Monday, April 17, 2017

This is not a post


 
   There will be no post today. The internet in my apartment in Venice is balky, and while I can for some reason tap letters into my phone with the tip of my left index finger, I can't use my iPad or attach a photo, which throws me off my game even more than usual.
     Unless this notice, telling you there is no post, actually is ITSELF a post. That would make it something of a paradox, a koan, exactly the sort of mental calisthenics I reach for when I have all my fingers at my disposal.
     Or perhaps it is just a contradiction, the way the stillness of the Sistene Chapel is periodically punctuated by booming, amplified cries of "Silence please" and "No photo!" The later edict was respected by the hundreds of visitors craning their heads to look at Michelangelo's triumph. I also complied, reluctantly, knowing that no photo could do it justice anyway. Which leads to another paradox: due to technical difficulties, I can't post the photo I didn't take.

8 comments:

  1. I tremble, tremble, tremble that on one of these morrows there will actually be no post whatsoever, so used am I to look for guidance every goddamn day in the same goddamn place.

    john

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  2. If that was not a post than this is not a comment ;) . I do hope you're enjoying your vacation.

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  3. Yes. A koan: "The sight of one index finger texting"

    Tom

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  4. I think... I think Neil just went post-truth

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    Replies
    1. Sorry, alternative fact. And now I want pancakes...

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  5. I appreciate the thought of your readers salivating for a post that would never come. I have developed a Pavlovian response to waking up and having my first cup of coffee.

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  6. Neil - I don't get the chance to comment as much given my job for which I am very grateful but I read your column almost every day. Thanks! If you do run into another situation like this, let me know and I'll be glad to pen a column for you. Here are some suggested ideas that I might use: Eric Zorn's career as the Liberal Pink Zebra and his sidekick Conservative Boy on the web or how to tell the difference between a SNL takeoff of a Spicer press conference and the real thing. There is so much material out there I could use for a guest column. :-)

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