Dunkin' Bagels

Actual bagels made in Brooklyn

     A friend of mine flew out of Midway on Friday. Had she asked me, I would have strongly advised her to a) never buy food at an airport if you can possibly avoid it and b) never eat at a Dunkin' Donuts for any reason whatsoever and c) never forget, of the range of foodstuff never eaten at the Dunkin' Donuts you never patronize, to particularly abstain from ordering bagels. You risk rending the fabric of time.
     Not to minimize her food service nightmare, which was sufficiently nuts that I asked if she would permit me to share her subsequent complaint to Dunkin's, if only to ladle the scorn upon Dunkin's that they deserve on their best day. In her defense, she was under the impression that a Great American Bagel was at Midway ("don’t mistake me for someone who thinks a Dunkin Donuts bagel is acceptable" is how she phrased it, in our considerable post -fiasco parsing) and was looking for that, when its non-presence made her stoop to order a Dunkin's bagel (heck, they can't even make a good DONUT, in my estimation). She asked that I shield her identity to escape the shame of patronizing Dunkin' Donuts — whose coffee, I am told, can be acceptable — and I agreed. 

     Greetings, your Twitter account suggested I DM you with feedback re concessions. 
     First, please find a way to put a few tables along the terminals and especially at the ends. Many of the concessions have no seating areas themselves, so you buy food that really requires more than a lap at the end of terminal B and then find you have to walk all the way back to the start to sit down. 
     Two: If you can contact whoever manages the Midway Dunkin' Donuts to pass along my input, please do: since the central DD was so jammed I walked to the end of Terminal B and ordered two sesame bagels sliced and well toasted and a medium coffee. First I had to persuade the counter person to take my order, because even though she was doing nothing, she insisted I use the kiosk. But the kiosk would not let me choose a bagel flavor. Finally she sulkily agreed to take the order.
      Some time later I got the coffee and asked where the creamers were. They seemed shocked that anyone would put cream in coffee but eventually brought me a paper cup with about two drops of milk in it. When I asked for more, like Oliver Twist, the worker turned to a manager and said, “Do I have to give it to her?” 
     Finally I had my coffee and bag of bagels and realized there was nowhere for my husband and I to eat. We ran back to the center to be able to sit and eat before our flight. Ripped open the bag and found that the DD people at the end of the terminal had put the bagels into the toaster without slicing them. I took the bagels to the nearby center Dunkin and asked the girl at the window to help me out on that. She stared at me, then continued handing out other orders as soon as I made space at the counter, thinking my problem would be attended to. After a while I realized no one was going to help me. The girl at there would not respond to me so I finally had to stand right at the window again until she asked me to move so she could hand out other orders. I repeated my problem. She claimed it wasn’t Dunkin bagels. I showed her the Dunkin bag. A manager came over and finally agreed to give me a refund and charge me for new bagels. But then he couldn’t make the register work. 
     Eventually he agreed to give me two new bagels, and when I asked for two sesame, he said Dunkin' Donuts doesn’t have sesame at the airport. I pointed out that I had just purchased two from Dunkin' at the airport. Then he got really nasty. Eventually we agreed on two plain bagels, sliced and well toasted. I don’t ask for and did not receive fresh cream cheese. And when I opened the bag, I found two plain bagels barely warm, not at all toasted. All this cost me, with tip, almost $17. I finally went to Tall Boy Tacos and got a breakfast burrito, costing me $18 more dollars. Quite an expensive breakfast. I will send you next a picture of the Dunkin with its sesame bagels—and a sign identifying them as such. Thank you.