Friday, January 4, 2019

Trump's border wall completed in latest triumph for president



     NOGALES, Arizona —The massive border wall demanded by President Donald Trump was completed today, spanning the United States’ entire 2,000 mile southern border with an impenetrable defense against the disease, filth and criminality brought by immigrants.
     Twenty feet high, made of reinforced concrete topped with gleaming spikes, it represents a stupendous achievement both in the speed in which it was built — less than two years since the president took office — and for its financing: the entire $42 billion dollar cost borne by the nation of Mexico.
     “We defer to the inexorable will of President Donald Trump,” said Mexican president Andrés Manuel López Obrador, signing a check for the final payment. “This should help our neighbor to the north remain unviolated by illegal entry of the criminals and rapists that Mexico creates in such profusion.”
     The governor of Arizona, Doug Ducey, wielded a trowel and tapped in the final, ceremonial gold-plated brick, then declared a statewide Day of Jubilee to mark the occasion, giving governmental workers a paid vacation to “enjoy their families, now free from the threat of being murdered by invasive hordes of Guatemalan refugees” and praised the clear eye and firm hand of Trump for bringing about this …

                                                                *****

     There, that should do it. Trump is famous for his brief attention span. By now he’ll have looked up, beaming, and been distracted by a shiny object. Clip the above and send it to the White House, congratulating Trump on his stunning success. Or, better, tweet it to him. Problem solved.


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11 comments:

  1. There will never be a wall on the Rio Grande at Big Bend National Park. Not only would there have to be a bunch of new laws passed by Congress to tear up the border, but that part of the border, which is 118 miles long is almost impassable, due to deep canyons & gullies.
    Only someone as dumb as Trump would try to cross over there!

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  2. It just occurred to me that I don't know exactly where the magic wall is going tlo be erected. I looked on a map and still don't understand. Is it going to separate only Texas from Mexico? Does it extend through Arizona, New Mexico and California, ending in San Diego? If it's only between TX and Mexico, what's going to stop terrorists, gangs and other evil brown people carrying hundreds of pounds of drugs from coming in thru New Mexico? It appears Donald hasn't thought this through.

    But I agree with you. He should just say that he found the funding somewhere else and contruction is starting tomorrow. In a year or so, he can tell us that the wall is built, and his supporters will believe him. If the news reports show no fence, he'll cry FAKE NEWS. After all, it told people not to believe what they see and hear. This could actually work.

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    Replies
    1. He can't really find the funding somewhere else without breaking the law. The Anti-deficiency Act originally enacted in 1884 and subsequently made part of the U.S. Code specifies penalties for spending funds not specifically authorized and appropriated by Congress. Not that he couldn't say he did it and convince his base that a phantom wall now exists.

      Tom

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  3. It could be the Emperor's New Wall, built of materials that only people who are stable geniuses and have the greatest minds w the best words can see. Agent Orange would totally fall for that.

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    Replies
    1. I'd set up a hologram, projected at any spot Trump wants to visit. I'd tell him this wall is electrified and will execute anyone trying to cross the border. He'll love it, techno wizard that he believes himself to be.

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  4. Brilliant. But I expect to see this posted on Facebook as proof that Trump has fulfilled another campaign promise.

    john

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  5. Hey, but at least the idea is great, right? Oh...

    Although a useful deterrent against raids, at several points throughout its history the Great Wall failed to stop enemies, including in 1644 when the Manchu Qing marched through the gates of Shanhai Pass and replaced the most ardent of the wall-building dynasties, the Ming, as rulers of China. - from Wikipedia.

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  6. I think the Democrats should offer dollar-for-dollar, or dollar-for-peso, matching for all funding Mexico will give for the wall.

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  7. As a practical matter, once the bloody thing is built it must be maintained. Forever. As Mr. Frost pointed out:

    "Something there is that doesn't love a wall.
    That sends the frozen ground swell under it,
    And spills the upper boulders in the sun,
    And makes gaps even two can pass abreast."

    Tom

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  8. According to Wikipedia,$500 bills are still technically legal tender in the United States,but were officially discontinued on July 14, 1969, by the Federal Reserve System, due to 'lack of use'...

    And wouldn't a COMMEMORATIVE bill be essentially worthless, like all those commemorative coins sold on late-night TV? The ones with JFK or eagles or other doo-dads on them? Or would it be like a commemorative stamp--something that actually has value and can be used?

    It would be so appropriate if those pieces of paper were as worthless as the piece of feces whose likeness was printed on it. And what color would it be? Why, orange, of course.

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    Replies
    1. No, I was thinking of commemorative half dollars, like the Booker T. Washington half, created to honor special people, yet legal tender.

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