Readers seem to be getting this, which is a relief. For added perspective, if you have a copy of George Orwell's "1984," you might want to compare its final sentence with the last sentence of this column.
On my second visit to Aldi, I paused in the parking lot to admire its lovely logo: twin trios of stylized wavy blue lines, representing the rivers of life and happiness, perhaps.
My quarter was already in hand. I slid it into a slot and a cart was released. An ingenious system that frees Aldi from having to hire someone to wrangle carts — maybe so they can go to college, study to be a doctor, cure cancer.
Where to begin? Romaine hearts, $2.69 — I’d bought the exact same trio of lettuce for $4.99 at Sunset several days before and they’d already started to rot. A bag of white cheddar popcorn, $2.19, almost half what I usually pay. But equally delicious.
Words cannot convey the magic of Aldi. The products. The bargains. My fellow shoppers, spanning the ages of humanity, from the pair of energetic little boys racing around, to the elderly lady being guided by her attentive grandson. They were all so ... beautiful.
OK, a bit of background, so you don’t think I’ve gone mad. I have a personal blog, everygoddamnday.com. On days when this column doesn’t run, I cook up something else, often conveying moments of staggering banality, of the “Neil discovers ordinary life” variety. A week ago I went to the discount supermarket Aldi, where I’d never been before, accompanying my wife.
Granted, I wasn’t in the best mood. My report, “Wrangle carts, earn quarters” was, shall we say .... ungenerous. The passage that got me in trouble, I believe, was:
My quarter was already in hand. I slid it into a slot and a cart was released. An ingenious system that frees Aldi from having to hire someone to wrangle carts — maybe so they can go to college, study to be a doctor, cure cancer.
Where to begin? Romaine hearts, $2.69 — I’d bought the exact same trio of lettuce for $4.99 at Sunset several days before and they’d already started to rot. A bag of white cheddar popcorn, $2.19, almost half what I usually pay. But equally delicious.
Words cannot convey the magic of Aldi. The products. The bargains. My fellow shoppers, spanning the ages of humanity, from the pair of energetic little boys racing around, to the elderly lady being guided by her attentive grandson. They were all so ... beautiful.
OK, a bit of background, so you don’t think I’ve gone mad. I have a personal blog, everygoddamnday.com. On days when this column doesn’t run, I cook up something else, often conveying moments of staggering banality, of the “Neil discovers ordinary life” variety. A week ago I went to the discount supermarket Aldi, where I’d never been before, accompanying my wife.
Granted, I wasn’t in the best mood. My report, “Wrangle carts, earn quarters” was, shall we say .... ungenerous. The passage that got me in trouble, I believe, was:
Aldi was new and kinda empty, not enough products filling the void and what they had were off-brands that I’d never heard of. Millville? I’d have left immediately, but my wife declared the prices low, and wanted to walk every aisle, exploring.
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As I said in the previous column on Aldi, I've been going there since their first store in Wheaton in April 1977.
ReplyDeleteIt's changed massively, as it had not refrigerators, freezers or fresh produce then.
There were certainly a few low quality products in 1977, but not anymore.
It has turned into a great place to shop & save money on food.
The day of your first Aldi column was so much fun! I checked in several times that day to see others’ reactions. Delightful to be discussing something harmless like a grocery store, rather than a wannabe dictator or the benefits of slavery. This article was fun too; if, I suspect, just a bit tongue-in-cheek. Thanks!
ReplyDeleteYa think?!?
DeleteOnce upon a time a Sunset appreciator wandered into an Aldi and was dazzled by the selection and value to be had. Yeah, I'm not buying it.
ReplyDeleteI feel trolled by Neil.
DeleteHappy with Marc's (big locally-owned chain) and Pittsburgh-based Giant Eagle (was it a merger of Giant and Eagle?), so we probably won't be switching to Aldi anytime soon. Even though one opened in early June, about a mile from our house.
DeleteMy wife has been there. She wasn't impressed. I haven't been there yet. It looks pretty "teensy-tinsy"...they knocked down a shabby strip mall and shoehorned it into the space ,next to a recycled K-mart that recently became a bunch of low-end clothing stores and a Starbucks. Meh.
Awkward Aldi moment with a neighbour who had lost her job and carrying green cerise in -
ReplyDeleteMe: Oh yeah, I shopped at Aldi when I was unemployed, too.
Her: just a hurt and unfriendly look.
As my grandfather used to say, the most important thing in life is sincerity - and once you learn to fake that, you'll go places.
ReplyDeletevery tongue in cheek
ReplyDeleteThis whole thing has been hilarious. I didn't go into an Aldi until my cash-strapped (and picky eater) son recommended them. He got to know them when he lived in Germany. I thought: suspect meat and dented cans...ah no.
ReplyDeleteBut I love them! I don't need ten different kinds of Raisin Bran or mustard. The whole more-is-more thing slows me down. At Aldi, it's "here's what we got--take it or leave it." Some stuff is great and cheap -- egg whites, milk, carrots, plant-based frozen meat balls. Some...not. Coffee, as you point out.
As with most other stores, Aldi has its pros and cons, so a shopper, well, shops. Everything on offer is of at least decent quality, and well priced. Anything from Germany (chocolates, sausages and the many seasonal Advent and Christmas offerings) tend to be very good indeed. As for the coffee selection, skip the house blends, but the regional organic selections (Guatemala, Peru, and such) are very good values for the money. I don't go out of my way to shop at Aldi, but they are on my trap line of grocery stores to shop at. BTW, at Aldi stores in Germany they sell 250mm bottles of beer schnapps at the checkout lines along with the candy bars.
ReplyDeleteAgree about that Organic Coffee…. Comes in beans but just grind it up after you get home . Aldi’s is defiantly a money saver… shop at Aldi’s along with your regular grocery store.
DeleteIt has grassfed butter, organic greens,& much more at a very nice price . Saves you $10-20 a week perhaps . I’ll take that any day as long as the quality is there . Just pay attention to your choices !!
I agree with 6:14 Anon. that fun columns like this offer a welcome complement to your more serious work.
ReplyDelete"And this is the amazing part; truly, the reason I’m writing this."
Hmmm... Given the 25,000 hits for the first piece, your saying in a note that day that "you can bet your bottom dollar that I'll be back," and that you wrote about Smucker's despite their poor response to your inquiries, perhaps the expeditious replies of the Aldi's reps weren't the ONLY reason. ; )
“It tastes like coffee,” That's a pretty low bar, but if they can hurdle it for $3.99, it may be good enough for the average Joe!
Gotta say, however, that in the photo atop the blog, that produce section doesn't look particularly bountiful...
I get the paper paper every AM so had the pleasure of reading your article at the breakfast table today. I laughed all the way through it. I just logged on to read the comments here. Wish there was a "like" button. And....did this latest article make it to Reddit?
ReplyDeleteNo idea. My hunch is that only ridicule gathers a crowd.
DeleteRe leave the quarter. One time I had a big list and the quarter container in the car was empty. What to do? Walked up to the front and some generous person had let a car with the quarter. in it. Thank you! Now I leave the quarter every time as payment for that one kindness.
ReplyDeleteI also love Aldi coffee.
ReplyDeleteDid you know about the Aldi Facebook groups?
ReplyDeleteYes.
DeleteThere is a fun, self-deprecating group on Facebook called ALDI Aisle of Shame Community, whose members post about kooky and sometimes useful non-food things they buy at ALDI. https://www.facebook.com/groups/668881464321714
ReplyDeleteYour main mistake was that you publicly admitted that you fail the shopping cart test, which is as follows:
ReplyDeleteThe shopping cart is the ultimate litmus test for whether a person is capable of self-governing.
To return the shopping cart is an easy, convenient task and one which we all recognize as the correct, appropriate thing to do. To return the shopping cart is objectively right. There are no situations other than dire emergencies in which a person is not able to return their cart. Simultaneously, it is not illegal to abandon your shopping cart. Therefore the shopping cart presents itself as the apex example of whether a person will do what is right without being forced to do it. No one will punish you for not returning the shopping cart, no one will fine you or kill you for not returning the shopping cart, you gain nothing by returning the shopping cart. You must return the shopping cart out of the goodness of your own heart. You must return the shopping cart because it is the right thing to do. Because it is correct.
A person who is unable to do this is no better than an animal, an absolute savage who can only be made to do what is right by threatening them with a law and the force that stands behind it.
The Shopping Cart is what determines whether a person is a good or bad member of society.