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| Maida Mangiameli with granddaughter Sloane in 2020. |
Happy birthday Sloane! Eight years old, tomorrow. Sorry about being early, but my column doesn't run on Tuesdays, and in my profession — newspapering; ask your grandmother about it — a day early is far better than a day late.
We've never met. But your grandmother is a reader. She contacted me in October, wanting me to write something, and after patiently waiting for ... gee ... six months, told me the story about how your birth saved her life and how you inspire her every day.
Which struck me as the sort of story a little girl should hear: how she saved a life, just by showing up. Because if you can do that, without even trying, imagine what else you may do someday.
Your grandmother, Maida Mangiameli, lives — thanks to you — in Hawthorn Woods. When your mom, Kate, was pregnant with you, she did something many new mothers do — try to make the world as welcoming a place as she could for you.
There isn't much that can be done about, say, the nation sliding toward totalitarianism. But she could make sure her daughter's grandmother wasn't smoking like a chimney.
"I was a heavy smoker my entire adult life," Mangiameli said. "When my daughter and son-in-law told us we're going to be grandparents, they asked one thing: Could I please quit smoking?"
Smoking is a terrible addiction — an addiction is when something is very bad for you, but you do it anyway, because you can't stop. Mangiameli had attempted quitting before.
"I tried for my own two girls," she said. "But for that baby ..."
It took a full year. But Mangiameli, now 75, gave up smoking. Which is when her troubles really started.
"Within a day of that last cigarette, incessant coughing began," she said. "I went to Immediate Care for a chest x-ray. The doctor called me the next day and told me it was lung cancer."
Around 90% of people who get lung cancer are smokers. Making the bad news worse: the thought that she'd brought it on herself.
To continue reading, click here.
A lucky girl and a lucky grandma. My father promised to quit smoking when my brother was born. He never succeeded and passed before he ever saw his 8 grandchildren.
ReplyDeleteMy mom smoked her entire adult life until she was 77. She went into the hospital for a pacemaker and, because of repeated delays from cardiac emergencies in the hospital, had to wait 5 days for the implant. Once discharged, she never smoked (or drank) again. She died at 96 from non-cancer causes.
ReplyDeleteNice personal interest story - I especially like that Maida and Sloane have this story in print now.
ReplyDeleteThe demographics of lung cancer have been changing..... with fewer smokers now, a larger percentage of lung cancers are now caused by air pollution. Asbestos is still up there, too. My mom started smoking to be 'cool', before the health risks were known. She quit for her kids, even though it was very hard for her to do. It took multiple efforts before she succeeded, and we were very proud of her.
Smoked my first cancer stick at 13, in 1960, in the parking lot of the Mob-owned Villa Venice, during my best friend's bar mitzvah (his father was a trumpet player in the 40s, and he must have known people who knew people). Never stopped, for the next 32 years. Even in my teens, I was over six feet tall, and never had a problem buying smokes.
ReplyDeleteAt 45, after remarrying, I finally quit. Went cold-turkey, because of the effects I was witnessing on my new mother-in-law. She was pushing 80, and was literally wheezing her life away. She had smoked 3-4 packs a day, and now she had every lung ailment except lung cancer. Her quality of life was awful. Somehow, she almost made it to 90, but it wasn't pretty.
Fast-forward to my early 70s. My doctor informed me of lung damage, because I had started smoking so early...and had done it for so long. For almost thirty years as a former smoker, I had believed I was fine--and that my lungs had escaped any serious harm.. How mistaken I was.
A year later, in 2020, I was warned that catching the Plague would make me quite sick, thanks to my decades of smoking. I not only got sick, I got very sick. Fully expected to be wheeled out of the house and never come back. It was hell. Have had two wives, but never had kids. So no grandkids to celebrate the survival of their cranky old grandpa.
goddamn cigarettes killed my wife, couldn't quit until it was far to late, gone at 71, debilitated for 5 or 6 yeaars before she went. horrible addiction.
ReplyDeleteI am the unlucky 10 percent that was diagnosed with stage four lung cancer. This was a little over 3 years ago. 6 or 7 rounds of chemo and 20 some rounds of radiation. Luckily no real ill effects from that. So far so good. I am 78 and have a 7. year old grandson. I don't get to see him all that often as he live in Minneapolis. I'm hoping to be around a bit longer.
ReplyDeleteLung cancer killed my brother in 2013. He was able to quit drinking but could not quit smoking. Near the end, he didn't want eat but would light up a cancer stick as soon as he got out of bed
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