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Banquet of Haarlem's Cavilermen Civic Guard, by Cornelis Cornelisz Van Haarlem (Frans Hals Museum) |
Times change, but Chicago is still a city with plenty of private clubs, and I believe I've been to most — from the University Club, the Union League Club, the Chicago Club and the Cliff Dwellers Club, where I am honored to be a member, to the more obscure, like the Casino Club, which forced the John Hancock Building to redo its footprint by refusing to be forced off their land. Some are businessy, like the Metropolitan Club. Others artsy — the Arts Club of Chicago, obviously. Some are academic, like as the Quadrangle Club at the University of Chicago. A number, sadly, are no longer with us — the Standard Club, the Tavern Club and the Adventurers Club, which I wrote about in the go-go '90s, and share today because, well, I'm still on vacation, and can't face the prospect of putting words on paper, not until Thursday, when I'll have to come up with something for Friday. I tried to find out what happened to the Adventurers Club and could not — if anyone knows, please clue me in, and I'll share the information. I had just finished writing "Complete and Utter Failure" a couple of years earlier, and suspect the tone of this column was influenced by the chapter on all the expeditions that didn't make it to the top of Mount Everest.
Time: precisely noon. Conditions: light snow, scattered clouds, an air temperature of 11 degrees. Destination: adventure.
Alone, without dogteam or guides, I left the office, heading north up Wabash Avenue. I noticed several of the native Chicagoans, wearing their distinctive colorful hats and giant overcoats. At the corner of Wabash and Grand I caught sight of a bird of the Columbidae family — commonly known as a pigeon — on the wing. Breathtaking.
Turning west at Grand, a few minutes easy walk — no difficult ridges, no streams to ford — before my destination came into sight. The Adventurers Club! Chicago institution since 1911. Home to all those brave enough to face nature red in tooth and claw and master her. I went inside and had a beer.
My gaze was met by a walrus — stuffed, thankfully, one of the menagerie of big-game animals on display. At least two dozen trophies — a rhino, a moose, a cape buffalo, a sable, and many varieties of the antelope family — line both walls of the long room. Also, bears, full size, standing on hind legs, one grizzly, one polar, and a display case filled with shrunken heads and old pistols and other odd trinkets liberated from a variety of exotic destinations. If Ernest Hemingway is in heaven and has a rumpus room, it looks like this.
"Look at this stuff," said Robert M. Stahl, officially the executive chef but, at the moment, club bartender, standing behind the club's small bar, under a disturbing array of knives and penises. The knives were exotic weapons such as Panay gutrakers and hooked disemboweling knives. The penises, dried and not very penis-looking, were from two walruses and a whale. I will leave it to the helping professions to discern any deeper meaning behind the display.
If the volume of memorabilia is weighing on club members' minds more than it normally might, just by its gruesome strangeness, the reason is the club is being forced to move again. After spending 10 years in the old Red Cross Spaghetti Factory at 300 W. Grand, the club has to make way for loft condominiums.
"We're being evicted," said Rick Homstad, club president, adding that the club should have its new quarters selected soon. "I think we're going to have a better spot than we have now."
The Adventurers Club membership is tiny, as far as clubs go, with only 100 local members and another 100 non-resident members.
Though small, and looking for a home, the Adventurers Club is by no means an endangered species (unlike many of its trophies).
"It is a small club, always scraping by hand-to-mouth," said Homstad. "But we've managed to make it for 85 years."
The club was founded in the heady days of African safaris and Great White Hunters — a letter from Teddy Roosevelt himself, on Sagamore Hill stationery, enjoys a prime position among the treasures, which include the lock and key from the Civil War ironclad Monitor.
Club members champion an attitude that is not exactly embraced by every schoolchild nowadays. Members offer no apologies. In the current newsletter, new member Alan Rugendorf lists "killing in general" as among his hobbies.
"When you're here, you're talking to people who have been quite a few places," said Homstad, when asked how the club reacts to the obvious criticisms in today's environment of pervasive touchy-feeliness. "We have a limited clientele."
But a well-heeled one. Several members of the Walgreen family belong, as does auctioneer Leslie Hindman, one of its few female members.
"I love the Adventurers Club," Hindman said. "I think it is the greatest group of people. Very diverse and a lot of fun and wild and crazy . . . guys mostly, and a couple of girls."
Food was shared. Chef Stahl, who hails from New Orleans, gives an appealing Cajun flair to the Adventurers Club menu. Even the staunchest anti-vivisectionist might look kindly on the club after sampling Stahl's crawfish on angel hair pasta. Cheeks stuffed with chow, I eyed the morbid row of animal heads and thought: "Heck, why not? It's not as if we could bring 'em back to life or anything."
Properly fortified and my priorities rationalized into place, I once again donned my down-filled Eddie Bauer arctic expedition jacket and battled my way back to the office. Dangers of every kind lurked about me. I noticed packs of dogs, several of them big and possibly vicious, as I passed the windows of the Anti-Cruelty Society.
Thanks to cunning, and an easy-to-remember grid street system, I returned safely to the office, wise in the ways of the Adventurers Club and satisfied that I had accomplished my goal and accomplished it well.
—Originally published in the Sun-Times, Dec. 29, 1996