאֵל ("Hear, O Israel"). It is more commonly known as the Shema. "Schma" looks a little too much like "schmatte"--Yiddish for "a ragged or shabby garment, or other article of clothing."
DeleteIn Yiddish, a schmatte literally means "a rag." Or it can also mean a blanket, especially a child's security blanket: "Oy, vey, the tsouris! Little Stevilah can't find his schmatte!" [Direct quote from my grandmother].
Jesus Rick, it's all transliteration. I don't think there's a correct transliteration. I've seen it a scad of ways.
DeleteMoses, Neil, think economy and tradition (check your prayer book, old or new). What does the "c" contribute? (And how many is a "scad").
DeleteI wonder whether the Louisiana law specifies which translation of the Old Testament should be used. For 21st century children, the King James Version, written in Early Modern English, is a "somewhat foreign language," when compared to Contemporary English. I'm curious as to how the teachers will explain commandments like "Thou shalt not covet" or "Thou shalt not bear false witness," not to mention explaining the concept of "committing adultery" to little kids. It is, of course, possible that the legislators don't expect teachers to do more than simply place posters of the Ten Commandments in their classrooms, but if that's all the legislators expect, then why bother.
ReplyDeleteThe law specifies the exact text (see https://legis.la.gov/legis/ViewDocument.aspx?d=1382697).
DeleteI love your question about how teachers will explain some of the commandments. So ironic that the same right-wingers who think letting kids know that a family can have two moms or two dads is sexual are apparently OK about talking about actual sex, as one would need to do if a student asked "what is adultery?"
I was raised as a conservative Jew in Chicago back in the 1950's. They were stuck in their ways. but my Sunday School teachers were wise and patient enough to respond to my questions in a similar way as your rabbi. One question I asked was why there weren't more converts & why we don't proselytize. The answer was that we make it difficult to become a Jew and a person must truly want to convert. They must studyTorah and the laws more than we as Jews do. They learn what it really means to be a Jew. My teacher said with a smile that Moses was a Jew and it that would have been more difficult for him to convert than it is for someone to do it today.
ReplyDeleteAn interesting thing that I remember as a teenager was that the "Jews For Jesus" used to come to the door and proselytize to us kids. I found it strange that they would before we left for school and after our parent's went to work. (Back then we were called latch key kids and were responsible to get ourselves to school without supervision.)
Today I belong to an all inclusive reform congregation. My second husband was raised Catholic. He enjoyed the services and felt that it was a place he belonged. He didn't feel the need to convert & nobody expected him to. I sat Shiva for him when he passed away. The rabbi and the congregation even say Kaddish for him as I do on his Yahrzeit.
Your last half-dozen senences really touched me. Zei gesunt and all the best.
DeleteLouisiana just sheds an even harsher light on how the right uses its cultural grievances to avoid solving any real world problems, and more importantly, to avoid spending money on them. The allergy to government spending is even illustrated by this ridiculous unfunded mandate. They are looking to private donors to pay for their values signaling. A good project for wealthy Mr. Mellon?
ReplyDeleteI have a saying, borne of experience. Every time I try to be more spiritual religion gets in the way. I know religion isn’t all bad and does some good things. Feeding the poor and needy, running hospitals and food pantries, etc. Yet I’m convinced that it is all a net negative in the end. The endless wars, the justification for unspeakable violence in the name of whatever god you believe most divine, it’s mind numbing and endless. And the way it is being weaponized in this country could well be its undoing. “Make no law respecting an establishment of religion,” it’s right there for you yet the GQP still wants to cram this shit down our throats. If only they’d study the first amendment with the profound admiration that they devote to the second one. Although that might not matter - they routinely parse the words regarding “a well regulated militia “ to the point that they don’t exist. But I digress - religion is taught, as Neil says, it is not innate. And if they waited to teach it until you were a fully formed adult, I’m guessing most of us would chuckle at the fairy tales.
ReplyDeleteFor those who don't take these things as seriously as others, I recommend The Year of Living Biblically: One Man's Humble Quest to follow the Bible as Literally as Possible by A. J. Jacobs. He claims to have invited Jehovah Witnesses into his house and belabored them with questions and suggestions until they fled like exorcised demons along with other hilarious tidbits about reconciling reality with Biblical injunctions.
ReplyDeletejohn
Landry’s religious impulses are rather selective. Earlier this year, he declined about $70 million of federal aid that would feed the state’s food-insecure schoolchildren over the summer, on the grounds that “…families deserve a pathway to self-sufficiency.” To be accurate, he declined to provide the $3.5 million of state funds that was required to participate in the federal program. Fortunately, the legislature did end up funding the program.
ReplyDeleteCoey
Perfect analogy
ReplyDeleteDevout Christians who feel compelled to go around trying to convert others are not lost souls wandering through tenebrous forests hoping to find companions to accompany them through the spooky abyss, contrary to what the Rabbi implied (I know and am related to some of these folks, so I kind of know how they roll). They are generally just people who feel that their faith has played a vital role in their lives and are trying to spread the good cheer, not unlike the sort of enthusiasts who gush effusively about how great this movie or that musical artist is and how you just HAVE to see or hear them.
ReplyDeleteI couldn't help notice the comment about LA (gilding the turd) was in the emailed version but not the ST version. Who clipped it?
ReplyDelete