Wednesday, December 2, 2020

Welcome Rahm and Carol back to the federal government

Two Fools Dancing, by Hendrick Hondius (Metropolitan Museum of Art)

     Though president-elect Joe Biden is staffing his cabinet with top-notch experts, a note of alarm has popped up. Readers are tugging my sleeve: Do I know that Carol Moseley Braun is being considered for secretary of the interior? Do I know that Rahm Emanuel is in the running for secretary of transportation?
     Yes and yes. But remember: Their names are being floated by themselves. Rahm Emanuel is a Nijinsky of self-promotion; leaping, twirling, shape-shifting ambition in human form. White House advisor. Congressman. Mayor. Cable TV pundit. Be honest: If you saw a news report on the Vatican, and spied, tucked behind Pope Francis, Rahm Emanuel in red robes and a skullcap, leaning over, murmuring a few velvety words into the pontiff’s ear, would you be surprised? I sure wouldn’t. He’s that kind of guy.
     And Carol Moseley Braun she’s ... well ... she’s just sad, isn’t she? Having been elected the the first African American female in the United States Senate, she immediately punted that job by canoodling with a dictator’s son and neglecting such essential duties as showing up for work.
     And what was her job after that? Ambassador to New Zealand. Is there an employment that reeks of pity mingled with let’s-ship-this-person-to-the-other-side-of-the-globe more than ambassador to New Zealand? Wellington is 8,750 miles from Washington. A 30-hour flight. She found her way back, dabbling in several stillborn businesses. A pecan farm. Some kind of tea, which I had the chance to try: both bitter and weak. That’s why I don’t write fiction.
     Ready for a shock? I’m fine with both getting Cabinet positions.

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11 comments:

  1. No matter what anyone thinks, Rahm would be an excellent Secretary of Transportation or any other cabinet job. He' knows how to research his opponents & destroy them, which in the case of Transportation are all the rural state Re Thug Licans who think mass transit in cities is stupid, even though it's the big cities & blue states that are driving the economy.

    Now as for Carol, she's a pathetic joke! I'm sure the Biden people have seen her self serving bullshit this week & are figuring out a way to get rid of her without damaging any relations with the real black leaders in Congress.
    I think ambassador to Nauru might work out, as I believe its sole export is guano, AKA centuries of birdshit, used for fertilizer!

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  2. Those two must be absolutely starved for attention. Why else would anyone float their own name as a job candidate? Whom do they think that's going to impress? The Biden people are probably laughing over it.

    Although I'm not sure I go along with the choice of Interior as the most useless/harmless cabinet position. I'm more inclined to think of Housing and Urban Development that way, because if Ben Carson can run it, anyone can.

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    1. I doubt that Rahm floated his name, as he didn't need to, he's been out there on ABC every week, commenting on the election. Someone in Biden's camp did to see the response.

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  3. Great column. Lots of fun. In business we put the dead wood "out to pasture", as we call it. Would be great to be able to ship it to New Zealand. But I do believe the Ambassador of Antarctica may still be open, just a couple more hours away.

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  4. I don't often *actually* laugh out loud when reading the newspaper, but I did at this: "Be honest: If you saw a TV news report on the Vatican, and spied, tucked behind Pope Francis, Rahm Emanuel in red robes and a skullcap, leaning over, murmuring a few velvety words into the pontiff’s ear, would you be surprised? I sure wouldn’t. He’s that kind of guy." Of course, this was cherce, as well: "Just a glimpse of Rahm cutting the ribbon at a bus stop in Toledo will be a clank of the chain of racist shame that trails after him like money boxes behind Marley’s Ghost." Really, given the unrelenting waterfall of bad and worse news that has characterized 2020, this witty column was like a life preserver.

    Lefty Twitter certainly has it out for Rahm. And backing the "rich folks underground railroad" also seems like a disqualifier to me, when it comes to transportation administration.

    I've got nothing against folks having second acts, but is there anything about CMB's career that indicates that she's *qualified* to be Secretary of the Interior, or is that just something innocuous enough that she thinks qualifications don't matter? Like Ambassador to New Zealand, for instance.

    Given the incompetence and complicity of the motley assortment of "only the best people" currently populating the cabinet, any two random commenters on this blog would probably be improvements, though.

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    1. Why, thank you! I’ll take Interior position.

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    2. Hmmm... I suppose you didn't intend that to be suggestive, Coey, but I'll pretend that you did, regardless. ;)




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    3. Senator Braun , one of only 2 african americans elected to the US senate in the 20th century. Only 10 in the history of america shameful. Sad that she was a poor senator. Still a senator. Looks pretty good on a resume.

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    4. A valid point, FME. On the other hand, having been President looks even better, and I wouldn't hire Trump to run a laundromat, unless money is what was being laundered.

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  5. Bet this one felt good, Neil. I'd have been happy to leave those two in my wake, but I sure enjoyed this column.

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    1. It did. In one sense, it was what I call a duck-in-a-bucket column. You can't miss. And I knew I'd have to endure the racism of low expectations from what friends Carol retains, and unconscious sexism, arguing that she shouldn't be held to the standards that white men, such as Rahm, are held to. But that was pretty minimal, to be honest.

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