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| Getting ready. |
There's a line in the 1982 comedy "Diner" that is justly famous. Kevin Bacon's Tim sees an elegant woman trot past on a horse. ""Do you ever get the feeling," he asks Mickey Rourke's Boogie, "there's something going on we don't know about?"
I'm not complaining. I've certainly shimmied my way further up the greased pole of life than I ever expected I would. Still, now and then I catch a glimpse of the many-layered empyrean rising into the mists far, far above me.
For instance. We were in Copenhagen and Amsterdam. Taking our dog along would be impractical, so we parked her with a neighbor whose children yearn for the dog experience.
So now we're back, and we go next door to deliver their thank-you-for-watching-Kitty presents. And it just so happens to be the afternoon before the girl's 9th birthday party sleepover. And we caught a pair of women set up what can only be called a pastel princess bivouac, with tents and balloons and TV trays.
I'm not saying we blew off the boys' birthdays. When the younger lad turned 9, I bought him a set of golf clubs and we went out to the field behind our house and used them. Another time, we held a whipped cream pie fight for his friends — when does a person actually get the chance to do that? —with tables set with aluminum pie pans stacked high with Reddi-Wip. Another time we took his pals to Pinstripes for bocce ball and pizza.
I'm not complaining. I've certainly shimmied my way further up the greased pole of life than I ever expected I would. Still, now and then I catch a glimpse of the many-layered empyrean rising into the mists far, far above me.
For instance. We were in Copenhagen and Amsterdam. Taking our dog along would be impractical, so we parked her with a neighbor whose children yearn for the dog experience.
So now we're back, and we go next door to deliver their thank-you-for-watching-Kitty presents. And it just so happens to be the afternoon before the girl's 9th birthday party sleepover. And we caught a pair of women set up what can only be called a pastel princess bivouac, with tents and balloons and TV trays.
I'm not saying we blew off the boys' birthdays. When the younger lad turned 9, I bought him a set of golf clubs and we went out to the field behind our house and used them. Another time, we held a whipped cream pie fight for his friends — when does a person actually get the chance to do that? —with tables set with aluminum pie pans stacked high with Reddi-Wip. Another time we took his pals to Pinstripes for bocce ball and pizza.
When the older boy was very young, we had Professor Boonie — some character who played guitar at the Lincoln Park Zoo — to our apartment to entertain. When he was 3, I took him to Chuck E. Cheese, because he wanted to. For the same reason, a few years later, he and his pals were squired downtown, for a spooky Halloween performance by the Chicago Symphony Orchestra (his birthday is the week before Halloween).
Yes, our celebrations did skew down market. Pin the tail on the Donkey. Scavenger hunts.
Still, it's not as if they spent their birthdays neglected and alone, weeping face down on their beds. But this. This was a whole different gear. Yes, it costs money — about $100 a head, depending on the details. They also do parties for boys. You can find more out by visiting the company at their fun, colorful website.
When I try to think back to my own, long-ago childhood birthday parties, the only memory I have is sitting, in a red, white and blue striped shirt, waiting for people to arrive. I'm sure they did, and that cake and fun were had. Maybe there are even photos somewhere. But my only actual memory is that quiet moment of anticipation, waiting to see if people show up. It would be much better to have some over-the-top sleepover stage set in the memory banks instead.
Now do Bar Mitzvahs.
ReplyDeleteI'm content with my memories of my simple, by comparison, birthday parties growing up, which were pretty much the same every year (not a complaint). Pin the tail on the donkey was a staple, too, as well as musical chairs, and a balloon game my dad created. And a piñata...there was always a piñata (a tradition learned from when we lived in Puerto Rico for five years). And everyone in my class (much smaller classes back then) was invited (although not all would attend) so they were co-ed. Some parents often came, too, to help my parents or just hang around. When the BD party was over, friends of my parents and their kids would often stay, which extended the BD atmosphere into the evening. Music was usually turned on for dancing and, of course, cocktails were available for the "parents' party." I cherish those memories. With these elaborate $100 a head BD parties, how do the parents top it the next year because I can't imagine a 10-year-old nowadays wanting the same thing as the year before?
ReplyDeleteThe only birthday party I remember where my whole class was invited was maybe 3rd grade ... 1953 .... and I mainly remember it was hot, late May, and there was cake. I'm sure there were other birthday parties with family, but that one, I was just sweaty and uncomfortable. And grateful when it was over.
ReplyDeleteAgreed. It has gone over the top in that department.
ReplyDeleteAs my kids grew up 30+ years ago, I was shocked by what parents spent on birthdays. Don’t even get me started on how over-the-top modern weddings are.
ReplyDeleteI remember, at one of my early birthdays, playing a game where, while standing, we tried to drop clothespins into a bottle, through the neck of the bottle. And I remember my Mom organizing the game and helping me and the guests to play. Somehow, I turned out okay. It does seem a little over-the-top to me for parents to hire a business and pay it $100 a head to plan a child’s birthday party. There is so much press about the destruction of the middle class, yet here are folks able to pay $100 a head for a child’s birthday. Go figure.
ReplyDeleteJoanie Wimmer
$100 a child is a little over the top? A LITTLE over the top?
ReplyDeleteCompared to what? You ever take your family to a ballgame? Take a cat to the vet? This is a bargain.
Delete100 dollars a head is a bargain? 10 kids is a 1000 dollars. I can take my family of 5 for less than that.
DeleteI appreciate that you may want to promote this business, but no, $100 per child for a birthday party is not a bargain. Their own website uses the words “luxury” and “premium.” And the $100 is just for the tents and decor. Presumably parents are also providing food and perhaps entertainment on top of that. This is beyond the reach of many people. Not that those who can afford it should be shamed for that, but let’s not pretend this is the norm.
DeleteWell said, Coey!
DeleteThinking back over three-quarters of a century...my best birthday was spent in Carbondale, for the August 2017 solar eclipse, along with thousands of my new best friends. Mr. S knows all about it...he wrote about it here...in EGD.
DeleteTwo days before the event, a local Mexican eatery, upon learning that it was my 70th birthday, comped our dinners, and gave us free eclipse glasses. And then there were the wonderful fried-chicken dinners, at Giant City State Park.
It's all gonna happen again, weather permitting. In less than six months. Pencil in a viewing next April 8th, even if you have to travel to southern IL, to Indiana, or even to my own benighted state of Ohio. You will not regret it. Possibly your second-best few minutes of a lifetime.
When I was boy, my mom always made a special soup for my birthday: czarnina, whose ingredients included duck blood, shredded duck bits, prunes, raisins, and cream. It was served over Kluski noodles. I ate bowl after bowl.
ReplyDeleteUkrainski girl here. My mom used to make czarnina, too, sans the Kluski noodles, and it was quite the treat whenever she did. My 95-year-old aunt still makes it on occasion.
DeleteI like that your mom made it for you on your birthday, and you showed your appreciation and love of it by eating bowl after bowl. It is a very lovely birthday memory.
That phrase, "waiting to see if people would show up," triggered a long-ago memory for me: somewhere around 2nd or 3rd grade, mid-1960s era, I invited my entire class to my birthday party, at least 20 people. In my head, I knew everyone would show up, for no particular reason other than that I'd had no traumatic childhood disappointments up to then.
ReplyDeleteAnd whaddaya know: everyone DID show up, partying in our basement, with only my mother to deal with the mild chaos. I have no distinct recollection of how it went, other than one moment of hurling a plastic wheel across the room, Frisbee-style, and bouncing it off the head of a girl guest, leading to some moments of tears but fortunately nothing worse.
I have no idea if Chuck E. Cheese was a concept back then, or whether various family-related places like roller rinks or bowling alleys offered kids' birthday party packages in those years, but my own kids in the present era enjoyed their parties at all those locations. I was happy to let someone else deal with putting on the event; I just threw money at it and took photos.
My mother made sure to trim the guest lists for future birthdays, and for years— no, decades thereafter, she would talk about the birthday party where EVERYONE showed up.
Fortunately, there's a photograph of my sixth birthday (August, 1953), in our stuffy 3rd-floor West Side apartment. it was the Year of the Crowns. Standard Oil gas stations sold two brands of fuel in those days, Red Crown and White Crown, and they had big glass crowns on the pumps.
ReplyDeleteThey happened to be giving away replicas of those crowns that summer...cardboard, natch...that kids could wear. So Daddy went out and got a bunch of them and every kid at the party was wearing one. They all had the red ones, but I was the Birthday King (as befits a Leo child), so I alone had the white one. And right in the foreground is the pudgy downstairs neighbor girl, older than I was...looking as hot and as bored as hell
My later birthday parties, in the suburbs, usually involved some sort of outing before the cake and ice cream...like miniature golf or Riverview. When I turned eleven, one of my grandparents laid my first real "grown-up" watch beside my plate, and said "Wear it in good health..." He was the same one who taught me how to play poker a couple of years later, just before he died.
And at thirteen, I had my Bar Mitzvah at the old Surf Hotel, at Broadway and Surf. About 120 people. A major deal. Like a Jewish Charlie Brown, I invited the proverbial "little red-haired girl"...who had a crush on me, and then ignored her all evening. Naturally, when I woke up a few months later (and went nuts over her), she did the same to me. I probably deserved it. In my later teens, there were cakes with sparklers on them and family parties at restaurants. At 21, I didn't even go out for a drink. I went to a Cub doubleheader instead. I was already on the way to becoming a serious weedhead.
Back in the day, there were no catered-over-the-top birthday parties or any kid birthday industries that were strictly in the business of manufactured fun, and the cranking out of standardized memories at so much a head. Parents used their own imaginations and ingenuity and made unique memories for their hatchlings.
Today it's a pricey themed birthday party, tomorrow it's a blow-out Sweet Sixteen, or a graduation with a hired band and a tent and a dunk tank. And down the road is the six-figure nuptial affair, or the lavish destination wedding in Italy or Spain. And that's not even what the polo-pony set does...that's the middle class. Wretched excess up the ying-yang. Ain't America grand? No wonder so much of the rest of the world either wants to be like us...or simply wants to kill us.