But I can't be sure. I am not a Bears fan. Or a football fan. Though sometimes I do try to fake it, just trying to momentarily fit in. That never works.
At first I tried deception.
"Did you watch the Bears game?" I said, as if I had, to Charlie, the fireman who runs a coffee shop at the train station in the old leafy suburban paradise.
"Unbelievable," said the guy in line behind me, as Charlie launched into an elaborate celebration of the offense, or the defense, or the passing game, or some such football-related thing, with such open-faced enthusiasm and sincere gusto that I was shamed into telling the truth.
"Actually, I didn't watch it," I mumbled, accepting my Sun-Times and my coffee. "Never considered watching it."
Sports are the universal adhesive, the commonality we all agree upon. All day Tuesday I found myself passing through pockets of shared delight, like a blind man tapping my way through a circus. Records broken, Olympian Heights scaled, the Bears, down 20 to nothing at halftime, rallying to win 24 to 23, to preserve their unbeaten record, a staggering 6 and 0. Bears, Bears, Bears.
"Didja watch the game!" a fellow reporter called to me across the newsroom.
"Umm . . . no," I whispered. His face fell.
"Aren't you a Bears fan?" he asked, in a tone of focused concern, the way you'd ask a child found lost and crying in the street, "Where's your mommy?"
"No," I said.
He must have thought I didn't understand the question.
"Aren't you a sports fan?"
"No," I said. "To me, sports are the same thing happening over and over again."
"Oh," he said, wandering off, his mouth doing an odd grimace, as if trying to dislodge something caught between his teeth with his tongue.
I hate doing that to people. But what choice have I? False enthusiasm? It's a little late. And I couldn't pull it off anyway. "Those Bears fellows sure are thriving!" They'd stone me.
The Bears are going to keep winning. I know it. They'll go to the Super Bowl, sucking all the air out of the city for the next three months. Chicago will be one unified city, young and old, rich and poor, black and white and yellow and brown, all united in one giddy, hugging shouting mass of commonality. Bears Bears Bears Bears.
Except for me and, perhaps, you, and a handful of other weirdos and oddballs. I thought it necessary to set out this space for us as a Bears-free zone (if the mayor can have his security bubbles, I can have mine). God knows you'll get enough Bears everywhere else you look.
— Originally published in the Sun-Times, Oct. 18, 2006
At first I tried deception.
"Did you watch the Bears game?" I said, as if I had, to Charlie, the fireman who runs a coffee shop at the train station in the old leafy suburban paradise.
"Unbelievable," said the guy in line behind me, as Charlie launched into an elaborate celebration of the offense, or the defense, or the passing game, or some such football-related thing, with such open-faced enthusiasm and sincere gusto that I was shamed into telling the truth.
Sports are the universal adhesive, the commonality we all agree upon. All day Tuesday I found myself passing through pockets of shared delight, like a blind man tapping my way through a circus. Records broken, Olympian Heights scaled, the Bears, down 20 to nothing at halftime, rallying to win 24 to 23, to preserve their unbeaten record, a staggering 6 and 0. Bears, Bears, Bears.
"Didja watch the game!" a fellow reporter called to me across the newsroom.
"Umm . . . no," I whispered. His face fell.
"Aren't you a Bears fan?" he asked, in a tone of focused concern, the way you'd ask a child found lost and crying in the street, "Where's your mommy?"
"No," I said.
He must have thought I didn't understand the question.
"Aren't you a sports fan?"
"No," I said. "To me, sports are the same thing happening over and over again."
"Oh," he said, wandering off, his mouth doing an odd grimace, as if trying to dislodge something caught between his teeth with his tongue.
I hate doing that to people. But what choice have I? False enthusiasm? It's a little late. And I couldn't pull it off anyway. "Those Bears fellows sure are thriving!" They'd stone me.
The Bears are going to keep winning. I know it. They'll go to the Super Bowl, sucking all the air out of the city for the next three months. Chicago will be one unified city, young and old, rich and poor, black and white and yellow and brown, all united in one giddy, hugging shouting mass of commonality. Bears Bears Bears Bears.
Except for me and, perhaps, you, and a handful of other weirdos and oddballs. I thought it necessary to set out this space for us as a Bears-free zone (if the mayor can have his security bubbles, I can have mine). God knows you'll get enough Bears everywhere else you look.
— Originally published in the Sun-Times, Oct. 18, 2006
Da bears are not going to keep winning, all the McCaskeys care about is screwing the taxpayers out of a free stadium!
ReplyDeleteLast week it was reported the team is now worth $8.8 billion, so they can go to the banks & borrow the money for everything, especially the infrastructure around Arlington Park that would need huge improvements! If the banks won't lend that money, it proves the entire thing is a money losing disaster.
When I read that the Bears were going to honor Virginia McCaskey with a jersey patch, I was floored but not surprised. She turned the Bears into a employment agency for her kids who were just as incompetent as her when it came to football. By all accounts she was a nice person but dumber than a box of rocks when it came to running the Bears. They should sell the Bears to people with some football smarts but they'll never do it because it's their one claim to fame and fortune. Without it, they're essentially non-entities.
ReplyDeleteFunny. They did go to the superbowl that year. Any predictions for this year, Neil?
DeleteNow that Da Bears are abandoning Soldier Field, maybe they will scoop out the football field and put the race track back in. NASCAR wants to run in Chicago -- give 'em a nice short-track and get the cars off the goddamn streets.
ReplyDeleteYou’re correct. No overtime in preseason games.
ReplyDelete