Like any small boy, I have a keen eye for both guns and boats. So, of course, I noticed the M240 machine gun mounted at the bow of one of the Coast Guard's Defender patrol boats cruising the Chicago River.
This was back in the elysium of 2012, when it was a simple matter to invite myself aboard for a lake patrol, checking the fire extinguishers on pleasure boats and seeing just how fast the twin 825-horsepower Detroit Diesel engines could go, powering a pair of Rolls-Royce Waterjets — basically underwater jet engines — with nothing as dinky as propellers necessary.
The Coast Guard public relations representative at the time was reluctant to tell me the boat's top speed — 40 knots, according to its own website — and one fun aspect of the resulting column was digging up details the Coast Guard flack refused to divulge, citing national security, that were nevertheless ballyhooed online. Small wonder why they never invited me back.
Fun is the first casualty of authoritarian regimes — as we were reminded when President Donald Trump, through his puppet FCC chairman Brendan Carr, turned an ephemeral Jimmy Kimmel routine into a permanent, maybe important, chapter in American history.
Not the brightest media strategy. I'm not sure how Trump squares his self-assigned greatness with a furious need to denounce every high school talent show snickering at him. It seems the mark of a deeply insecure individual.
He should be used to it by now. Mocking would-be tyrants is a patriotic duty. Though aspirant strongmen, unwilling to trust the machinery of democracy to keep them in power for as long as they want, aka forever, try to squelch the rising laughter, often by pushing their power into places it doesn't belong.
There was an unfunny chill to see U.S. Border Patrol boats cruising the Chicago River on Thursday — well, I didn't see them, myself, I was at the Newberry Library studying French maps of Chicago from 1825, researching a column for next month. But the Sun-Times got pictures.
Four boats, packed with armed men, slowly cruising the river.
It has to be funny, too, right? Social media must be awash with memes of brave aquatic centurians patrolling the mean waterways of Kill City, the masses of neon green kayaks and floating tiki bars peddled by celebrants working off their margaritas digitally erased.
What could the Border Patrol possibly be doing here? Not a lot of immigrants without legal status arriving via the Chicago River — though it's amusing to imagine how that would work.
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I wake up each morning wondering what to think and how to feel. Thank you Mr. Steinberg for filling this void with interesting information and opinions . Cost Guard good , Border Patrol bad.
ReplyDeleteHow do you feel about the Federal Marshalls permanently stationed and actively enforcing the law apprehending suspects and fugitives here in town for decades? Or the FBI? ATF? TSA ? These agencies have operated here through countless administrations .
There are federal troops stationed on various bases through out the country. Including Ohare Airport. Military aircraft patrol our skies.
The Chicago Police Department is currently operating under the strictures of a consent decree reached under the Obama administration .
Tunnel vision caused by animosity for this administration leads to mistaken perceptions and a lack of accurate understanding about the role the federal government plays in national security on a local and regional level.
Can we have it both ways? Who's to say? I guess you'd like to be the one.
I try not to paint MAGA as stupid, first, because it is so unnecessary. They do it for me. Being an optimistic sort, I like to think you can differentiate between regular federal law enforcement and a show of might by a would-be tyrant. But maybe you can't. Just remember. None of this is out of "animosity" for your beloved orange god, but out of love for our country — what it once was, what it will be again. When that happens, I'm counting on you to show up and explain how tragic it all is.
DeleteI love how do I say it ,the idea of our country.
DeleteWhat it could be.
Too many things have happened during my 67 years and before to truly love this country. The way we've treated and continue to treat so many different peoples from the original, to the enslaved, to the interned to the imprisoned , to the disenfranchised, to the invaded and occupied, to the ones summarily executed by the police, to the unhoused to the surveilled.
I'm sure I've missed a few but I hope you get my drift. I'm no fan of the orange one but that's the go-to I know
you must support Trump if you don't agree with me.
There should be room for disagreement in a republic based on Democratic principles where Liberty and justice for all is supposed to be a cornerstone.
It's never been that way. Will it one day doesn't seem like it was it moving in that direction to some degree but mostly people that govern this country in conjunction with some multinational corporations have it in for all of us.
I'm a white man I have more than my share I've lived a good life in this country and tried to help others do so.
So many things were so screwed up before Trump got elected. That his name became synonymous with none of the above and this is what we ended up with. Someone who made it worse heavily armed law enforcement floating down the river may not be the least of our problems but it's certainly not the worst.
"his name became synonymous with none of the above" For some, perhaps.
DeleteFor his key constituency, without whom he'd never have been elected nor reelected, his name is synonymous with hating and disparaging the same people that they do. Since the minute he rode down the (working) escalator in 2015, he's been lying about groups other than his beloved white, Christian base to get low-information voters to fear and despise the "out" groups that are easy to pick on. While those voters' lives are impacted far more by the plutocrats who run this country and support him. (Not that he doesn't tell different lies about his supporters, of course.)
As Neil has noted many times, he's a bully and a fraud. Calling Portland a "War ravaged" city and sending these masked and armed goons to places like Chicago exemplify both of those aspects of what pass for his personality.
"heavily armed law enforcement floating down the river may not be the least of our problems but it's certainly not the worst." Not yet, anyway, but he appears to be working on making it worse every chance he gets.
Meanwhile, Portlanders respond to the Fuhrer calling their fair city “War ravaged Portland.”
https://bsky.app/profile/oligarchopoly.bsky.social/post/3lztjnvaprc2l
https://bsky.app/profile/celesteheadlee.bsky.social/post/3lztdmvt5y22j
George, the issue isn't legitimate law enforcement. Criminals should be apprehended, tried and sentenced. They should not be "Burge'd". Due process prevents miscarriages of justice and is the bedrock of our justice system. If ICE was actually seeking out the violent they would be applauded. But their mission is to deport a quota of illegals, human rights be damned. How many innocents imprisoned are you willing to accept? If Trump was really concerned about crime in the cities he would restore funding he's cancelled and ask mayors what they need to fight crime.
DeleteJakash. trump could not win an election solely with his base. many more millions fed up with our government voted for trump in effect to throw the bums out. sick of the likes of the Bushes, the Clintons, Cruz, Rubio , Pelosi , AOC et al. not getting the change promised by Obama millions of young college educated men as well as African Americans and latinos said to themselves : how much worse could he be? well they're finding out. from duopoly to autocracy.
Deletetake the senate in 26!
The boats serve no purpose aside from allowing a sadist to pull some chains. He's playing with all of his toys - by which I mean the entire machinery of our democracy. If the government had a huge supply of butterflies he'd be entertaining himself and getting attention by spending a good part of the day pulling off their wings. He is a madman.
ReplyDeleteYes, then mocking them for not being able to fly.
DeleteI'm not 100% certain the cruising ICE boats have no purpose. Could be alien deck hands are transporting loads of drugs and the Orange One might want to send a couple of torpedoes their way.
Deletetate
I wonder how long it will be before the gunboats will require official Border Patrol umbrellas when passing back and forth under Chicago's many bridges, given that they are not really designed to resist things landing on them from above.
ReplyDeleteI saw those photos of the Border Patrol chief enjoying his Colonel Kurtz/"Heart of Darkness" moment posing on the front of a gunboat in between two brave gunmen and immediately thought, "Where's the Dave Matthews Band bus when we really need it?"
The main question is who's really directing this stuff, and apparently it's Stephen Miller, officially the White House Deputy Chief of Staff, unofficially the Homeland Security Advisor, who managed earlier to make the HSC become its own entity in Donald Trump’s second term, reporting to nobody except DJT (and that, I suspect, is only sometimes). He's the one who "played a leading role in directing US strikes against suspected Venezuelan drug boats, according to three people familiar with the situation. At times, his role has superseded that of Marco Rubio, the secretary of state and national security adviser."
ReplyDeletehttps://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2025/sep/29/stephen-miller-venezuela-drug-boat-strike
How did this man, who was never elected, never went before Congress for their (currently rubberstamping) advise and consent, become the arbiter of all ICE actions within the United States, and actual bombings on international waters? And without anyone's supervision? THAT'S what worries me.
Meanwhile, Andy, I agree with you - Dave Matthews, or perhaps even better, Jimmy Buffett, maybe "Son of a Son of a Sailor."
(pssst - I believe Andy was referring to the 'accidental' release of the septic tank from Dave Matthews Band's tour bus as it passed over... um, one of the bridges; I'm not going to Google place or year)
DeleteBingo. I believe that Grizz mentioned it when Mister S wrote about his Snarkitectural Tour. this past summer. Happened at the Kinzie Street Bridge, in the summer of 2004.
DeleteEve, due to his resemblance to Roy Cohn, The Cowardly Liar has a man-crush on PeeWee German, hence his place beside Herr Drumpf
DeleteHas no one tried to ask that idiot ICE Barbie exactly what is the Border patrol doing when the nearest border is 239 miles away in the Detroit River? Do they think the descendants of Al Capone are smuggling in Canadian whiskey via the great lakes to Chicago?
ReplyDeleteAre they going to be checking for citizenship papers of the kayakers?
The utter insanity of this is mind boggling. I wonder what the actual Border patrol cops think of what is obviously a very cushy assignment, since they don't actually have to do any actual police work on the Chicago River.
I'm maybe thirty miles from the REAL Canadian border. Roughly four miles from the shore of Lake Erie, through which runs the U.S.-Canadian boundary line, about 25 miles from Ohio's shoreline. There are many lakeside houses with colorful histories. And tunnels connecting them with the beaches. Enslaved people were shuttled to Canada via the Underground Railroad. Decades later, Canadian booze was brought in from Ontario, about a 55-mile boat ride away.
DeleteHave not seen or heard of any increased Federal activity here, either on land or on the water. You would think that there would be much more going on this close to a REAL border. The jurisdictions of both ICE and the DEA extend 100 miles south of the U.S. shoreline. But everything is normal...as normal as a deep-red state can be.
Which leads me to believe that the Chicago show of force is not about illegal activity or illegal immigration at all. It's simply intimidation and bullying from Mister Bluster, directed at one of America's most heavily blue cities, in a defiant blue state. Deep-red Ohio is not a threat. This benighted state has marched to the tune of Felonious for a decade now. Even blue Cleveland is not yet on the Orange Guy's radar.
Of course, that could change literally overnight, if one of our daily and hourly shootings becomes a mass-casualty event, and sends Dear Leader into a tizzy. Ask Portland and Memphis. Ask New Orleans and Baltimore. I'll be your Cleveland correspondent, reporting from the front lines of the Great Patriotic War on Domestic Terrorism. Stay tuned. Don't touch that dial.
Marching on Michigan Avenue, faces covered, carrying guns as if prepped for battle. Seems like pure political theater for the purpose of showing off to our governor that he can do it, acted out by cowards . Someone thanked the agents as reported by the Sun Times. Sad, so sad.
ReplyDeleteYes its pure Performance...
DeleteI've grown so weary of Trump's antics that I fantasize about life without him.
ReplyDeleteLet's play a variation of the "what if" game.
First question: What would you be doing this morning if Kamala Harris had won the election?
If she had won, I wouldn't be scared of the 2026 or 2028 elections canceled or that a demented, deranged, fascist traitor was building himself a gigantic throne room to overpower the White House for him to reign as king!
DeleteA crushing blue wave in '26 would alleviate a lot of our angst.
DeleteThe last election would have been completely different had Republicans done their constitutional duty and convicted Drumpf in his second impeachment. Or maybe they've all been paid off look the other way while the hard core conservatives and Tea Partyers live out Grover Norquist's dream to drown our Democracy in a bathtub. Either way, we are in deep doo doo.
DeleteIf she had won we would I would be worried about the government shutdown
ReplyDeleteWhere are Dave Matthews and his bus driver when we need them?
ReplyDeleteHow do you say "jack-booted thugs" in Spanish?
ReplyDeleteWhat about some crowds of people disguised in Mexican clothing cliches; sombrereos, hauraches, serapes. Then make themselves obvious to ICE agents? Arrange contact and legal help beforehand. When interrogated, refuse to answer. Fill up the "detention facilties".
Sad to say IMO there were no good choices in the last election, like many before, a decision, for me, based upon the lessor of two evils. Kamala was my choice but not with enthusiasm.
ReplyDeleteI have to agree with you on that. If we had been able to have a choice on a candidate, it's doubtful it would have been her.
DeleteWhat I enjoyed the most about this whole ICE in Chicago was when they patrolled the Gold Coast outside the Newberry Library-surely a gathering spot for many illegals. Maybe some ICE agents are interested in genealogy too!
ReplyDeleteOfficial government data on deportations from Homeland Security shows it s nothing new. We just now hate who’s doing it.
ReplyDeletehttps://ohss.dhs.gov/topics/immigration/yearbook/2019/table39
Maybe I'm wrong but border security troops in the streets is something new.
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