But I can't be sure. I am not a Bears fan. Or a football fan. Though sometimes I do try to fake it, just trying to momentarily fit in. That never works.
At first I tried deception.
"Did you watch the Bears game?" I said, as if I had, to Charlie, the fireman who runs a coffee shop at the train station in the old leafy suburban paradise.
"Unbelievable," said the guy in line behind me, as Charlie launched into an elaborate celebration of the offense, or the defense, or the passing game, or some such football-related thing, with such open-faced enthusiasm and sincere gusto that I was shamed into telling the truth.
"Actually, I didn't watch it," I mumbled, accepting my Sun-Times and my coffee. "Never considered watching it."
Sports are the universal adhesive, the commonality we all agree upon. All day Tuesday I found myself passing through pockets of shared delight, like a blind man tapping my way through a circus. Records broken, Olympian Heights scaled, the Bears, down 20 to nothing at halftime, rallying to win 24 to 23, to preserve their unbeaten record, a staggering 6 and 0. Bears, Bears, Bears.
"Didja watch the game!" a fellow reporter called to me across the newsroom.
"Umm . . . no," I whispered. His face fell.
"Aren't you a Bears fan?" he asked, in a tone of focused concern, the way you'd ask a child found lost and crying in the street, "Where's your mommy?"
"No," I said.
He must have thought I didn't understand the question.
"Aren't you a sports fan?"
"No," I said. "To me, sports are the same thing happening over and over again."
"Oh," he said, wandering off, his mouth doing an odd grimace, as if trying to dislodge something caught between his teeth with his tongue.
I hate doing that to people. But what choice have I? False enthusiasm? It's a little late. And I couldn't pull it off anyway. "Those Bears fellows sure are thriving!" They'd stone me.
The Bears are going to keep winning. I know it. They'll go to the Super Bowl, sucking all the air out of the city for the next three months. Chicago will be one unified city, young and old, rich and poor, black and white and yellow and brown, all united in one giddy, hugging shouting mass of commonality. Bears Bears Bears Bears.
Except for me and, perhaps, you, and a handful of other weirdos and oddballs. I thought it necessary to set out this space for us as a Bears-free zone (if the mayor can have his security bubbles, I can have mine). God knows you'll get enough Bears everywhere else you look.
— Originally published in the Sun-Times, Oct. 18, 2006
At first I tried deception.
"Did you watch the Bears game?" I said, as if I had, to Charlie, the fireman who runs a coffee shop at the train station in the old leafy suburban paradise.
"Unbelievable," said the guy in line behind me, as Charlie launched into an elaborate celebration of the offense, or the defense, or the passing game, or some such football-related thing, with such open-faced enthusiasm and sincere gusto that I was shamed into telling the truth.
Sports are the universal adhesive, the commonality we all agree upon. All day Tuesday I found myself passing through pockets of shared delight, like a blind man tapping my way through a circus. Records broken, Olympian Heights scaled, the Bears, down 20 to nothing at halftime, rallying to win 24 to 23, to preserve their unbeaten record, a staggering 6 and 0. Bears, Bears, Bears.
"Didja watch the game!" a fellow reporter called to me across the newsroom.
"Umm . . . no," I whispered. His face fell.
"Aren't you a Bears fan?" he asked, in a tone of focused concern, the way you'd ask a child found lost and crying in the street, "Where's your mommy?"
"No," I said.
He must have thought I didn't understand the question.
"Aren't you a sports fan?"
"No," I said. "To me, sports are the same thing happening over and over again."
"Oh," he said, wandering off, his mouth doing an odd grimace, as if trying to dislodge something caught between his teeth with his tongue.
I hate doing that to people. But what choice have I? False enthusiasm? It's a little late. And I couldn't pull it off anyway. "Those Bears fellows sure are thriving!" They'd stone me.
The Bears are going to keep winning. I know it. They'll go to the Super Bowl, sucking all the air out of the city for the next three months. Chicago will be one unified city, young and old, rich and poor, black and white and yellow and brown, all united in one giddy, hugging shouting mass of commonality. Bears Bears Bears Bears.
Except for me and, perhaps, you, and a handful of other weirdos and oddballs. I thought it necessary to set out this space for us as a Bears-free zone (if the mayor can have his security bubbles, I can have mine). God knows you'll get enough Bears everywhere else you look.
— Originally published in the Sun-Times, Oct. 18, 2006
Da bears are not going to keep winning, all the McCaskeys care about is screwing the taxpayers out of a free stadium!
ReplyDeleteLast week it was reported the team is now worth $8.8 billion, so they can go to the banks & borrow the money for everything, especially the infrastructure around Arlington Park that would need huge improvements! If the banks won't lend that money, it proves the entire thing is a money losing disaster.
When I read that the Bears were going to honor Virginia McCaskey with a jersey patch, I was floored but not surprised. She turned the Bears into a employment agency for her kids who were just as incompetent as her when it came to football. By all accounts she was a nice person but dumber than a box of rocks when it came to running the Bears. They should sell the Bears to people with some football smarts but they'll never do it because it's their one claim to fame and fortune. Without it, they're essentially non-entities.
ReplyDeleteFunny. They did go to the superbowl that year. Any predictions for this year, Neil?
DeleteThere is a theory that the McCaskey's killed Bug, George Hallas Jr., to get full control of the team. I hadn't heard about it until early in last years season when a friend of mine mentioned the curse.
DeleteEnjoy the insane rabbit hole that you may find yourself falling down!
She was obsessed over not hiring anyone with even the most mild personal problems as players. So the Bears missed out on several excellent players due to that. I also remember reading that her father hated Ed McCaskey, the man she married & considered him to be a moron. The sole successful thing her children managed to do was to screw Chicago taxpayers into turning Soldier Field into the Toilet Bowl & putting us poor taxpayers on the hook for several hundred million in bonds issued to do that, which will probably never be paid off.
DeleteThe second worst deal that pile of nepo-baby shit Richie Daley stuck us with, after that disastrous parking meter deal!
When it comes down to it, we're all nonentities, essentially.
Deletetate
Now that Da Bears are abandoning Soldier Field, maybe they will scoop out the football field and put the race track back in. NASCAR wants to run in Chicago -- give 'em a nice short-track and get the cars off the goddamn streets.
ReplyDeleteYou’re correct. No overtime in preseason games.
ReplyDeleteYou might enjoy the TV Show the IT Crowd. specifically there is an episode where Roy (played by Chris O'Dowd) is flabbergasted at Moss' (played by Richard Ayoade) ability to have a normal conversation with someone about football (soccer). Moss explains that he's found a website that supplies him with things to say to sound normal.
ReplyDeleteIt's a fantastic episode, and even better if you've watched the whole series.
Your post made me laugh. then i thought about this episode of The IT Crowd, and i laughed again.
Thank you.
At least you don't live in TX, Mr S, where football reigns supreme. I am beyond ambivalent about the game these days, and find it uncomfortable to watch although I once was a fan. Too much CTE and other life-altering effects from playing the game. Steve McMichael believed football or wrestling contributed to his ALS, Dave Duerson died by suicide after developing health complications due to football and Jim McMahon has early onset dementia and probable CTE, just to name a few former Bears. Last week a Detroit player suffered a serious injury on the field that ended their preseason game early. I saw the news reel of players, coaches, athletic trainers and medics standing around the downed player. I think they were worried he might be paralyzed. At some point we have to question whether this is worth it. I know lots of parents now refuse to allow their HS children to play. Some day professional football will be retired. Its called the gridiron, but it seems like the gladiators.
ReplyDeleteit took time for me to observe all these medical outcomes and arrive at this opinion. But back when the Bears had their epic year in 1985, I had just moved, had no TV and couldn't afford one. I found myself watching the games every Sunday at Polk Brothers, along with a small group of other fans. Employees conveniently relocated some of their recliners near the TVs so we could sit. It was a bizarre group. I purchased a TV before the holidays -during the halftime show and with input from the group- and it was delivered in time for the game the following week. The group accused me of being a sell-out. But I think buying that TV brought the team luck!
Went to one Bear game in my life. My father had to go to New York on business, so he gave me a pair of tickets to see The Bears. Decades before that whole "Da" thing. They were still at Wrigley, and they were playing a brand-new expansion team, which was called the Cowboys. And they won. It was bitterly cold and blustery and there were snow flurries. And JFK had eked out a win over Nixon, three weeks before. That's how long ago it was. I did not enjoy the experience.
ReplyDeleteWent to many of my high school's games (one win and one tie...in four years) and went to a few college games, as well. College football Saturdays are fun. Never really been a huge pro football fan. Baseball was my drug of choice...now 65 years as a Cub junkie. Of course I jumped on the bandwagon for the '85 Bears, but that was about it. Hardly ever watched the Bears on TV. Found other ways to pass (sorry) my Sundays, from the early 60s to the early 90s.
So what happened? Cleveland, that's what. The Browns are a religion here. All-Browns-all-the-time, all year long. Browns Browns Browns. Even though they have stunk for decades, far worse than the Cubs ever did. And now their greedy carpetbagger of an owner is going to get billions of taxpayer dollars to build a domed Dizzyland in the suburbs, far too close to my peaceful leafy neighborhood. Which he will ruin. Maybe I won't live long enough to see it happen by 2030. Hate the Browns now. The wife and I pull for the Lions.
I used to be much more of a sports fan, but, being a transplant to Chicago, never really gave a crap-in-the-woods about the Bears. I guess I tried to enjoy the Super Bowl season in '85, but that was a long time ago. I didn't pay much attention at all by 2006.
ReplyDelete"Sucking all the air out of the city for the next three months" when they started 6 - 0 and were on their way to the Super Bowl is one thing. What irks me is the massive amount of media coverage they receive year-round even when they suck. But if many, many folks didn't read / watch it, I suppose it wouldn't be like that, so I'm just Grandpa Simpson shaking my fist at the clouds. So to speak.