Wednesday, June 15, 2016

Ban assault rifles? Heck, let's legalize grenades instead




     My fear is that a mob of armed evildoers will rush at my home, guns blazing.
     Sure, I could fend them off with the substantial firepower of an assault rifle. But returning fire would expose me to their attack; it would be better, tactically, if I crouch on the second floor and lob grenades out the window instead.
     An M67 fragmentation grenade would do the job nicely—pull the pin, count to two, out the window, hit the deck. Bad guys neutralized.
     There is a problem with this plan. Civilian ownership of grenades is illegal under the National Firearms Act of 1934, which bans "destructive devices"such as grenades.
    Now might be the moment to change that. In the wake of 49 people being murdered at a gay nightclub in Orlando last Sunday, Americans are crying for curtailing availability of so-called assault rifles like the weapon used in the shooting, as the minimum reaction of a once proud nation to these mass killings.
    It'll never happen. If gun violence is an American folk illness—and no other industrial country comes close to our rate of armed carnage—than calls for gun control are the fever that breaks out in the post-massacre stage of the disease.....


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19 comments:

  1. I certainly hope you remember that Royko wrote something very similar 25-30 years ago, except he wanted bazookas legalized.

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    1. No, I didn't remember that. Maybe I'll try to dig it up.

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    2. I remember Royko writing that if it could be magically fixed so that the gun nuts could shoot only each other and never hurt anyone else, he'd sell them guns at cigar stands.

      Bitter Scribe

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  2. Brilliant idea! How else can we hope to get through to those clutching their weapons? Can tanks be far behind?

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  3. https://www.washingtonpost.com/archive/opinions/1980/12/14/machineguns-dont-kill/4b08bd82-6ea6-4c4b-9a2b-bd48a4d2b4ba/

    There's the link to the Royko column

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  4. If everyone who actually possessed grenades wrote or called to tell you, I bet you'd be surprised at how many people actually have such things. I know my very conservative brother-in-law, an Army veteran, at one time had a bazooka, apparently ready for the tanks the government would be rolling up to his door demanding payment of the patently illegal income tax. It's conceivable that there are howitzers, 50 calibre machine guns, and god knows what else out there. But probably no jet fighter planes.

    john

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  5. You're a wimp, Neil. Nuclear warheads or nothing.

    Bitter Scribe

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  6. Grenades? Yeah right, that's like so last century. IEDs are where it's at, specifically pipe bombs. But well you may say, those are illegal, and can be very dangerous for the builder. Hah! Who said anything about building real pipe bombs, fake ones are legal, easy to build, and most importantly very scary. Visit a hardware store and purchase one or more cast iron threaded nipples, four inches in diameter 8 inches long, and two end caps for each pipe, also lots of road flares.
    Drive to Indiana, visit a fireworks store, and buy fireworks fuses. Extract the powder from the flares and pack it in the pipe with one cap in place. Drill a hole in the other cap, wide enough to insert the fuse, tighten the cap and you're ready to go. When needed light fuse and toss. Multiple bombs hissing away presents your adversaries with a gauntlet o' death around your house. Terrorists are cowards, and will know the risk of what appears to be a dud going off at any time. If they seem to hesitate, for Muslims yell "Deus vult", for Christians yell "Sh'ma Yisra'eil Adonai Eloheinu Adonai echad." They'll get the picture and move on to the next block.

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    1. You've put a lot of thought into that.......yeah it's a good plan! *smiles and slowly backs away from Bernie*

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    2. NikkiD, I suppose you're wondering why I recognized the Cook County Sheriff Mental Health Transition Center courtyard, on Saturday's where's this? That was just a lucky guess.

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  7. Nicely done, but I fear that satire, beyond being what closes on Sarurday night, is unlikely to move those legions who have been persuaded that the Founding Fathers wanted us all to drive around with a Glock in the glove compartment.

    One would think that mass killings of elementary school kids, black worshipers, college students and gay clubbers should be deplorable enough to move the political needle, but, the way public opinion works in this country, I'm inclined to think it will only happen when a sovereign citizen or some comparable enthusiast uses his God given assault rifle to take down a band of cops in a standoff. Not something to be hoped for, but a full blown police funeral -- the serried ranks of blue, the motorcycle parade, the bagpipes -- would melt even an NRA heart.

    Tom Evans

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    1. Would it really? I tend to think it's really about commerce for the NRA. Many of their positions are even out of touch with their membership.

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    2. I'm afraid that would actually embolden them - because obviously the authorities have finally done what is the most feared action of all....come to take your weapons away.

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  8. Time to limber up the pitching arm.

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  9. The same could be said for assault rifles, if you ignore — and I am deadly serious here — the role that fantasy plays in gun culture. Assault rifles have a purpose: They allow those who hate and fear the United States government to imagine themselves defeating it in some post-apocalyptic revolution daydream. The guns are role-playing totems, fetish objects, household gods for those who can’t scrape together a sense of security and self-worth otherwise. That would explain their owners’ eye-popping passion. Guns are a kind of masturbatory aid in the elaborate heroic fantasies of millions of Americans, who imagine themselves supermen.

    It's nightmare of an out of control Federal government ripping up the constitution and imposing a Maoist government. We'd never win in a fight? First NEVER underestimate your enemies and even if we lost it would be a long wild and very bloody party folks. There are 3 MILLION AR-15's in the hands of private owners today. I won't make any holocaust analogies, of course not for any PC reason they just don't work but take a look at the founding of the nation of Israel. At one time I think they were down to about 18 rifles holding some G-d awful corner of some G-d awful town that allowed the modern Israel to be what it is today. Think if those people would have been morons and obeyed a British mandate to turn in their guns. There would be no Israel. And that's a bunch of rag tag weapons we in the U.S. are blessed to have access to military grade stuff! What a wonderful FREE country.

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  10. http://www.upi.com/Top_News/Opinion/2016/06/15/North-Korean-trafficking-survivor-We-were-just-slaves/6071466019237/

    And for the love of G-D read this article. This is what happens if a people can't defend themselves.

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    1. Sad, that in a nation of laws, the beneficiaries don't see what their freedoms are based on. It ain't the guns in your basement. And if you need to arm up to go outside, are you really free?

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  11. How about water balloons? Just sayin'...

    As an aside..are Trump's bigoted comments against Muslims provoking Congress to shamefully reconsider assault weapons ban for suspected terrorists? If he was winning the message, would this be possible?

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