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| A Vanitas Still Life, by Pieter Claesz (Franz Hals Museum) |
COVID must have had something to do with it. Society shut down. More than a million Americans died —a fact our nation just shrugged off. We all stopped going to work and despite continual corporate vows to the contrary, never really went back.
It's not just perception. The world is definitely more menacing. In his second term, Donald Trump has gotten better at destroying America, and has an army of lapdogs and sycophants eager to help him. But life also just seems more disordered, chaotic, confusing, objectionable.
Last Wednesday I wrote a column analyzing the word "fuck," since Gov. JB Pritzker told our loathsome leader to "fuck all the way off." It was dashed in the paper, f - - -, but I was amazed they ran it at all. These are desperate times, and I think the general timidity that can affect newspaper editors is being sandblasted away by children being snatched off the street and sent to detention centers in Texas. Now is not the time to debate fine points.
Regarding "fuck," a number of readers felt Pritzker shouldn't have said it. "I was taught casual swearing is laziness at best and a corrupted heart at worst," one sniffed. Which did not strike me as odd until I noticed this post, from 2018, "Is Ivanka Trump a feckless cunt." It had ... just a more buoyant spirit to it. No one in the comments dabbed a perfumed hankie to their lips and recoiled in horror from the term.
Regarding "fuck," a number of readers felt Pritzker shouldn't have said it. "I was taught casual swearing is laziness at best and a corrupted heart at worst," one sniffed. Which did not strike me as odd until I noticed this post, from 2018, "Is Ivanka Trump a feckless cunt." It had ... just a more buoyant spirit to it. No one in the comments dabbed a perfumed hankie to their lips and recoiled in horror from the term.
Sure, maybe it was because I wrote it exclusively for the blog, with none of the toning down that a newspaper requires. That could be it.
Still, I thought to myself: "We're growing old, all of us, me and the readers combined, a bunch of seniors in a barrel going over the falls of life, heading to the rocks."
Too stark? Maybe because a certain reader weighs in, in a footnote, brushing off my concerns, "Honey, I'm your mother. C'mon," and I realized again how much I miss her. Maybe because another colleague died the other day, Mo Cotter. Almost a quarter century on the copy desk. I remember her only vaguely: no-nonsense, in a good way, with just a crinkle of humor at the corner of an eagle eye. I plugged her name into gmail, and years of interactions came up, mostly her telling me I'd made some goof and she was fixing it, half courtesy, half reprimand. In 2012 I'd quoted a St. Josephinum English teacher Haley Coller. "I find a Hayley Keller on the school's faculty list," Cotter wrote. "OK if I change it?"
Too stark? Maybe because a certain reader weighs in, in a footnote, brushing off my concerns, "Honey, I'm your mother. C'mon," and I realized again how much I miss her. Maybe because another colleague died the other day, Mo Cotter. Almost a quarter century on the copy desk. I remember her only vaguely: no-nonsense, in a good way, with just a crinkle of humor at the corner of an eagle eye. I plugged her name into gmail, and years of interactions came up, mostly her telling me I'd made some goof and she was fixing it, half courtesy, half reprimand. In 2012 I'd quoted a St. Josephinum English teacher Haley Coller. "I find a Hayley Keller on the school's faculty list," Cotter wrote. "OK if I change it?"
Shit yes. I felt like a man, about to step off a cliff, who felt a sudden tug on his shirt. Mistakes are bad and screwing up names is particular bad. The scar of the Medill F stung. I thanked her profusely.
"That's my job," Cotter replied, with customary terseness.
"That's my job," Cotter replied, with customary terseness.
"Nevertheless, not everyone would look that up — I should have and didn't," I continued, "— so I appreciate you sparing me a lousy day tomorrow."
"If I don't know a name or if it just looks funny, I look it up," she wrote back, subtly reminding me: do better. "I'm always happy to save a reporter's ass."
"If I don't know a name or if it just looks funny, I look it up," she wrote back, subtly reminding me: do better. "I'm always happy to save a reporter's ass."
Mo was 64. A year younger than me.
I made that last quote into the headline of today's post, as a kind of tribute, looked at it, and realized there was no possessive in "reporters." Had Cotter made a mistake herself? I thought, with a flash of something like excitement — we reporters secretly loved the rare-to-almost nonexistent times it is the copy desk in error. I glanced at her email. No, the fault was mine, of course. She used it. I dropped the possessive, typing the line in. Should have cut and pasted. We have to be so careful not to drop things, in the shortening period before, one fine day, everything simply drops.
I'm far more offended by the disgusting fact that Ivanka claims to be Jewish!
ReplyDeleteThe pope is more Jewish than she is!
A lovely tribute, thank you.
ReplyDeleteI am surprised you are so willing to buy into the age biases in our society as if diminished abilities are so inevitable. Invite you to read This Chair Rocks: A Manifesto Against Ageism, written by Ashton Applewhite and interview Gail Zelitzky and Carherine Marienau, the co-founders of Women Over 70 Aging Reimagined.
ReplyDeleteMaybe you could clarify what you're talking about. The idea that older people tend to lose their edge? That isn't a bias, it's a fact. As I sometimes tell bigots, you're aren't refuting my argument, you're manifesting it.
DeleteI hope you are not comparing Diane to a bigot I'm not sure exactly if that's the case maybe she's not realistic a lot of people want to fool themselves about old age but anyway it seems harsh and unnecessary.
DeleteWe are all going to die that's fact.
We all get old is not
We all will suffer the ravages of old age. To some degree. Maybe Diane is right and it can be lessened?
Anyway you've got some bad grammar or something in your terse reply.
DeletePeople love you. Love them back
That isn't bad grammar, it's a typo. But your point is well taken. I can be a bit snippy when answering readers. I try not to. But it happens.
DeleteYou don’t seem very open to considering that unconscious biases exist relative to aging in our society and that people losing their edge may be more varied as in their edges are varied. Jane Goodall remained vibrant, engaged, and contributing until she drew her last breath. I’m a huge fan of yours re your intellect, insights, and superb writing skills and merely said I was surprised at your attitude about aging and wonder if you have read Applewhite’s book? If not, you might view aging differently after reading it.
DeleteAnd you don't seem very open to explaining what you mean to someone who doesn't see an argument in your initial comment. "Maybe you could clarify what you're talking about" is not close-mindedness in the traditional sense. "Jane Goodall remained vibrant..." etc. is not an argument either. One swallow does not a summer make. I appreciate your being a fan, but you seem to be releasing some kind of positive mist and expecting everyone to breath deeply. People grow old, their faculties diminish and they die. If you want to convince me that it isn't so, you're going to have to work a little harder than you've been doing so far. I would expect as much from a faithful reader.
DeleteSnippy or sniffy?
DeleteI'm a little late to the game here, and this may not be exactly what you were discussing. But as a retirement aged person who still finds themselves in the workforce, I can attest to the unconscious age bias in the workplace. I have more knowledge of my job than just about anyone I work with, but I had to finally admit, although it's a bit hurtful, that when people enter our office, they will automatically go right towards my younger coworkers. Or sometimes after I've explained something to them, they will look to the younger person for clarification, as if not sure the old chick knows what she's talking about
DeleteWithout a doubt.
DeleteA somber column for a somber time. Winter is here, in more way than one. Or two.
ReplyDeleteHere's someone totally deserving that word: Cindy Adams, the NY Post's demented 94 year old columnist wrote this today about Joe Biden: "As Biden sits in his basement spooning oatmeal off his chest and that caretaker wife scrapes off his ties"
ReplyDeleteActually,l I believe cunt is far too mild as to what she is!
Hard to believe that any actual newspaper in America would allow such disgusting shit be written about anyone, but then, it's owned by that rotten to the core alien, 94 year old Rupert Murdoch, who is the one responsible for the extreme right wing in this country!
Murdoch merely capitalized on the latent fascism of a solid minority of Americans. Father Coughlin and Charles Lindbergh, among numerous others, were at it long before he ever had a presence here.
DeleteDon't read either the N.Y. Daily News or the N.Y. Post (or even the Times, for that matter). They've always been tabloid rags, not fit for lining birdcages. Had to look up the dirt on this 95-year-old Cindy Adams bitch, who seems to make Kup look and sound like another Hemingway.
DeleteThe entire quote:
"As Biden sits in his basement spooning oatmeal off his chest and that caretaker wife scrapes off his ties...Tough to get good material nowadays. The real jokes are all up in Albany" (New York's capital).
So why say something so partisan and so infantile? If this doddering old Noo Yawk c-word believes that Joe Biden has dementia, then where is the joke? That's not humor...that's merely cruelty and vindictive bitchiness. There's nothing funny about dementia. Millions of families endure dementia daily, and deal with its victims. My wife's older brother is one of them.
Just another rude, crude, and snarky gossip columnist. They lie like rugs. They lie down with dogs and write about the fleas. They deal in and trade in lies, smears, and innuendo. They lie about themselves and their personal lives, as well. Most of them died off long ago. Guys and dolls like Winchell and Herb Caen and Maggie Daly. But New Yorkers, for all their pretensions and alleged sophistication, still seem to lap that slop up--and then come back for seconds. And thirds.
I loved Joe. I still love Joe. I lament what happened to him. Senility...and cancer, too. How I wish he could have hung on long enough to kick Felonious to the curb again...and to send him to the barred rubber room where he belongs. We would be a different America now. And a better one.
Joe saved us from a horrible fate. Imagine if he had not been POTUS during the plague years of '21 and '22. How many more millions, alive today, would now be lying quietly in their graves?
Unlike 45-47, history will look kindly upon the dash...on 46.
Joseph R. Biden.
God, I miss him.
I have been listening old episodes of the podcast Is This a Democracy. While the podcast started in Nov of 2022, there are only 44 episodes and the last one was in June. Still kind of interesting to listen to. I am listening an episode from February of 24. The discussion was about Biden. There was discussion even then whether he should drop out. Since I have not reached the end of the podcast I don't know if the two hosts think he should have. They did a podcast in April and then the final one was in June. The air date of the podcast was Feb 23rd. One of the host felt it was to late for candidates to jump into the primaries. A suggestion from Ezra Klein was to have an open convention. Which they could have had. Of course when this podcast was aired Biden didn't have that terrible debate performance. Even if Biden had a great performance I don't know if that would have been good enough
DeleteYour columns & letters are always worth reading all the way through, this one especially for your wonderful tribute to Mo Cotter.
ReplyDeletePerhaps it is because it is the only way i seem to be able to cope -- or maybe its the addictiveness of social media slash the current rendition of the internet -- but I've seen a lot of clips from Adam Mockler. Adam does a very good job of not letting republican or conservatives practice their pathetic whataboutism or i can do it but you can't way of politicking. It's refreshing to see.
ReplyDeleteFollowing the murder of Charlie Kirk and the rights delusional statements and claims that it is the left that is inciting violence Adam expertly destroys their argument by talking about all the ways Donald Trump has normalized the hate speech without so much as a peep from the right and explaining how he's grown up in a world where this is normal. Which on a side note is horrific.
I bring this up because your piece today continues to point out how people seem to be so upset with a dashed word, that they completely miss the point (and how important that dashed word is).
You are right, Neil. The world has changed. The "civilized" guard rails are gone. The stoic leadership we once looked up to are dead. The beacons of freedom that our media stood form have been snuffed out by the very evil they were supposed to protect us from. Our parents, who we looked for to help keep us in line and look to for guidance have left us.
Fuck... we're in a bad spot. And i am extremely thankful that the Sun Times has the courage and fortitude to run your oped, even if they did dash most of it.
As a wise man once said the news if fungible, the Sun Times is an attitude. I am very grateful that they continue to lean into that attitude and allow the truth to be stated... even if the edges are still rounded off a bit.
Thanks for the link to the nice remembrance in the Sun-Times of Mo Cotter by Mitch Dudek. Passed at 64, too young, but I was even sadder to read she had dementia and had retired seven years ago. Now that's WAY too young.-- Anthony C.
ReplyDeleteI'm older than the pope.
ReplyDeleteYeah, same here. By eight full years. And 78 is not 70. I can say "pushing 80" now, and it's for real. The trip we took to Carbondale (on my 70th birthday, for the first of the two solar eclipses), is etched upon my mind. But it's in the rear-view mirror now.
DeleteWhile living through my 60s, I felt I was still one of the "young old"...but now the "young" is definitely gone, and the clock ticks. ever more loudly and more insistently. Being among the "old old" (one's 80s) is just down the road...if I make it that far.
Geezerhood itself is like trying to keep an old car running. One thing after another, and it never stops. Circulation, joints, the processes of elimination, eyes, ears, chewing, swallowing. Having COVID definitely hastens the aging process. COVID is like having a serious accident in that car. It either gets junked, or it just limps along more painfully. The wheezing and the shortness of breath. I'll have them until the final whistle.
And society is still limping along, changed utterly. The empty chairs at the table. The staying home from the office. The millions with the permanent effects from the virus. The politics of grievance, resentment, fear, and xenophobia.
The world is definitely harsher, meaner, more violent, more menacing, more fascist. Donald Trump has gotten better at being worse. and at destroying America. But everyday life itself is also worse. The things that once horrified us are now routine, shrugged off, and worst of all, even seem normal.
You nailed it once again, Mister S: "We're growing old, all of us, me and the readers combined, a bunch of seniors in a barrel going over the falls of life, heading to the rocks." The edge is getting nearer, the current is stronger, the sound of the falling water grows louder...every goddamn day. Golden years, my asterisk.
Tick tock, Grizz. I'll be 71 in December.
DeleteCongratz. Happy holidays, kid.
DeleteAs a freshly retired copy editor, I appreciate you giving one this respect. I worked (for nearly 23 years) at a trade publication that was obsessed with winning awards given to trade magazines, and as I told my boss a few times, “There are no awards for copy editors. Just quiet thanks in an email or Slack channel.”
ReplyDeleteBest editor ever was Mary Jane Grandinetti at the Tribune. She did it all herself. She did not become jaded. She did not scream but you knew when you had disappointed her. And likewise she let you know when you had done well. She also was most gracious when folks would mistakenly call Jim Mateja her "boss" or the Trib's "Automotive Chief." (He was neither.) A second great Tribune editor was a guy named Steve Lowe who is mostly forgotten today. Both were all about interesting stories. They had open minds.
ReplyDelete