Humans and machines ... they're not the same yet, right? We recognize a difference.
A big difference, in my estimation. The difference between a plumber at your door and frantically thumbing through a fix-it manual. The difference between a lover and pornography. A very big difference.
Maybe the distinction is hiding in plain sight, overlooked in the general hurrah for artificial intelligence. The chasm, still, between something from a real person and something from an algorithm. Or is that an antique distinction?
Last Saturday I received an email from CHICAGO SUN-TIMES MEDIA INC. It read:
Time to play "You be the Columnist." Reading that, I felt a) embraced, recognized and loved by my bosses and peers; b) slightly amused and a little impressed that someone would bother programming this generic boilerplate flattery into the payroll system to be automatically spat out on anniversaries or c) a blast of chill wind blowing across the barren hearth of modern life.
Hint: Not "a."
Perhaps in recognition of that third choice, there was, below the email, a big orange button reading "See who's Celebrating." Click it, and you're brought to Paylocity, the payroll system. In case anyone was so moved, a few helpful hints were offered. "Happy anniversary!" "Congrats!" "Appreciate You!" and "Thank You!" and a counter showing "0 Comments."
This isn't a complaint. I don't believe, while plugging my hours into the payroll system, I've ever noticed, never mind clicked, to wish a colleague "happy anniversary." My guess is they aren't crying in their pillows.
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Ha! No comments here either...yeah, it kind of reminds me of the birthday card from the bank but at least some humans signed it! Well congratulations from me! I didn't know of you til I heard you talk about your book with John Williams on WGN. I'm still reading it one day at a time mostly and it's fun to go down a rabbit hole on a topic there. Keep up the worthy work and well done!
ReplyDeleteHappy anniversary, (think of the Flintstones anniversary song playing in the background) you’re the reason I read the Sun-Times.
ReplyDeleteThank you!
The Teddy Bear effect on American birthrates was a perfect hilarious ending, but I think AI might be able soon to replicate the technique. The reference to Sydney J. Harris might be harder, especially as to perceived sincerity.
ReplyDeletejohn
"I hope you come back," editor-in-chief Kenny Towers said. "Because I always thought you could be our next Sydney J. Harris." Nobody is going to program an algorithm to do that.
ReplyDeleteHigh praise indeed, and well deserved.
Damn betcha. More than high praise for the talents of Mr. S...maybe the highest. Sydney J. Harris was one of Chicago's best. Wrote for the Daily News, 1941-78, and then the Sun-Times, 1978-86. One of my mother's all-time favorites. She used to clip his columns, and would sometimes mail them to me. One has to be fairly long in the tooth to remember him now.
DeleteIt was Mr. Harris who included "Things I Learned While Looking Up Other Things" in a number of his columns. Very useful phrase for the online age. Imagine what he could have done with a search engine. He also said: "There is no such thing as bad weather...only different kinds of good weather." And yet, this London native spent most of his life in Chicago. Go figure.
My high school journalism teacher assigned us a task...interview someone "unusual or famous." Mostly out of desperation, I wrote about my friend's older brother, who kept a large boa constrictor in their basement. But one of my classmates interviewed Mr. Harris. I was very impressed. As I recall, her her mother knew him. Competence matters a great deal...but connections never hurt.
Glad , Grizz, that you pointed out Harris's "Things I Learned While Looking Up other Things." I read his columns for many years, but the only thing that came to mind when Neil referred to the flattering comparison was his statement that the word "bookkeeper" was unique with its 3 consecutive double letters.
Deletejohn
Happy Anniversary!!
ReplyDelete". . .waving at people on billboards." is a gem.
ReplyDeleteI would actually have preferred an automated greeting to the system I suffered through at this one large company.
ReplyDeleteEvery so often, I would get an email about Jane Smith, someone I knew and cared nothing about, getting hired, promoted, rewarded, etc. And every time I did, I would cringe, because I knew my inbox would momentarily start filling up with such vital messages as "Congratulations Jane!" and "Way to go Jane!" They were, of course, from idiots who kept pushing the "reply to all" button because they couldn't be bothered to look up Jane's actual email address. If you tried to keep a clean inbox, as I did, it was aggravating.