Wednesday, July 16, 2025

'Every day that God gives you, use it'

 


      Loneliness is the curse of old age. Your friends are gone, your family distant, your life's work, a box in the basement. Most seniors struggle with it.
      But most seniors are not Edith Renfrow Smith, who at times Monday had a dozen visitors in her room at Brookdale Senior Living on Sheridan Road. And that was before the party celebrating her 111th birthday.
      Regular readers might recall meeting Mrs. Smith on her 107th birthday and learning about her extraordinary life. Born in 1914 in Iowa, she became the first Black woman to graduate from Grinnell College. She pooh-poohs it, but had her share of encounters with the famous, from Amelia Earhart to Muhammad Ali.
      Not to forget her grandparents, born in slavery.
      Or the boy across the street, Herbie, who taught her daughter Alice to play "Chopsticks" on the piano. Herbie Hancock, the future jazz great.
      I joined the crowd, and asked: How did the past year go?
     "Everything has been fine," Mrs. Smith said, precisely, not mentioning specifics.
      Such as in September, when Grinnell College named a dorm after her — Renfrow Hall. Not to be confused with Renfrow Gallery, or the Edith Renfrow Smith Black Women's Library, previous tributes bestowed by the college, which granted her an honorary doctorate in 2019.
      Two recent graduates, Feven Getachew and Valeriya Woodard, hung on the conversation. Dr. Tamara Beauboeuf-Lafontant, the Louise R. Noun '29 chair in gender, women's, and sexuality studies at Grinnell, observed from a distance.
     "I've been listening to Mrs. Smith and realized she is her family's historian," said Beauboeuf-Lafontant, who is writing a book on Mrs. Smith's matrilineal history. "She keeps the memories, she inherited the memories from her mother. It's extraordinary she has taken on an old West African role of preserving the memories of your family, your people."
      Mrs. Smith seemed content to let conversation flow around her, though I tried to pick out highlights from the last year. I asked if she voted in November, drawing a reaction near outrage.
     "I NEVER have not voted," she said.
     Does she still bake? Last year we watched her and Alice, 79, bake a pie with, all the drama that can be expected from a mother-daughter pair who have nearly two centuries of life between them.
      "Sometimes," Mrs. Smith replied. "Over there on the counter is a pie we baked yesterday. A cherry raspberry pie."
      The pie was brought out for admiration. Though the reason for its creation is even more noteworthy — her Sunday helper, Ebony, had confessed that she had never baked a pie. Mrs. Smith thought that a lapse worthy of immediate correction.
      "It was the first time she had ever made a pie," she said. "Her mother had taught her to cook, but never to bake. That's why I told her to take a piece to her mother. I like to do things; I don't like to do nothing. She was here to take care of me, and I said, 'Oh, we can make a pie.' So that's what we did. I said, 'You made the pie.'"
      Living to 111 is extremely rare. About 3 in 10,000 Americans live to be 100, or 0.027 percent. There are thought to be fewer than 1,000 "supercentenarians" — people who live to 110 — in the world. Making Mrs. Smith not one in a million, but closer to 1 in 10 million.
       I asked her what 111 feels like. She replied:
      "It feels just like every day..."

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8 comments:

  1. The message was direct: everyday that god gives you use it. 111 years of wisdom!

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    1. Judged against my own 83 years of existence, It might be useful to observe that some people make better use of their time on Earth than others.

      john

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  2. What a wonderfully thoughtful person, with such simple and profound wisdom to share. Forgive me for this distracting diversion, but Dr. Tamara Beauboeuf-Lafontant's name had me wondering about the protocols of hyphenated names and at what point, through marriage, people's names become so long they are unwieldy. I guess that's what google is for . . .

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    1. Interesting you ask. She gave me her name as Tamara Beauboeuf. In checking online I saw the rest, and reached out to ask if she had a preference. She wanted the full three names, which is her right. I've always been averse to the practice of hyphenated last names, because, as you allude to, it's unscalable, and after a few generations you'd begin to sound like Luxembourg royalty. Not that anybody does that. In reality I never encounter such persons, and assume that the practice is quickly abandoned.

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  3. I could use some advice about staving off loneliness; I'm 65 and still working full time and living in a city condo but would like ideas about having more people in my life

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    1. While many may find this obvious, my idea would be to start with attending something local that interests you...a talk at a local library, an instructional seminar on something, a community event with music. Perhaps taking an adult education class at a local community college. Another "guarded" idea would be to attend your condo association meetings. I think the key is to harness your own energy and talent and get with people. You are unique and have lots to bring to the table. Initiate, participate, and ask others "What do you do for fun?"

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    2. Suggest you find a hobby that suits you, such as playing an instrument, or stamp or coin collecting, or sports, anything that provides something you can share with others.

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  4. Wonderful column...a peak at an exceptional life well lived and filled with gratitude. As usual you nail it with one sentence Neil..."Loneliness is the curse of old age. Your friends are gone, your family distant, your life's work, a box in the basement." So true but Edith Renfrow Smith shows us all how to overcome and thrive!

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