Monday, February 24, 2020

The last thing you ever need to read about Rod Blagojevich

Whitney Museum
     If I must ....
     But really: Does Rod Blagojevich require explaining? Is it not abundantly clear? Do we have to belabor the obvious?
     When news broke last Tuesday that our nation’s No. 1 corrupt egomaniac, Donald Trump, had granted clemency to Illinois’ imprisoned corrupt egomaniac, Rod Blagojevich, I was talking to a group of college students who stopped by the paper — I have a column worked up about that discomfort, but it’ll have to wait, since the public is clamoring for more Rod.
     ”Nada on ... the sprung grey-haired guv?” challenged a regular reader, one of a number to inquire. “What gives?”
     What gives is the latest act of a sad and tawdry long-running tragi-farce, a dismal freak show starring the animate political corpse of our former governor who, in fine chicken-with-its-head-cut-off style, emerged from distant confinement to run in circles around the media spotlight, emitting horrid wet, sputtering semi-clucks out of its stump of a neck.
     We should turn away in revulsion. But reporters are jostling at the brimming trough for their interchangeable exclusives. Not to blame them. It’s in the blood. As I stood at the city desk, blinking at the news, my editor asked if I wanted to opine. I didn’t. Analyzing Blago is like doing color commentary for a coin toss. But the fire bell rings, the old engine horse stirs from its straw.
     Two minutes later I was back in my office, consulting Kipling to remind myself which self-serving bromides Blagojevich was sure to spout, when my boss ambled over and observed that my colleague Mark Brown was already on the job.

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  1. One disagreement about Chris Christie: He has a brain, he just uses it to do bad things, such as shutting down part of the George Washington Bridge to punish the people of Fort Lee, NJ for their Democratic mayor not endorsing him or his disgusting shutdown of the NJ state parks & then he went to one that was closed & sunned his big fat body on an empty beach.

    Blago doesn't have a brain, he's just a conman, like his hero, Dump!

  2. Blago and The Cowardly Liar, two men without a sense of shame, a trait shared with the murderer in the mirror. Their worst fear should be a child's epiphany.

  3. Nice column with beautiful imagery. One day of him was enough. Obviously they let him out too early. I am amazed some people think he got too much time. If you want to clean up corruption in Illinois giving this clown 14 years is a good start.

  4. I don't think the medical profession has something that will be helpful to Blago. The best we can hope for is solitude, mostly ours from him, but for him also.

  5. Here's the best I could do with Kipling (from Stalky & Company):

    ‘Arrah, Patsy, mind the baby! Arrah, Patsy, mind the child!
    Wrap him up in an overcoat, he’s surely goin’ wild!
    Arrah, Patsy, mind the baby; just ye mind the child awhile!
    He’ll kick an’ bite an’ cry all night! Arrah, Patsy, mind the child!


  6. When I first read your column this a m my1st thought was jeezuz, enough with this slimy mope. Then I realized that there are a lot of people who were just in their tweens, or living somewhere else when Blago’s reign stupid grift was going down, so a little education might be in order. I do hope that we’re done with him in a couple of days though.

  7. To many his sentence probably seemed a tad long, given that he never actually collected the ill gotten gains he sought, and his return to society would have come as a relief. But then he had to open his big mouth and remind us of what a jerk he is.
    Regarding the severity of the sentence I am reminded of revisiting a teen age enthusiasm, Dostoevsky's "Crime and Punishment," and was surprised to relearn that Raskolnikov spent only eight years in Siberia for the murder of two old women. It was a time when public hangings and decapitations for even lesser crimes were popular public spectacles in most of the western world. Made imperial Russia seem less barbaric.


  8. At least the people of Illinois weren't gullible enough to allow Blagojamoke to con them into spending forty million taxpayer dollars to demolish and replace NIU's Cole Hall, and to erect a hideous memorial, after the 2008 shootings. Outraged alumni, as well as ordinary citizens, hooted him down.

    One of the best replies to his proposal (in the Tribune) read: "Time heals--not bulldozers." The people of Illnois understood that. The building was repurposed, a simple memorial was dedicated, and Blagojamoke didn't get his dirty hands on any additional kickbacks. I would have liked to see him serve...wait for it..."Four more years!" And maybe a couple more for luck. But he had low friends in high places...or is it the other way around?

  9. I actually thought Blago’s sentence was a bit much for a corrupt politician. It was harsh likely because he pissed off everyone with his lack of remorse even though he was caught on tape. His cavalier attitude did him harm but the thing is he actually believes he did nothing wrong. He grew up seeing how other Illinois politicians advanced their careers and did likewise. This is a crooked state! I didn’t like the 14-year sentence because there have been murderers who were sentenced to just six years. I don’t like all that Blago has done, but you can’t tell me that that’s right!


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